I understand and really do, at 89 who would want to have to wear a pad. She hates the elastic on the pad, so I have tried to pull the elastic. I have bought comfort pads that just slide between the legs. Now she is insisting she doesn't need pads. She forgets to tell me when she wants to go to the toilet and because she is in a wheelchair she has to use a pad. Won't use a commode. Still thinks she can get upstairs to the bathroom but she can hardly walk. She get out of bed on her own with supervision by sliding from her bed into her hated wheelchair and then off we go into the garden or out for a walk.
Shes getting worse, and they have referred her to the memory clinic. She is definitely suffering cognitive impairment.
Its worse when she is hot and tired. Like tonight after a full half day in the garden planting more seeds she was getting moody. Brought her into the house, going ballistic over her wheelchair. Trying to get her onto the bed and would not have a pad on, coerced her into doing so thinking she would rip it off when my back was turned. Shes fallen asleep now. Clothes that are rather loose are now being accused of choking her.
Her last resort was to refuse her meal tonight. So I will just have to leave her to calm down and see if she wants to eat later when she has had a jolly good sleep.
What can I do to try and encourage her for my sake and the beds sake to wear a pad at night? Can I cut off the elastic or would that do harm to her already has very fragile skin and a small pressure sore on her bottom. I explained she need to wear something to protect that area.
Oh well I am off to finish watering the garden at the moment.
My mother did not resist wearing pads and later pull up briefs for incontinence. Others on the site have also struggled with this situation and they will be able to offer assistance to you.
Best wishes to you and your mum.
Please don't under play the pressure sore on moms bottom. Elders die from these untreated issues all the time as they can turn ugly very quickly. Confer with her doctor about what products to use to treat this sore every day, and what gel cushion to put on her wheelchair to prevent new ulcers from forming.
If moms care becomes more than you can manage, look into placement for her as well. Dementia often reaches the point where it requires a team of caregivers working 24/7 to deal with appropriately.
Good luck.
She is beyond your help now. I wish you luck in finding a place for her.
These are a little stiff at first but get softer with washing. There's also a plaid one that starts out soft--good for wheelchair (you'll see it if you begin shopping for these).
Good luck!