Mom is 81. I had to nicely tell her that she's wearing dirty clothes to bed, and 'my mom' always told me to wear my clean pj's to bed. I understand she lives alone, and if she's not going anywhere, what's the sense of changing clothes, somewhat, but in this instance, she wore the same clothes to the cemetery, and two days afterwards, PLUS wearing them to bed. I had to shame her somewhat. It gets hard, because I don't want to yell at her! Let me finish by saying she lives alone.
If she looks presentable I would not worry too much about it. Most people tend to wash themselves too much. Some people never get out of their PJs and others sleep in their daytime clothes.
Maybe it is time for her to need a higher level of care.
People change a lot when as they age and conventions do not seem as important.
It is more important to make sure that Mom is safe has enough to eat and clean surroundings
I am 72, living alone, and in my right mind. I prefer sleeping in pajamas, but every now and then I fall asleep in my clothes. And sometimes I leave them on the next day, unless I will be leaving the house! Sometimes I don't get dressed until I've been up several hours. And, after all, this is just a matter of changing from one top and bottom of cotton knit to another top and bottom of cotton knit! Big Deal.
Occasionally when I visit my best friend, even late in the afternoon, she'll be wearing pajamas. If I compliment her on them she'll say, "Yes. Aren't these lovely? They are nicer than anything I had clean to wear today, so I decided to leave them on while I do laundry." She is more fastidious about her appearance than I am, but that has been true since we were both in 5th grade, so no big changes there. But we feel we have had our careers, raised our children, nursed our husbands, and as retired widows we are allowed to value our comfort at home.
Arlicohe, what you should do, if anything, depends on what your mother needs. If she has a hard time changing clothes, maybe you can help her shop for things that are easier to get on and off. If she no longer cares what she looks like and generally thinks not much is worthwhile, maybe encourage her to see a doctor and describe her feelings to him or her. If she isn't dirty or smelly and she is OK about her clothes, maybe you should ignore it.
And if she is recently bereaved, all bets are off. How we behave while we are actively grieving is no indication of how we'll be the rest of our lives. And mourning is not the same as depression.
For the most part, she'd fairly fastidious, but she is getting a lot slower and somedays does spend the day in pjs.
Her physical comfort overrides all. I know she is down to two showers per week, but she cleans her face and private areas daily (very prone to UTI's).
It is very difficult for him to manage buttons and his shoulders & arms ache with changing clothes too often. So as long as his health is good, I let him be. It is embarrassing to him ( and most seniors I would think ) to need so much help just changing a shirt.
He is 96 and I had to learn that I must pick my battles. As long as he is happy, comfortable and healthy - he is still here with me. If and when living gets too hard for him, he won't want to be here anymore.
I hope I am saying this all the right way - but they become almost like babies again and if you constantly nag, yell and complain, then no one will be happy.
Just try not to fall into the same routine yourself. That happens too.
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