I am my father's primary caregiver and have access to his checking and small savings. I DO NOT STEAL from him. That said, I have a sibling that said 'he doesn't know WHAT I do with Dad's money and that I have been "living off him my whole life" Actually, my father would not be able to stay in his own home if I didn't live there with him. Even though the house is paid for his only income is SS and that is poultry. Just curious if anyone else has a scary sibling? Thanks.
My mother has told me I'm a liar and doesn't think I do much at all for her. One time I had to stay with her and become her servant for 8 days because she strained some muscles. She told me it was only for a "day or two." So I'm documenting all the time I spend to make sure my brothers know.
I think they appreciate me, but I also suspect they think I'm whining. Too bad; I'm on the scene here and they aren't. They are welcome to move my mother to be near one of them. I wouldn't protest!
All you have to do is take a tablet and one column you show what Dad brings in. In the other show the expenses incurred every month. It will probably show Dad is in the red. Then show where u have to write checks to compensate. Then tell ur brother it would be nice if he shared in some of dads upkeep. Bet he doesn"t complain again until Dad dies then he will want his share.
It sounds like your brother may not be too happy with the situation. I'd make sure dad had his Will in order, too. Since, the passing of a parent usually only makes troubles like this worse.
This will probably be a long thread as it is so common. Many siblings who are not caregivers are clueless at the cost of caregiving.. at what your value is worth, the sacrifices to keep them at home as long as possible. Imagine if they had to hire someone to do what you are doing...or pay for an expensive facility?