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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My wife is not able to sleep at night and sleeps most of the day. Is this usual for patients with dementia? Would you reccommend a neurologist or a Geriatric Dr.
She is young and the diagnosis is a surprise, so I assume she is still managing. Make your bucket list and go for it all out!!!!!! Anything you pictured doing with her --- DO IT. Have lavish anniversary parties and birthday parties. Invite everyone who loves you all. Think bout things like RV's that let you go to your beautiful place, but allows her to nap and have a potty close. Take some good portraits. Make sure the grandchildren know her before she gets kooky and un approachable. My mom is nutty now, but my kids bond with her is 10 years deep. They still love to make her smile.
Dementia is a progressive condition - a gradual process. No need to panic; nothing is going to happen overnight. When you find that her forgetfulness is progressing, simply hold her hands in yours, make eye contact on her level, and speak to her kindly about whatever issue is at hand. That way, she is more likely to log it in. It really is not so much about forgetting, or memory loss, but about logging it in to start with. Dementia patients lose cognitive ability. Put valuables, keys, and items that could spell potential danger (stove or oven dials, knives, etc.) out of reach. You have plenty of time to reorganize so that she'll not notice. Always practice patience, because you see, in her mind it's all about survival--week to week, day to day, and eventually moment to moment. Never put more responsibility on her than she is comfortable with. When she's ready to stop a particular activity that she's done for a long time, then stop it. She may not want to talk about why, but rest assured, there's a reason. When personal hygiene becomes an issue, explore options. Remember, there's a reason she may not want to get her hair wet. The sleep issue may never resolve itself completely, but her doctor may have something that will help adjust her sleep pattern gradually. Avoid long afternoon naps if possible. Moderate exercise later in the day on a regular basis will help. Too early to bed, though, may cause her to wake in the wee hours of the morning. Large meals at night also disrupt sleep for some. Creating a sense of normalcy and love and affection are paramount. Never worry her with issues that she cannot handle. It will only create a habit of worrying. Always research medicines that are prescribed. I can't say that enough. Had I researched Zyprexa when Dr. Murdock prescribed it for my mother about 3 months ago, she'd still be with us. I'd have insisted that she be taken off of it. The FDA has not approved it for elderly dementia patients, and, in fact, has issued warnings concerning serious and fatal side effects. One article about the practice of elderly euthanasia in Alberta, Canada has Zyprexa as the "drug of choice." I'd give anything to have my mother back. All the best to you and your wife. K.
Honey, I am so there with you. My husband, now 57, was diagnosed after a long ordeal of knowing something was wrong. My heart goes out to you. I was just searching for my posted question on how to deal with taking the keys away. Tough, tough, issues. Maybe we can help each other and find help through these resources.
I suggest increased patience and understanding from now on. No, you don't need to totally know about her condition and what it may be or why it is so in order to love her. She is who she is; you are who you are. Life happens and we continue on.
Zyprexa killed my mom in three weeks. Would love to have her back. Zyprexa caused swelling which she never had before... It caused skin problems and itching. It's not to be given to an elderly person. It causes early death...
I'm sorry you and your wife are having to deal with this heart wrenching disease so early in life.
You mentioned a neurologist or a geriatric MD - please keep in mind a geriatric psychiatrist as well. So many unsettling behaviors and thought processes can occur with dementia- things like paranoia or extreme aggression and a geriatric psychiatrist can be the best person to address these issues.
My elderly mothers doctor really didn't seem to have a clue and was starting and stopping seemingly random medications that neither the nursing home staff nor myself could keep up with or make any sense of.
Finally when my mothers behavior became too much to bear, I got her in to see a geriatric psychiatrist. This doctor admitted he couldn't make sense of moms GP orders either - so rare to have a doctor actually say out loud that another doctor is just wrong - anyhoo - the psyc overhauled my mothers medications and after a month mom was 1000x improved. I wish I had known to take her to a geriatric psychiatrist a whole lot sooner - which is why I'm mentioning it to you now.
You may not need this level of intervention for a long time. But if and when you do - be prepared ahead of time with the name of a good geriatric psychiatrist. I can almost guarantee you'll be glad you did.
Yes. Twelve years ago my Maternal Uncle who was a Catholic Priest, had been exhibiting some strange behaviors which we attributed to a previously diagnosed problem called Global Amnesia when he was in his late 50's. Go forward to Sep 2001 and he is operated on for a joint replacement. He did not come out of the anesthesia for 5 days. When he did wake up he was mentally in 1953, and within a few months was diagnosed with ALZ Dementia. He never got his memory back beyond the late 1960's. One day he was a very well functioning day to day Pastor of his parish, next day on is way to the Lord. He suffered for four more years. I hope this is of some help. Now, I am 57 and have been diagnosed with Early Onset ALZ. God Bless you and your family
Oh my. What a life-changing diagnosis for both of you. My heart goes out to you.
What kind of dementia does she have, or haven't you seen a specialist yet? I know that Lewy Body dementia often includes various sleep disruptions. (I don't know about other kinds of dementia.) These are generally treatable. As you know, there is no cure for dementia but there are many treatments that can greatly improve the quality of life. Don't lose heart.
Although you wife is young, I think a geriatrician is a good bet for the primary care doctor. They see more dementia than most other specialties and they don't lose interest when they know a patient has a disease they can't cure. That is for day-to-day care, getting the flu shot, treating an earache, coordinating among the medications prescribed by other doctors, etc.
In addition I recommend someone who specializes in dementia and is very experienced with the type of dementia your wife has. We see a behavioral neurologist. There are other specialties that are appropriate as well. Find a caregivers support group in your area and you will get lots of input on the reputations of local specialists.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Anything you pictured doing with her --- DO IT.
Have lavish anniversary parties and birthday parties. Invite everyone who loves you all.
Think bout things like RV's that let you go to your beautiful place, but allows her to nap and have a potty close.
Take some good portraits.
Make sure the grandchildren know her before she gets kooky and un approachable. My mom is nutty now, but my kids bond with her is 10 years deep. They still love to make her smile.
She is who she is; you are who you are. Life happens and we continue on.
You mentioned a neurologist or a geriatric MD - please keep in mind a geriatric psychiatrist as well. So many unsettling behaviors and thought processes can occur with dementia- things like paranoia or extreme aggression and a geriatric psychiatrist can be the best person to address these issues.
My elderly mothers doctor really didn't seem to have a clue and was starting and stopping seemingly random medications that neither the nursing home staff nor myself could keep up with or make any sense of.
Finally when my mothers behavior became too much to bear, I got her in to see a geriatric psychiatrist. This doctor admitted he couldn't make sense of moms GP orders either - so rare to have a doctor actually say out loud that another doctor is just wrong - anyhoo - the psyc overhauled my mothers medications and after a month mom was 1000x improved. I wish I had known to take her to a geriatric psychiatrist a whole lot sooner - which is why I'm mentioning it to you now.
You may not need this level of intervention for a long time. But if and when you do - be prepared ahead of time with the name of a good geriatric psychiatrist. I can almost guarantee you'll be glad you did.
What kind of dementia does she have, or haven't you seen a specialist yet? I know that Lewy Body dementia often includes various sleep disruptions. (I don't know about other kinds of dementia.) These are generally treatable. As you know, there is no cure for dementia but there are many treatments that can greatly improve the quality of life. Don't lose heart.
Although you wife is young, I think a geriatrician is a good bet for the primary care doctor. They see more dementia than most other specialties and they don't lose interest when they know a patient has a disease they can't cure. That is for day-to-day care, getting the flu shot, treating an earache, coordinating among the medications prescribed by other doctors, etc.
In addition I recommend someone who specializes in dementia and is very experienced with the type of dementia your wife has. We see a behavioral neurologist. There are other specialties that are appropriate as well. Find a caregivers support group in your area and you will get lots of input on the reputations of local specialists.
Good luck to you.
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