My elderly mom has agreed to give up her car keys and has agreed she should not be driving anymore. I know this is the best decision and news for our family, but I'm sad for her. I know this is a big deal for her, she has been independent my whole life being a single mother of 4 kids. We have made arrangements for her driving needs but how can I make her feel better about this? She hardly leaves her apartment and never wants to do anything but stay home. She does nothing to keep her mind active and any suggestions from her family to be active is put down. I'm afraid that giving up driving will only create health issues sooner rather then later.
My mom has Parkinson’s and had seizures and had to give up driving. She was wonderful about it. She was told by her doctor that she couldn’t drive any longer. She did not complain at all. She accepted it with grace and I told her that I was very pleased that she did not argue about driving.
Tell your mom that she made a sensible decision and that you admire that she isn’t selfish by wanting to continue driving. Maybe you have already told her. If you have, fantastic! If not, I am sure it would make her feel good to be appreciated and to know that you support her.
It’s unnerving at any age not to be able to drive. I was on bedrest during my pregnancy and I had friends and neighbors offer to do grocery shopping and bring my oldest child to dance lessons, gymnastics and so on. We manage in these situations. Also years ago, I had a horrible bicycle accident. My orthopedic surgeon would not allow me to drive while I was healing. It took awhile before he gave his permission to drive. I wasn’t happy about it. I was a bit frustrated but eventually I accepted it.
I was in my 40’s at the time. I am fortunate to have good friends that chipped in to help. They brought my daughter to preschool and periodically ran errands for me. The older daughter took the bus to school.
Allow your mom some time to adjust. Ask her if she has considered taking the transportation from her facility to outings that are scheduled. Does her living facility plan activities outside of their residence? Look at schedules of activities and discuss them with her.
What about taxis? Would she take a taxi periodically to an outing?
Best wishes to you and your mom.
My mother still has her license, but there is no more driving after her stroke, we sold her car, she does comment on not driving, but it is not a major issue.
Now, on the other side of the coin, my father fought it, my cousin fought it and they were both terrible drivers even when they were younger.
Taxi's, Ubers and the shuttle from the county and the homes are now my step father's and my mothers wheels!
She probably is feeling sad about losing this freedom even though she recognized it was time to stop. It's a huge change for older folks. Plan an outing or two, using the new transportation method, so she can see it may be easier for her. Explain to her how much she enjoyed being out and about and can still enjoy it. Tell her that staying indoors and away from people will slow her down to the point she begin to lose ability to get around. Pep talks. Might get some resistance, but might help
See All Answers