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Hello all. I was a caregiver of my mother and father for 20 years. The first 10 years I lived outside the US but took every vacation to come home and help out and was actually able to arrange to work from my hometown some so that I could stay and help look after my parents. That situation cost me my long-term relationship, led to taking a loss when selling my home and eventually moving back to the US. Two months after I arrived which I thought could be a temporary situation, my father fell and broke his hip. My mother was in a wheelchair from a massive stroke that she had had in 2000. I then with the help of a rotation of sitters became their full-time guardians, financial planner, yard person, health care advocate, and anything else you can possibly imagine.


My mother died in 2012 and my father was put on the hospice in December 2019. He passed peacefully in his sleep in January 2020. The last three months of his illness were emotionally draining. He was constantly calling out for help and trying to physically escape the evitabile by constantly trying to climb out of the bed. He was always made as comfortable as possible. I was able to maintain my promise and keep him at home until the end.


In the past and particular after a long business trip that took me to China, I started experiencing about every year some intestinal issues that were cleared up after some antibiotics and rest.


During that last three months of my father’s illness, I started to have some intestinal issues but I was so busy looking after his situation and maintaining a full time job, two households, a full time relationship so I pushed it aside. However once the funeral was over and the new normal set in I was able to finally focus on myself and realize that the intestinal issues hadn’t resolved themself.


I did go to the doctor and they started a treatment for IBS which has provided some relief but not all and I have a follow up appointment on Thursday.


After dedicating 20 years to my parents, my greatest fear was always to get to the end and then find myself with some life-threatening disease that would not leave give me any time to enjoy my own life. All the blood work that was taken during my physical and my other exams have all turned out fine but the uneasiness and fear continues.


So to my question...did anyone else start experiencing health issues after the passing of your loved one that you were caring for that you found were attributable to stress? Part of me honestly thinks that this is all due to the incredible stress that I have been under for so long. I’ve also experienced the loss of my brother (who was no help with my parents and created only anguish) in April of last year, the loss of a dear cousin in September of last year, the death of my father in January and 2 days later the death of his niece.


It’s been a long 20 years, my friends. Thanks for listening and I welcome any comments.

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Memsobelle, you have had a lot of loss recently. It’s good that you are addressing your physical symptoms with your doctor, but you don’t mention seeing a counselor or therapist. You might find that helpful in dealing with loss and grief, and stress -related issues. I know I have. One common consequence of caregiving is putting our own needs on the back burner while we’re busy caring for another. There are also many helpful books out there that deal with life after caregiving. I find books to be very affirming. I hope that this is a time of healing for you. A time to take care of You. Thanks for posting. I hope you will be feeling better soon.
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memsobelle: Thank you, but my caregiving is in the rear view mirror.
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I am late to this thread.

Still, yes....., it is very normal to experience intestinal stress after someone dies for any reason. It is very common.

Whether you loved the person or hated them, their death affects the "gut brain connection", often causing cramping, and pain.

Also, when someone close to us dies, it increases our own anxiety about death. It's normal and human for that to happen.

I am glad you had medical tests to rule out anything serious. That is the best thing to do to ease your mind.

Stress apparently exacerbates ulcerative colitis, diverticulosis and diverticulitis. But if these have been ruled out, then your abdominal pain is purely due to stress.

Even if you do turn out to have those above disorders, a lot of people have the above disorders but can live a very long life with them. Dietary changes may help as well as yoga, exercise and meditation.

Actually, most people as they age have some types of intestinal issues or irritable bowel disorder.

Here is a link to a helpful article:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/study-says-aggressive-treatment-for-diverticulitis-is-often-overused-201401156978

And another:

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/how-calm-anxious-stomach-brain-gut-connection

Lastly, if you have gained weight in your abdomen, that, too, can cause pressure and pain in the intestinal area. So, losing any belly fat gained due to stress, may help.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Thank you for your answer! I am feeling MUCH better! I will make sure to read the articles you provided. Thank you!
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20 year caregiver for mom, journey ended in 2016, health issue HBP pills to manage. I never taken pills but that's life.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I hope you’re doing well! Thank you for you answer.
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Hello my friend, I am sorry for all that has gone on in your life for the past 20 years. I do commend you for taking care of your parents for so long. Depending on the circumstances (some are more challenging than others), it's a situation that all are not able to do.

I have just past my first ten years but my journey caring for a parent is not over. I still care for my Mom. I lost my Daddy in Oct 2020. He died peacefully at home however the challenges before that left me exhausted and a mess physically and mentally.

My Mom is nowhere near what I went through with Daddy but still needs 24/7 care at home.

I also work fulltime, manage two homes, and would literally run from one home to another so as not to neglect my husband or my home.

I have siblings like others do but not willing to give up or make changes in their lifestyle to take care of Mom and Dad.

One thing that happened to me after Dad passed on is that I got stronger. I have stepped away from some responsibilities for Mom to spend more time with my husband, child, and grandchildren.
Like I mentioned earlier, Mom does not require the care Dad needed. I will be there when she does.

The intestinal issues for me started once my grieving for Dad subsided some. I'm glad you decided to go to the doctor. Stress can literally kill you.

I don't require perscribed meds, at least not yet, but do search for relieve of my symptoms. I was told by a massage therapist (who specializes in sports injuries) that the continuous stress makes your muscles so tight, during a long period of time, that in certain areas in your body where they overlap can stick together. That can effect how they work but also effect how your whole body works. It can literally affect your organs, digestive tract, make you feel like you are having a heart attack etc.

My first deep tissue massage after so many years was painful however I realize how much I had neglected my body. After a few days of soreness I felt a whole lot better and felt the relief in my body. I also keep an eye on what I eat so I know what triggers the digestive issues. I walk more, hike more, and keep myself busy with yard and home chores because that relaxes me. Not everyone tolerates Apple Cider Vinegar every am (2 teaspoons in 8 oz of water, hold your breath if it makes nauseated) really helps, at least for me.

My issues have not totally gone away but I can manage it better. I know that if I don't, it will lead to something more serious.

Caregiving can leave you wounded. Give yourself time to heal and recover. You are worth it!

GOD BLESS!
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I wish you all the VERY BEST because you deserve it! I am so glad you’re taking care of yourself.

During the last 3 months of my daddy’s illness I did purchase two deep massages and have already gone to 1 right after he died and have another one on Tuesday. They are HEAVEN.

I went for a check up yesterday and the doctor said no wonder I’m having issues and prescribed a 1 month “wash” of famotidine. I already feel like a different person. I worked in my dads yard today and got up 10 huge bags of leaves and hauled them to the street and enjoyed every minute of it. To me, it’s relaxing.

I, too, take apple cider vinegar every morning and have for years but did get lax with that during the last months of my dad’s illness.

thanks for your comments. I wish you peace and good health.
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Oh my goodness ...you have been through so much! I'm so sorry.

I can sympathize with you as I lost my mom on Christmas day, 2018 and my dad recently broke his arm while going to visit my mom (his beloved bride of 58.5 years) at the cemetery. Right before surgery for his broken arm, he suffered a heart attack. He's been in the hospital and a Rehab. Facility for over 6 weeks now.

While he was in the hospital early one morning, I went to visit him and got really tired, nauseous and couldn't get a deep cleansing breath. I told him I had to go get some blood work (not exactly a lie) and went immediately to Urgent Care. They sent me to the hospital with a possible blood clot in my lungs after some blood work came back positive. (It's ironic because we were in the same hospital...just different floors and he never knew).

To make a long story short...they feel it was mostly due to the tremendous stress I was enduring. Now, there still may be a cause for concern but, I haven't had a chance to get more tests as I'm dealing with my dad and his issues currently.

Point being---stress can do unbelievable things to your body. You have been through a tremendous ordeal with all those illnesses and death. It's no wonder you are feeling like you are. I totally understand what you are going through and your feelings are normal.

If you are having "uneasiness and fear", would you consider counseling? It may be worth the time and money invested. If it doesn't work, you tried, right?

I'm here if you ever want to talk.

My wishes and prayers are going out to you that all will be fine and you will find peace.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
You have been through it, too, and I hope you’ll remember to take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your dad. I know you’ve probably heard that too many times and I know it is easier said than done. Trust me, I KNOW.

I wish you all the best and wish for you peace and good health.
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I had health issues of my own wherein I needed foot surgery, but I had to push that to the literal "back burner" when I had to abruptly move out of state and in with my mother to take care of her. You might ask "Didn't we try to plan for this?" And the answer will be we absolutely did try and mother said - "I am so glad that I stayed in my own home." (7 states away from her nearest adult kid).
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memsobelle Feb 2020
It’s difficult, I know. No matter how much we plan, the reality is just different when it happens.

I wish you all the best.
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Stress is what happens when you are helping sick people especially family. With family it's more demanding and time consuming and after a while we forget to look in the mirror and see how good we are and especially if we are working at this alone it's really too much for anyone to do without proper help and friends to pitch in. So please take care of yourself and I hope you feel better.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I do feel better and thank you for your comments. I have rediscovered sleep and am now focusing on me. And helping out my friends who are now starting to go through what I did for so long and they are just NOT emotionally prepared. They are a week in to this and completely undone. God help them!

I wish you all the best!
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Not sure that there isn't one person on this site that can't understand or identify with what you have gone through. And yes, going through so much in the last 10 to 12 years did take it's toll on me. My dad passed away in May, my mom 4 years ago and my sister 6 years ago. Add to it that during all of this my husband had his own health issues with several heart procedures. I used to love to do things: golf, go out, volunteer at church, travel, exercising and be spontaneous. I've lost some of that. Not all but a lot. Not really depression but I haven't done them in such a long time just hard to get back into it. I always think.....tomorrow. My body is broken right now. I told myself it was ok to sit back and not do ONE thing for a while. After all the dr. appts., hospital visits, financial mtgs. and running errands and that was just for mom and dad let alone trying to take care of my husband and our home. Give yourself some time to just breathe. You've been through a long arduous journey. Hopefully your health will improve with time or at least can be controlled with little to no pain. My thoughts and prayers go out you and all the others on this site that are doing the best they can and are hanging on by their weakened fingertips. Good Luck and Blessings to each one of you.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Blessings And prayers to you, too! We are all in this boat together and over the years this site and each of you have been a precious ally. I truly don’t know what I would have done without this site and all of you.

Please take care of yourself. I wish you all the best.
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The last 3 years my sister was, she went downhill fast. First, it was no one could do things up to her standards. I'll give her that one, she was a neat freak and I didn't see the point of hanging clothes back up if I'm going to wear them this week.
The next phase though, dementia started gripping HARD. I was still trying to work and take care if her and as soon as I left the house, she would let any stranger with any sob story in. She cried and screamed we were keeping her isolated from her friends---which ones? The ones that stole grandmother's jewelry, your medications or your purse?
Someone had to be there 100% of the time, and I'd move the sofa in front of the door so she couldn't run out at night.
All the physical care took its toll. I broke my back. Surgery 1, 2, 3 times now (just got out of the hospital yesterday) and during the worst of the dementia phase my foot was hung in her hospital bed, so I'd told her careful, while I extracted my foot. Instead, she thought it would be funny to permanently put me bedridden myself. Fractured my foot and ALMOST amputated the 5th dight.
Aaccording to the podiatrist, I'm going to always need a hard sole boot.
C fell into the situation of made too much for Medicaid, was about a grand short of the cheapest residency placement in the area. She had a state pension on top of her social security.
After her death I tracked through paperwork and discovered dementia (and people stealing from her) started in late 2011. A huge chunk was contractors, nurses and family. But when she had still been in her 60s there were no outward signs of anything mentally amis. In hindsight, I was in no way, shape, or form capable of the task. But she never married, had no kids and our next relative is in their 70s.
I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet.
HOSPICE. Her hospice nurses had let her smoke and she was unable to expel co2 at all from my understanding.
For over 2 days they had me giving her morphine. She'd never woken up after they let her smoke.
And then you get to sit Shiva with a dead body until they find time for collection.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Oh you have been through so much mentally and physically and I am so sorry. I hope you now have time to take care of yourself and take care of your health.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you all the very best.
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Me, myself and I.
I feel your anguish and sorrow. So much of your story is mine and I won’t rehearse it. Suffice it to say, God bless you for all you’ve done for your parents over the years. Maintaining their sense of dignity and respect. Pushing through even beyond your breaking point. You continued, often without encouragement or help from family. Now take care of you, as you did them. Find yourself, again and do you. Be positive. Smile, read, look, laugh, pray...repeat.
My 92 year old mom is yet living and she is doing better than I am. My health issues came about while caring for her. I do understand.
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pargirl Feb 2020
Big Hugs......
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Yep! IBS is definitely triggered by stress. I have dealt with it for 20 years now. My mom is a strong trigger for mine. And she just keeps “keeping on”. She’s in great health at 93. It’s sad really how they suck the life and health out of us without a thought or care. I am drawing boundaries but it takes strength and energy to hold the line. Good luck to you now. Your time starts now.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I wish you all the best and hope your mother continues to be in excellent help and your able to set the boundaries you need. Thanks for your answer.
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I’m so sorry for your loss of you father last month and the other losses in recent years. 😢

I cannot speak to what happens when caregiving is over as I am at the beginning. But I did live through some extremely awful times earlier in life that resulted in IBS. I was in the ER twice for what I thought were heart attacks, turns out it was excessive acid and burns in my throat from the excessive acid. My life and stress had short circuited my body. I was put on high doses of Prevacid to turn off the acid production and Ativan for anxiety. And the GI cocktails helped the burns in my throat. It took several years to recover but I did, no more IBS or other acid problems, and with diet modification and a divorce 😉 I am much better. That was 20 years ago. See an Internal Medicine doc, they can help you. You’re a strong person, I can tell, you got this!! 👍🍀
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Thank you for your answer! I’m so glad you are so much better! I have seen a doctor and am doing so much better on famotidine than I did on the IBS medicine. To each, their own. It will take time but I am focusing on myself and it feels so weird...and wonderful.

I wish you all the best.
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I actually experienced a retinal detachment during the time I was caring for my bedridden mom in my home. My husband went A-fib. I do believe stress caused this no matter how calm I tried to be throughout. I had surgery to regain my vision and my mom finally found peace 4 years ago. I do have PTS issues after the rough decline of my mom. I barely got my footing back after a year when my husband;s sister died who was living with his mom, 89. This left us as the only caregivers for her the past 3 years. Then guess what? Another retinal detachment in the other eye! I truly believe stress has been a contributor to these health problems. I try to take care of myself, take time for myself, etc. but somehow the worry, anxiety of what will happen from day to day is there. I too fear never "getting our lives back" and enjoying retirement may never happen. What a bad time in life for some of us. I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon!
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Ok Katie you have been and are going through so much. I do wish you all the best and peace and good health for you and your husband to get through this.

thank you for your answer.
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I'd like to suggest you embark on an intensive program of caregiving for yourself now. Some ideas include grief support groups, yoga, engaging a good therapist and psychiatrist for relief from anxiety, depression, and possible PTSD, pursuing a long held passion, goal or acquiring a new skill from your bucket list such as learning a new language, travel, art. Massage therapy, surrounding yourself with positive, life-affirming people, etc. can be wonderfully helpful. Having excellent medical providers are obviously a key component as well. Studies in several disciplines including medicine, geriatrics, and health psychology have definitively shown many measurable negative health effects directly attributable to stress. Perhaps best known is of course cardiac events but many other negative health outcomes have been shown to be the result of stress, especially when it is long term. Insurance company actuarials actually lower the expected length of life of people experiencing stress. In other words, unmitigated stress can even kill so keep up your attention to your health and wellbeing. You're aware of your needs for self care and it sounds like you're dedicated to healing your body, mind and spirit. There are so many great ideas here in these responses! I need to do them myself and now I plan to! You have inspired me.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I wish you good health and healing for you, too.

Regarding your comment about a bucket list, two years ago I started studying American Sign Language and it has been a fascinating journey. Who knows, one day I may be good enough to actually provide a service to someone!

Thank you for your sweet comments.
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memsobelle: I had to do a doubletake reading your post. My 95 year old mother just passed on New Years Eve, after being in hospice care for a week. Cause of death was Advanced Dementia and Congestive Heart Failure. The last year in particular was very difficult, for both of us. She was in a Memory Care Unit at a good facility, but the stress and strain of caring for her, and watching the horrible descent into the ravages of the disease, took a terrible toll on my mental and physical health. Having said that, I, like you, coped with it fairly well over the months by a very active gym schedule and satisfying volunteer work. That all changed radically with her death. I powered through all the issues with the funeral, including dealing with some estranged family members who came crawling out from under the rocks after 20 years! to see what they could get. They subjected me to on-line bullying and harassment through the whole process so I shut down my own social media account. After the funeral and out of town family left, I was flattened...at some point during the preceding weeks I had badly sprained my already arthritic left knee. The pain was excruciating. And I'm not sure even "how" I injured it - I was so pumped with adrenaline that I wasn't even aware I had hurt myself until the adrenaline that had been coursing through my body for 3 weeks started to dissipate. I'm now finishing a month of physical therapy for the knee which has improved to about 90% usage, more stiffness now than pain - and have resumed some of my gym activities. However, two weeks ago, my IBS symptoms of years, reared their ugly heads. I've never had such an awful attack. Dicyclomine and antibiotics, now just finishing those and relatively better. It's ALL STRESS - and it's clear from what others have written and my own experience that it's "normal" and explicable.
One of my gym friends (who also went through some of these issues) noted that it's like you've been climbing a mountain for a long time to sustain "where" you had to keep yourself to take care of your loved one for such a long time. Their passing throws you off a cliff...and you can't expect that you'll just dust yourself off, stand up, and climb easily back to the point of feeling good again. It will take time, I'm learning. I'm right there with you. Keep up with the physical activity, socialize to the extent you can, work at getting back to some sense of normalcy when you feel you can...but give yourself the gift of time to heal. Don't be discouraged with the "bad days" - everyone has them, ours feel a little more intense at present. And stay in touch here. This forum is a wonderful place to come. Big hugs!
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Hermacj Feb 2020
Thanks for your reply I lost my husband in November 2019 after being in hospice with bone cancer. After his death I am having knee problems which I never had before. Going to therapy now hope it gets better I don’t want a knee replacement. Not sure how my knee problem started probably all the up and down and walking I did for him and squeezing around his bed to pull him up. Thanks
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I don’t have much to say on the health issues as I am just starting this journey with my mother-in-law, but what I do want to say is I am so sorry for ALL the loss you have had. That alone can take a toll on the body.
Rest my friend. Take it easy, start to travel and try to let it go. Morn when you need to and don’t hold on to it. I found that morning is what is needed to move on. Lots of hugs to you.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
thank you so much for your kind comments. I wish you all the best with caring for your MIL and I hope you remember to take just as good care of you!!
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JacobSonBob:

Outdoor activity, especially gardening, hiking, backpacking or other activity by which people interact with nature, as opposed to contemporary society  (traffic jams, crazy drivers, texting, online gaming, etc.) have proven to be very relaxing, diversionary, and helpful.

Good article from a backpacking forum:

https://backpackinglight.com/nature-therapy-backcountry-mindfulness-wellness/

(hint:  if you open the link in IE, the photos are deleted.  Edge shows them though.)

The concept of "forest bathing" is one that addresses communion with nature, and is becoming more broadly known in the outdoor communities:

https://time.com/5259602/japanese-forest-bathing/

My sister and I discovered this decades ago, probably when we were both teenagers and visited Mackinac Island.    We found and spent some time in a forest scented with the odor of pine; we were surrounded by greenery and felt as if we were living a Green Mansions life.  

FreqFlyer and GDaughter also addressed issues related to the stress of caregiving, the sometimes rapid response required, the acclimation to it, and the sometimes abrupt cessation when someone dies.   

I think that phenomenon and related issues are why caregiving needs to be addressed by the medical, psychological, and psychiatric communities as a form of PTSD (now PTSS - syndrome as opposed to "disorder").  
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memsobelle Feb 2020
It is definitely PTSS. Thanks for sharing!
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memsobelle, I honestly thought my parents [90+] were going to outlive me due to all the stress I was under being my folks refused to move from a home that had a lot of stairs and both were major fall risks. Every time the phone rang it throw me into sheer panic. Mom refused caregivers. I wasn't hands-on [lived under my own roof], but the logisticals were exhausting especially since I was still working full time and my Manager was like the character in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada". So there was stress coming and going.

While helping my parents I developed breast cancer and there were no markers, and my surgeon said she was seeing more and more cases like this, where stress was the major factor. And silly me, I never told my parents about my cancer as I didn't want to worry them..... huge mistake.

My parents have since passed and I am still looking over my shoulder wondering if the cancer would come back. Since I had to drive my folks all over hill and dale, using their car [yes, my father's Oldsmobile], I developed major panic attacks while driving. Heavens, a senior [me 65+] driving much older seniors in a car that I really hated [my Mom wasn't able to climb up into my Jeep]. Those panic attacks are still alive and well, even with meds :P

Before my parents started to need help, I was doing pretty good, was a gym rat :) Sig other and I could easily hike 20 miles in a weekend. Today, I can't even hike around the block. That 7 years took a major toll on my health.

My bucket list is now a thimble.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I am so so sorry to hear this. My greatest fear was to get to the end of this mission and then find myself I’ll because it happens to sooo many.

I did make myself go to the gym throughout and try to take care of myself but it was hard.

Slowly I’m coming out of my tummy issues but it will probably always be my weak point.

i wish you peace and good health.
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I've experienced what may be a similar condition from stress although not directly related to caregiving. I was prescribed dicyclomine (sometimes under the trade name Bentyl), and found this worked well although it took a month or more to resolve each time this happened (first time at age 30, a half-dozen times or so during the past 37 years). FWIW it seemed to happen within the period late fall to early spring--never in the warmer months, and I suspect the longer days and the opportunities to enjoy the outdoors helped to reduce the stress and frustration.
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memsobelle Feb 2020
I tried the dicyclomine but found that 49mg of Pepcid at bedtime helped me much more. Every case is different.

ill be curious to see if I have future flare ups and map possible triggers.
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I think we get, out of necessity, so immersed in all the tasks and mental and emotional aspects of caregiving...and then...they die...and it's done in blink, and we are left going "what now??" And it all boils up and can knock us for a loop. There is, I'm sure you know, a mind/body connection and this even sounds a bit like PTSD...it's just coming out in your weak spot, of your intestinal issues. It's like you're still mourning all these losses, and still on hyperalert to caregive for the next crisis or calling out...because it was all you 24/7. My guess would be regardless of the attention to the physical, you might benefit from finding someone you feel safe talking to if you can swing it...even once a month...and maybe some sort of very relaxing exercise be it walking or chair yoga even...It's also very soon after your dad's loss... take good care...
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Thank you so much for your answer. I am glad I made myself go to the gym during their illness. I don’t think I would have survived without it. During these periods my weight has fluctuated but I can see I’n now losing weight due to an unconscious attention to diet, increased uninterrupted sleep and just purely the lack of stress.

thank you for your comments
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Stress kills and if it hasn't killed you, it creates a lot of other problems along the way. I disagree with cwillie that stress doesn't cause illness. It does. I had health issues 20 years ago from dealing with a toxic mother in law for years. Once I got away from her, my indigestion and unexplained pain in my shoulder magically disappeared. Fast forward to my 50's and being a caretaker for my mother and that pain in my shoulder came back, but much worse now, along with the indigestion and several other health problems. Even my hair was falling out from it. My sibling, who helped me, has been hospitalized and is having other serious problems. We may be older now and less able to handle stress but stress can get you in many ways!
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I'm naturally inclined to be skeptical about claims of stress causing illness, while there may be some connection between the two I think that for many of us caregiving tends to fall during our middle age years when a lot of illnesses creep into our lives whether we are caregivers or not. I do also see some people neglecting their own preventative health maintenance while caregiving, which of course can mean there are several issues to contend with once caregiving ends.
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LesleeCares Feb 2020
Studies in several disciplines including medicine, geriatrics, and health psychology have shown many measurable negative health effects directly attributable to stress. Perhaps best known is of course cardiac events but many other negative health outcomes have been shown to be the result of stress, especially when it is long term. Insurance company actuarials actually lower the expected length of life of people experiencing stress. In other words, stress can even kill.
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It’s no wonder you have stress related illness! What a long time of caregiving, coupled with much loss. Just want to say I hope you’ll find good medical care, rest, peace, and time to take good care of yourself. I wish you the best as you move forward
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memsobelle Feb 2020
Thank you so much for your kind words! I wish you all the best.
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I think it can be common for the caregiver to "fall apart" when they are given a break from caregiving. For example, when my daughter was born, my MIL came to visit after putting FIL in a nursing home for respite care due to his dementia. MIL had a heart attack in my living room! They had to zap her numerous times in the ambulance and she needed 5 bypass surgery.

Before that, she just kept pushing through, because she "had" to.

I'm fairly confident that you will get your health issues straightened out and be able to enjoy your life!!
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memsobelle Feb 2020
What a story! I hope your MIL is ok!

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the best.
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