My father has been admitted to a nursing facility. It may be temporary, or it may become a permanent state of living. He may be in some stage of dementia and is becoming very nasty. He has always expressed the fear of ending up living in a nursing home, and has made it clear he would rather die, from anything, than end up living that way. So, as his mental abilities deteriorate and I wonder what his future is, I find myself thinking it would be best for him (and us) if he died naturally at this stage of the game, before he falls apart and drags us all down with him. Anybody else ever feel this way? I'm feeling guilty about this.
With regard to NHs, we tried the 5 star one, and after not having a stellar experience, we went with a lower rated one suggested by the discharge planner after mom's next hospitalization. It's not perfect, but it's smaller, not much staff turnover and has a wound care doctor and geriatric psychiatrist on staff.
One thing to know about nursing homes; you can ask the staff till you're blue in the face, but it's the doctor who writes the orders. Make sure there is an order for a complete assessment of her skin once a week. If it's written, it gets done. If it's not, it seems to be catch as catch can, and sometimes aides and nurses seem reluctant to report skin ulcers on their own because it affects the facility's rating.
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