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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Because they're a petty a$$? Or maybe it's that you are taking things that are not suitable, or since things do go missing in facilities they didn't take them at all.
Any number of reasons. It would really depend on what "items" you are taking to mom.
Consider some of these things:
1. Items of value - those are a no-no. They tend to disappear and fast. 2. "Forbidden" Items - those items that the SNF expressly request that residents not have on site. These could vary by facility - and may not be obvious - but the POA may have a list and may remove them when they see them. 3. Items that somehow agitate mom. This may be a grey area - and could also change on a dime. And it may not even be your fault. But there may be things that mom is happy to get from you but later she shows signs of agitation or being upset when she sees them (pictures of certain people come to mind, certain types of candy might evoke memories - grasping at straws here but you know what I mean. 4. Items that take up too much space. 5. Items that must be plugged in or require extension cords. The facility where my FIL was for his last year - maintenance had to inspect anything that had to be plugged in to the wall outlets - to ensure that it was safe and met their safety standards. We couldn't just plug something in. Now once something was plugged in - like his phone charge - we could replace the cables - and we could plug his phone in no worries. We also couldn't bring in a Christmas tree with lights that had to be plugged in. 6. Items that the SKN has already said no to or advised against - here I'm mostly talking about food. If she is on a special diet and you bring in contraband food - like candy for example - without letting them know. My FIL was diabetic. He could 100% HAVE outside food - but they just wanted us to let them know so that they were prepared for blood sugar spikes and aware of the reasons AHEAD of time. Maybe there are foods that shouldn't be brought in because of allergens for example.
We can't possibly know the answer without more details. But these are just a few possible options.
This may seem silly, but NH rooms tend to be quite small. People come to visit and bring small things with them. Slowly all those small thing add up to a cleaning nightmare as they need to be dusted & cleaned and they clutter up space that is really needed for other stuff.
My SIL would ALWAYS bring my mom something 'cute' for her apartment, but she wasn't the one cleaning the useless items. I finally had to talk to her and tell her that the VISIT was what was important, and mom was enough of a little shopper on her own, and didn't NEED any more fridge magnets or dollar store decorations.
And, of course, in NH's, a lot of light fingers flit in and out all day. Stuff goes missing and then there's drama.
Can you provide more information? What were you bringing her? The POA may not be the one taking away the items. They can't control other residents or even your mom from taking things and hiding them. Or if you're bringing little things to decorate, it could have gotten broken. It is hard for us to get on board with the fact that these worldly items have no meaning to our family member with dementia. Their world keeps getting smaller and smaller and they basically require the bare basics...easy to get on and off clothing, comfortable easy to wash bedding, comfortable slip on shoes. Outside of that, it is clutter that can disappear. I visited my mom lastnight and the clothing she had on was not hers. It is very frustrating. I looked around the dining room to see if I recognized my moms clothing on anyone else.... Residents can't find their prescription glasses...did they take them off and throw them in a trashcan? Who knows. Residents wander into other residents bathrooms and put anothers false teeth in their mouth. It is disgusting but it happens. I guess my suggestion to you is to not take anything of any value to your mom. You could ask POA about the item if it is important to you, but she may not have an answer. The most valuable thing you can give to your mom is your time.
My mother would throw away the cell phone recharging cable because of lack of judgement. The staff should always check the trash cans before tossing the trash out.
My family decided to tie the $20 cable to a string to not lose it.
I worked with a woman once who had been an aide in a nursing home. She told me that there was a resident who would steal false teeth and put them all together in the sink in her room.
Some teeth had a name on them. Some didnt. Who knows how those owners were figured out … or if they were.
No one can guess what happens in these situations. Residents take other people’s things. Employees sometimes steal.
Things get thrown away or broken, etc. Sometimes, an item may not be appreciated. We have all received gifts from others that aren’t exactly our personal taste.
I wouldn’t be overly concerned about it. I know that you mean well but things have a way of finding legs and walking out of the door. Please don’t buy anything that is terribly expensive for her.
A bit more info might be helpful. And for more clarification is this "nursing home" actually a Skilled Nursing facility or a Memory Care facility or Assisted Living? It can make a difference.
Who is POA? A family member that you do not "see eye to eye with"? What items are missing? Were they really taken by the POA or is it possible they were tossed out, taken by another resident or staff?
In general you do not bring in ANY items of value because they will go missing. You also do not bring in items that should be locked up, personal items, items that might be ingested. Any and all clothing should be properly labeled and if possible not "new" or expensive, shop resale stores as clothing WILL go missing or get damaged in cleaning. Trinkets, Knick knacks, jewelry WILL all go missing so again nothing expensive.
Nonnie, curious who told you that the person who is the Power of Attorney had taken away items? By chance was it your Mom? If your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia it is not unusual for someone with this disease to make up stories through no fault of their own. I remember some shocking things my own Mom would say when in her near final stage of memory loss, things that were never true.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Consider asking the POA, because I cannot imagine how we could guess.
Consider some of these things:
1. Items of value - those are a no-no. They tend to disappear and fast.
2. "Forbidden" Items - those items that the SNF expressly request that residents not have on site. These could vary by facility - and may not be obvious - but the POA may have a list and may remove them when they see them.
3. Items that somehow agitate mom. This may be a grey area - and could also change on a dime. And it may not even be your fault. But there may be things that mom is happy to get from you but later she shows signs of agitation or being upset when she sees them (pictures of certain people come to mind, certain types of candy might evoke memories - grasping at straws here but you know what I mean.
4. Items that take up too much space.
5. Items that must be plugged in or require extension cords. The facility where my FIL was for his last year - maintenance had to inspect anything that had to be plugged in to the wall outlets - to ensure that it was safe and met their safety standards. We couldn't just plug something in. Now once something was plugged in - like his phone charge - we could replace the cables - and we could plug his phone in no worries. We also couldn't bring in a Christmas tree with lights that had to be plugged in.
6. Items that the SKN has already said no to or advised against - here I'm mostly talking about food. If she is on a special diet and you bring in contraband food - like candy for example - without letting them know. My FIL was diabetic. He could 100% HAVE outside food - but they just wanted us to let them know so that they were prepared for blood sugar spikes and aware of the reasons AHEAD of time. Maybe there are foods that shouldn't be brought in because of allergens for example.
We can't possibly know the answer without more details. But these are just a few possible options.
My SIL would ALWAYS bring my mom something 'cute' for her apartment, but she wasn't the one cleaning the useless items. I finally had to talk to her and tell her that the VISIT was what was important, and mom was enough of a little shopper on her own, and didn't NEED any more fridge magnets or dollar store decorations.
And, of course, in NH's, a lot of light fingers flit in and out all day. Stuff goes missing and then there's drama.
Take care.
My family decided to tie the $20 cable to a string to not lose it.
Some teeth had a name on them. Some didnt. Who knows how those owners were figured out … or if they were.
Things get thrown away or broken, etc. Sometimes, an item may not be appreciated. We have all received gifts from others that aren’t exactly our personal taste.
I wouldn’t be overly concerned about it. I know that you mean well but things have a way of finding legs and walking out of the door. Please don’t buy anything that is terribly expensive for her.
Who is POA? A family member that you do not "see eye to eye with"?
What items are missing? Were they really taken by the POA or is it possible they were tossed out, taken by another resident or staff?
In general you do not bring in ANY items of value because they will go missing.
You also do not bring in items that should be locked up, personal items, items that might be ingested.
Any and all clothing should be properly labeled and if possible not "new" or expensive, shop resale stores as clothing WILL go missing or get damaged in cleaning.
Trinkets, Knick knacks, jewelry WILL all go missing so again nothing expensive.