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But the past week she hasn't wanted to drink what now? My mom has had dementia for at least 10 years she has lived with us for 5 years and has been in the nursing home for almost 4 years. The reason she went in the nursing home was due to her falling and poor appetite. She never has been a big eater even when she didn't have dementia. I don't know if it is time to call in hospice or what. I find myself getting frustrated with the not drinking. I came to terms with the not eating. I know i can't make her drink but I just sometimes don't understand the whole process.

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Could she possibly have a strep throat or something like that? It's not unusual for people to not want to eat or drink but it could be it hurts to swallow. Would she eat peanut butter if you tried since she could let it melt in her mouth and it has a lot of calories.
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Duke, there comes a time when one's body will start to slowly shut down... thus, the stomach isn't able to process food and that causes a terrible discomfort for the patient. As for the stopping of liquids, it could be it is now going into the lungs. Or maybe your Mom has become lactose intolerant, thus is unable to process dairy products, major stomach aches. LACTAID® makes a very good chocolate milk, but I have a feeling your Mom wouldn't want to try it.

I would ask the nurse about Hospice. Only a doctor can place your Mom on Hospice if the doctor examines your Mom's medical records.

Keep us update on what is the next plan.
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Duke
Definately ask your Dt. to refer her to hospice. They can do comptehensive health check. Would she eat chocakate pudding?Jello? However i believe Hospice should be involved..
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Last stage dementia. She needs an iv and peg line
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Duke..
The final stages the body can not process food.
PLEASE do not do a feeding tube. The body can not process what is put into it so it will either be vomited up and some possibly aspirated or it can cause a blockage.
IV fluids can also cause problems with the respiratory system as the body has a more difficult time processing liquids.
I have read the in the final stages that dehydration can be more comfortable.

If your Mom is not yet on Hospice make a call and allow them to help you and your Mom through this. She will not be left alone, you will get a break and she will get great care in her final days.
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Watch the YouTube video Gone From My Sight by Barbara Karnes. It's 90 minutes of clear, understandable explanation of the process of dying, including why a person stops taking in nourishment.
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I've been where you are. My Mom stopped eating and then later drinking. My sister wanted to give IV fluids and feeding tube. But to what end. We were told she would just throw it up and could asperate on it. Mother had lost 35 lbs and had started sleeping all the time. She didn't recognize us most of the time and that scared her, all these strangers telling her they were her family. We chose to be "nice people checking on her when she didn't know us. When she did, we loved on her as much as we could. Be there for her in what ever capacity you can and let her go. What she is experiencing is God's natural way of preparing her for her journey to Him. Prayers for you and your family!
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Duke, I think you need to call Hospice. Very bluntly in the days before passing people often refuse to eat or drink as their systems are shutting down. This nothing wilful on their part it is just a normal sequence of events. I'm sorry. Blessings to you, Lindaz.
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As others have mentioned, something needs to be done fast if she can't have a feeding tube. Definitely get her evaluated because the human body can only live three days without water
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As others have urged, don't press her... this is a natural end to life. Please don't take this the wrong way, but did you ever notice how an old dog winds down... eating and drinking eventually stop as nature takes its course. Just give love and let that be your gift. Your tears are OK too. Been there.
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when my dad reached this stage we did a blood test to check his kidney function.
they were not good, we did one round of IV fluids and called in hospice. Calling in hospice was just to give the home the permission to just do palliative care and discontinue unnecessary meds, no mmore blood tests or other poking. Hospice gave no meds, just company.
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Hello duke627 My Heart goes out to You, and I can feel Your pain. You did a wonderful job Caring for Your dear Mom. It seems to Me Your Mom is tired from battling Demensia and Her Organs are shutting down. I asked My Late Mother once WHAT IF DOWN THE ROAD LATER IN LIFE YOU CANNOT EAT, WOULD YOU WANT TUBES TO BE FITTED TO ASSIST IN FEEDING YOU.....Mams answer was a definite NO, LET ME GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT, WHY PROLONG MY LIFE WHEN ITS TIME TO GO. IVE HAD A WONDERFUL LIFE AND IM READY WHEN EVER THE LORD CALLS ME.
Mother died on the longest day of this year from Alzheimer's, with no pain and no suffering. It was like blowing out a candle, puff and Mam was gone. It was so beautiful, so serene and I thank God Mother did not suffer. I miss My oldest and dearest Friend, every hour of every day. I wish Your beautiful Mom a very peaceful and painless passing into the next Life, where there will be no more pain or suffering, but peace and joy.
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Please listen to all those who advise to do nothing and let nature take its course. You may find, as I did, that some family members may be angry with you, but I feel that all those -- including my husband's doctor -- who advised against a feeding tube at the end of his losing battle with sepsis, were on the right path.
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My Mom(95) just passed in August of Vascular Dementia and about 2 weeks prior she didn't want to drink as well. I was told by her Hospice that this is part of the process. I would say to call Hospice a.s.a.p. Try ice chips and there are also little sponges on a stick to wet the inside of the mouth.
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Nobody know why Duke's mom has stopped eating and drinking. Let's not assume she's dying! I would take her to her PCP for a complete workup to find out what's going on. If my mother had stopped eating and drinking, I would call hospice because she's in the late stages of Alzheimer's and I'd just let her go in peace, even if there was another underlying issue....
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First of all, a doctor orders hospice. Secondly, if you have a DNR in place then all you can do is try to encourage her to drink, but the illness will take its course. Educate yourself with information on alz
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Well that original post was from four days ago, so it's entirely possible the woman is already dead. Few people will live longer than that with no fluid intake whatsoever. But assuming otherwise, she absolutely needs to be seen by a doctor. And likely it is well past time when you could have called in Hospice, which is something the doctor can and likely will order, IF this is all due to the Alzheimer's. So get busy with the call to the doctor. As for feeding tubes and IV's, if the doctor determines some OTHER cause for the patients refusal to drink and eat, then the sooner the better. But if this is the last stages of Alzheimer's, (which is really sounds lilke) please DO NOT torture your loved one with these purposeless interventions. They will NOTmake her live forever. They will not make her better. They WILL just prolong her misery. The only way I would implement them would be if the patient has specifically requested extreme measures be used even if they were not going to be of benefit..
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Duke 627
My prayers are with you and your Mom. Calling in hospice won't change the fact that Mom isn't eating or drinking, that is part of the process but please for your Moms sake do nothing artificial. Hospice will keep a check on her and only give her meds. to keep her comfortable, nothing more. I lost my Mom December 2015 and all this is still really fresh and hurts. God Bless you for being there for your Mom
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durinda and all others.....so sorry for your loss. My mom just passed away also Aug. 27th. They are not in pain or any distress. My friend's mom who also just passed in July stayed alive for 14 days with NO water or food. The body is pretty intricate. It can go really fast or a long process. Please don't be frustrated. She needs you now. Please do call hospice to evaluate. sounds like she is ready. Good luck and God Bless.
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Hi Duke.
My mom went into long term care weighing 140 pounds. Two years later she was down to 76. At one point, she went for 2 1/2 months without eating any real food. She also stopped drinking the Mighty Shakes. She'd been on a pureed diet for most of the time she was in the nursing home because we were told that she was aspirating. During those 2 1/2 months that she stopped eating, she survived on thickened milk mixed with Carnation Instant Breakfast.
After a lot of soul searching, I made a decision not to have a feeding tube inserted. My decision was made easier when the gastro doctor said that he really didn't want to insert a feeding tube into a 90 year old with Dementia.
Mom's story had a somewhat happy ending. One morning when I was visiting her on my way to work,out of the blue she said "I'm really hungry. Can I get something to eat?" (I thought that I was hallucinating when I heard her say those words).
I'm not sure why she had stopped eating when she stopped, or why she started eating again, but for the next few months she was eating two and three servings of pureed food at every meal. (Of course we had to start slowly when she started to eat again so that she wouldn't get sick)
Best wishes to you and your mom.
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My heart goes out to you!
My mom also has a dementia for more than five years now and I am a full time care giver ( I am struggling in a great deal) unfortunately my other siblings
Refused to help her whatsoever..
Above Everyone says excellent advices for your
Mother.
Praying for you!!
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Have you tried custard or gingerale,a root beer float?Sweet,cold things like this helped with my Mom.Sorry your going through this.Take care,Lu
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Has she lost her GAG REFLEX? REALLY IMPORTANT! !
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Definitely call hospice, the time is drawing near. It's a natural process, but soon her suffering will be over, as it will be over for all of us eventually.
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I'm sorry that you're having to go through this but you have lots of company here.

Please call in hospice. And, as Grandma1954 said, do not go for a feeding tube. That only prolongs this natural phase of the death process and adds to suffering (under the conditions that you describe). It's time for acceptance and help with the process to control any suffering that could occur. That generally means hospice.
Take care of yourself, too,
Carol
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Is she on Palliative Care? Does she have a DNR order or NBM?
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