Worried about my own mind.

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Worried about my own mind.

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I'm concerned with taking care of husband and doing a ton of the work he used to do outside etc. We went to our daughter's out west and it was over the top busy but great to be with them. But I'm finding myself since we got back thinking today is a different day. Forgetting what day it is. I'm scared half to death I might be in beginning stage of dementia that would be a nightmare being my husband's caregiver. I got done with my job last April and work out of the home once in a while with appointments, I told a woman I could tomorrow, but I would check when I get home (I was shopping, had respite) and realized I'm on the wrong day. Then last night set my alarm thinking today was Monday. It's Sunday...

Alzheimer's & Dementia Cognitive Decline

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Suz have you ever heard that you need to care for yourself before you take care of others? From your profile you are caring for your husband and for your mom.

You are on overload and need to find your, YOUR, own life preserver. I cared for my mom and stepdad for four years. When they went to a facility it took a full seven months to feel like I was getting my own mind back. Now it has been 3.5 years since and I still feel at times like I am losing it. You need to take care of you, find other solutions for mom and husband or you may be joining them.

Stress does effect brain function and health in general. So take care of you, it is past time!

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We were taking care of his parents for 5 year they passed and we moved a year later and in our camp/home within a couple years my husband came down with his dementia ,so i had little break ,but thanks for making me feel normal whatever that is LOL

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This may not be your problem, but just in case…. My MIL went through the same day/date issue aged 90, and the same worries. When I checked her hanging calendar, I found that the day/date was below the box it referred to, but actually in the box for the same day of the week but a week later. I took down the calendar and got her a new one. She stopped having the problem. I wrote to the publisher of the calendar, and they replied thanking me, saying that they had not expected that mistake, and they would not do it again. They sent MIL a nice little box of note-lets! So it’s worth checking all the ‘systems’ you have, to make sure that they are a help rather than a hindrance. As we get older we all rely on things like notes and lists to help our memories.

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You’re suffering from caregiver burnout & coming back from the West...with the time change. Don’t worry....with all the daily chores/tasks I have...I have to resort to reminder notes or to do lists ...Also get a good night sleep & try to eat healthy. Hugs 🤗

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Stress plays a big part with memory.

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Ahhh...the stress and anxiety are affecting you in a most negative way.

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Three years ago I gave up the hobby of sleeping. Previously a consistent 7 hour a night gal, I went to 4 or 5.
The choice at that time was to put my newborn grandson, who was born with a disability, into daycare, or become half time daycare for him.
In addition, I have since become a care giver/errand runner/servicesarranger/whatever is needed for a cherished 90 yo relative with dementia who is in a local AL
I could testify in court-YES, STRESS DOES IMPACT ON MEMORY.
Don’t rule out getting paid help, speaking to a therapist, sharing your situation with close associates, getting pleasant, mindless exercise and fresh air, writing things down on paper or into a smart phone, using electronic gadgets if they help, getting a massage or an adjustment from a chiropractor.... and also, making your own PERSONAL list of good deeds to perform for YOU while you do the very good deed of putting your husband first.
None of these have “fixed” my struggles, but they ARE helping me to cherish my 2 1/2 yo AND my 90 yo charges and at the same time develop an improved perspective on managing my personal worries and forgetting, and figuring out where I fit into this daily circus that presently occupies so much of my life.
Good thoughts, prayers, and pats on the back to you!

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Don’t worry, more than likely it is from stress and not enough rest, it can be from a vitamin D shortage. If you are able to hire someone to take care of the work outside or at least the bare minimum of it. If you have family or friends perhaps they would be willing to do the grass for you. I recommend getting a clock that is made for Alzheimer’s patients it has the day of the week along with the date and time, I find it invaluable to me. I also have a large calendar in my kitchen that I can’t miss seeing and I mark the days off of it. Hang in there and hugs to you!

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I would first consider stress and what my doctor calls "change anxiety". We had a home disaster in our old place after we moved out and were getting ready to put it up for sale and had to file an insurance claim, then the move and putting things in different places and the adjustment to a new community. MIL is getting more concerning and may need surgery at 88, we are her only caregivers, she refuses to consider AL won't leave her home, and now hubby is being pushed into early retirement because of disfunctional situations at his company....I find myself also forgetting things like what day it is and names, yet I can remember the birthdate of several of my elementary school chums..This gets worse as more info comes at you. I battle this situation of too many concerns and changes with daily and weekly lists of what needs to be done, and several easy to read calendars in the house. Try making lists and getting rest. You sound like you have alot going on at once and this can cause forgetfulness.

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Ok, I'm old enough to remember when they connected Senile Dementia to poor nutrition. Us Caregivers tend to forget to take care of our own nutritional needs. You can google a lot of information but start with Daily Multiple Vitamins and stop eating Processed Foods.

Processed Foods have chemicals instead of nutritional values - I know it's not easy - my DH's last 6 months had me eating little besides Ice Cream and Fried Chicken. He wasn't eating so I wasn't eating well, at all.

Start with Vegetables & Fruits and find a way to get your proteins. I use a lot of Greek Yogurt on a daily basis.

You can do this!

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I'm often a day off, too. Going through a stressful time, memory is about half as good as usual and it's hard to think straight.

As everyone else mentions, it could be stress, lack of regular work schedule, lack of sleep, exercise, good nutrition and enjoyment. It must be hard to arrange, but how about a meetup group or book club or regularly doing something fun?

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Agree with RayLin, you have to eat real food. And not deprive yourself of the fuel that keeps you going.
Stay out of the middle aisles and get your nourishment around the walls of the grocery store. Veg, fruit, nuts, skip the bakery and hot dog/ham section, fish, beef, chicken, liver, dairy, eggs, juice.....
If you are blood type O avoid gluten and corn and emphasize blue, purple, red fruits and the lesser known grains, like quinoa. Rice is good if you tolerate it. But personally I don't eat it more than twice a week.

Make smoothies with real food and add hemp and chia seed for regularity and energy. Eat your smoothie, don't just swallow it down. Food requires saliva to get nutrition into your body. You can keep a smoothie in the fridge and consume as you feel the need. If you tolerate dairy, greek yogurt is indeed a good thing.

Type As do better as vegetarians. Processed meat products contain nitrites, which vegetarians should avoid. Bake broil or poach your fish.

Os and As don't tolerate dairy well, so see if you get gut problems and avoid dairy if you do. If you have gallbladder problems, nut butters are better than whole nuts. Mucus over production will tell you if a food is not healthy for you.

Eating right can make the difference between holding on and falling back.
I recommend, if you have time to read, "Eat Right for Your Type," by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo. I only wish I had read his before my husband's long dying. I'd have been less exhausted. 24 hour care can wear you down, as you know. He offers a diet plan for each blood type, which gave me back my life, and I'll be forever grateful.

I have a calendar for birthdays and other occasions. Another, I check last thing at night and first thing in the morning for "must-do" appointments that day. A big desk calendar, if they still make them, helped me for a long time. My memory is still not back to where I'd like it to be, but we do what we can.... Good luck to you and yours.

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Hi, thx for the reference to the book, I forgotten it, going to the library this week.

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My mind was always sharp as a tack when I was younger (60 or less) now that I am 71 and dealing with the stress of my 94 year old mother I find myself getting very forgetful. I think it is just part of the anxiety and stress of what you are going through. As others have said make sure you get the proper nutrition; I cut out all grains and most dairy and feel so much better now. One other thing I do for myself is keep a journal. I know that it may seem difficult when you have so much to do but it can be done. I keep mine on the kitchen table and when I have my morning coffee I write down things I need to remember for the day as well as the upcoming week. I also write in the things that happened the day before. It helps me stay grounded and is a good reference if I feel like I'm slipping. One funny side note: My mom is pretty competent mentally, just not physically. So one day we were talking about something and both of us can get rather chatty and talkative. We both were in the middle of a sentence when at the same time we both forgot the points we were making. My mom laughed and said "Thank God I thought I was the only one!"

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I went through something similar and told my doctor I was afraid I was showing beginning signs of dementia like my mother. Doctor told me to take B12 sublingual (under the tongue) and Vitamin D morning and night. I had dramatic improvement. Coworkers noticed.

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I think I might try that. Can't hurt. I am very worried because my mother, her father and my father's sister and mother all have had dementia/Alzheimer's and I am so worried that I will end up with it. I try to read and do word puzzles every day and I still work full time, so I'm doing my best to keep my mind active but can you fight heredity?
I

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I’m 50 and I feel the same way! If I didn’t have to go to work as a teacher, I honestly feel like I would not know what day it is! The stresses of being a caregiver, working full time, and dealing with my own health issues (one being a brain tumor) has taken a serious toll.
I see a neurologist and a neurosurgeon... and they have a baseline for what my “normal” is. I trust that when I start slipping, they will see the decline, and address the underlying cause.
maybe seeing a neurologist for some preliminary testing would put your mind at ease. Get a baseline so you have some information to measure a rate of decline.
My dad never knows what day it is. He doesn’t know the year, month , or current President. He has a “moderate cognitive dysfunction”... the difference is- you KNOW that you don’t know the correct day of the week (but you could look on a calendar) He doesn’t know that he’s guessing- and he can’t figure out if he’s correct by using a calendar. He thinks he’s right! (Yep- Ronald Reagan is the President, it is 2017, and it’s November!) It was a pretty simple test, but painful to see him struggle.

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While there is a small chance you also are starting with dementia too but I think there is a much higher likelyhood that now that you don't go into work anymore that the 'pivot' of a regular schedule is gone - I've been retired for some years & play bridge on Mon & Wed so that's where I have my time anchors whereas you probably are so busy with care giving you haven't reset your mental internal clock since you stopped working - many seniors have the same issue especially if they don't have something they do regularly like going to church etc -

The days of the week were artificially set by humans as are the hours of the day - this has become important only in the last century or so because the general population could not afford a clock - most people did the same work daily only switched up by Sunday churchgoing if they were close enough to go - humans haven't had these artificial markers long enough to be hard wired so whether you are aware of it or not humans make their own markers [mainly work & school] & this is 1 reason shift workers have sleep problems -

Taking someone with dementia on a trip would tire the spirit of anyone - best to get a bit more sleep [easier said than done] & realize that this may be a wake up sign for you to put a bit more time on/for YOU - time to be aware that Superwoman was not human & you are ... so start doing things that will help you - sometimes a small thing relieves much more like hiring a yard service to do the regular grass cutting or a cleaning service once a month to do some heavy cleaning so that your energy is kept for what is truly important ... caring for hubby

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You have received a lot of good responses. It seems to be a common experience among caregivers!

I’ll just add add that I come from very healthy genetic stock and at the age of 35, I am also experiencing what you described! I got so confused about what day it was, I asked the PT and OT to text me their schedule for visiting the house because I just couldn’t keep it straight even with my datebook (it has Monday where Sunday usually goes, and that is enough to throw me off!). I regularly check my phone, which displays the date, day of the week, and time.

It is probably just being overwhelmed after your trip. But, you could make an appointment for the neurologist just to establish a relationship and get your baseline. Also, make a plan for the future. I heard elder attorneys are very good at presenting options.

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Yes elder attorneys are excellent to answer questions. I recently talked with one and learned quite a bit from him.

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omg, I feel the same way. Can you actually get dementia by caring for someone that has it? I doubt it but I have to say my memory is gone and I am caring for my 91 year old mother. Some days I really feel like I am loosing it. I am with you also, very concerned.

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"Can you actually get dementia by caring for someone that has it?"

It is funny that you ask that because I have wondered that as well. I've wondered because I've seen it happen to so many people. My conclusion is the STRESS of looking after someone with dementia can cause it to happen to the caregiver. It truly is a different kind of stress and it is unrelenting. Sleep times are totally disrupted, every waking thought is about dealing with endless issues that pop up with the dementia patient.

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This might be a good time to line up your own care for the future: power of attorney, end of life care, etc. My wife and I seem well, but in caring for another person with memory issues as his POA, we are starting to think about getting our own life organized for the possibility of needing this care, too. This probably will add to your stress level, but it bears thinking about and mulling over. You are doing a lot and that stress can cause problems, too. Hope things even out for you.

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No one can catch dementia! But here are a few things that can cause forgetfulness: Not enough rest, Having so much to do that your brain goes on "overload" it just simple can't keep up, High Stress, medications, not eatting enough fruit, veggies, Omeg 3.

However, if you are concern please talk with your doctor.

Not a bad idea to get all you life paperwork none. Better to be safe than sorry.

SuzyQ22 it seems to me you just have a lot on your plate. The more you think about how you are forgetting things the more you will start forgetting. Try to relax.
The same goes for you cajohnston.

Heck, we all need to relax!

God bless

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(Stress) "It seems to be a common experience among caregivers!"

SusyQ22, stress will do that to you. Today for a short second I questioned whether it was 2018 or 2019 … I picked up the phone, called my best friend and asked her what year it was … She didn't laugh at me, she paused for a second. Then she said, "Wait, is it, 2019? No, it's 2018." I told her she was no help, said goodbye, and hung up. I felt better about myself after that. (I'm not that old either.) I don't know if you are just worrying because of the stress you are undergoing. I understand your cause for concern, but I'm thinking you might just be overwhelmed. If it keeps happening get checked. Wishing you the best.

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Well, I just finished my load of laundry for my 96 yr old father at 9 pm. I won’t tell you what kind of laundry. Let’s just leave it at laundry. We went to the dr last week and I had to text my husband to get our home phone number. Couldn’t remember the last eeg he had or what the heck was going on. Felt like an idiot. Used to be tell you what blood test said what or when it was done at what lab. I’m hanging on by a thread. On top of that, son, grandsons, and husband with heart problems going on around here. Can dementia happen?? Yep, mom passed 2 years ago from it. I’m not worried, just worn out from everyone needing something. Love all of them but worn out. Doing the best I can. Write down what I can at each appt. Remember what I can, do the best you can. Exercise? Eat right? Great advice, do I do it??....I try. Good luck and may God Bless you and give you strength and comfort.

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I just had this conversation with a wonderful friend at work who also dealt with Alzheimer's with her own parents Me "I believe I have caught dementia " her "Nope not catching but dealing"
God bless

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I have to laugh, I do the same thing. I started doing it after I retired, being so busy and having a Monday thru Friday job kept me oriented. Once that was gone, so was my reality with what day it was.

One time I was planning Saturday outing and so looking forward to tomorrow and my husband was like, its Tuesday. What? You mean I lost a whole weekend and Monday?

So, I think getting used to retirement and caregiver burnout can cause lapses in memory.

Hugs and God bless you.

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It could just be a stage due to stress. I've had very similar experiences to yours and a year or two later find my brain functions suddenly much better . I'm not sure what's changed. Partly it's been letting go of thinking nonstop about my 97 year-old mother who lives with me. Perhaps vitamins, as another person suggests, will help. Please try to relax, and go with the flow for a while and then reassess. I went so far as to have a test, the diagnosis: I don't have Alzheimer's....yet. If it would make you feel any better, go take the test. It's standardized, has undergone over 45 years of refinement of the same basic questions. It works and may put your mind at ease. Wishing you the best!

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I forget what day it is. Just yesterday, being Tuesday, but I kept thinking it was Thursday. I think of it as kinda 'normal' for the 60's + . I do worry or hope that I do not get dementia, from my dad and his family. My mom's family all had heart problems, but their minds are fine still at 80 & 90yrs, but they are also forgetful. So I put it down to aging. I guess one shouldn't worry about something that is not yet confirmed as a medical problem.

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This kind of thing seems to be the norm rather than the exception.
I personally usually need to check the date. My solution is to keep a date book in my purse and immediately write down any appointments. The other annoying thing that happens is transposing letters and numbers.
As my physical health deteriorated these problems became worse and in the weeks since we moved till my husband died suddenly the stress became tangible and I felt as though I had PTSD. Of course I miss him terribly or at least the man he used to be but he gave me three beautiful caring children.
It has been verytressfull sorting out the estate because nothing was in order and just cancelling a credit card can cause requests for all kinds of paper work.
Now I just feel relieved that it is mostly over and like an onion that is having the outer layers of stress peeled away.
Don't worry about dementia.
Healing Hugs
My caregiver and DD were thinking I was depressed because i sometome just sit and do nothing. They wanted more meds but my Dr was reluctant which was good.
Now I try and make lists for everything and at least double check any numbers I enter.
L my caregiver thinks I am doing better this week but what everyone seems to fail to realize that at almost 80 it takes far longer to recover from stressful situations and there has to be time when you can just sit and think.
Not ready to resume hobbies I enjoy or go out nd socialize. never was one for that anyway and the idea of senior centers appalls me. I would much prefer to be hanging out with the horses in DD's barn

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So Veronica, can you go hang out with the horses? Even though I don't ride mine anymore, it's comforting to be with them... You've had a really bad time, but it sounds as if you're coming around (does that help?). Don't let others push you, go at the pace that's comfortable for you - bet you'll be back writing funny comments here soon - some of them had me in hysterics, my hubby, too! God bless, sweetie....

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No, you aren’t lost in the head (yet). But you better address this NOW. You are stressed and tired. Step back, reorganized, MAKE “Me-Time” a top priority two to three times a week. Socialize, spa treats, medi/pedi, movie, church activities, caregivers group session, exercise. ... rest your body and mind.

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That would be great ,no family to help I get respite now for last 4 weeks but catching up on doctors appointment shopping [food] getting house ready for winter , i can't leave him long and everything is a 2 hour drive round trip , I don't want to learn how to deal with this disease better wish there were class online [live], I'm not dealing well with his constantly thinking of more things for me to do . Thank you hope i can't have a bit of life in near future,

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As i told the last caregiver who was anxious about her mother in early stages of dementia, HAVE A CAT SCAN DONE OF UR BRAIN. MY father was diagnosed w dementia by his doctor of 30? 40? Years, but it APPEARS that he died of a brain tumor (that they were considering removing) until they discovered that he had tumors and lesions all over his body. Did he actually have a brain tumor, small, so long ago, that caused his dementia-like symptoms???? We will never know. But show this to ur Dr. If I can save just ONE life thru my posts, my father's death will NOT have been in vain. May the grace of God be with u.

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