My mother refused to keep up with physical therapy after she was released from rehab (lower lumbar fracture). She basically took to the bed and didn't get up again. My sister and I are living with her, and we became her caregivers/servants. She was not in poor health except she became weaker and weaker as she wouldn't do a dang thing. Tiny bit by tiny bit she's gotten worse. Now she is on hospice and nobody understands how she is still living.
It is like a roller coaster in hell. One day we think it's her final ride. But then she loop de loops back around. This whole business of being jerked around--where she's not expected to make it through one more day--has been going on for over a month. She's been bedridden for four months.
She's at the rehab facility in hospice respite because I had to be away and my sister couldn't take care of her alone. Everybody thought she would certainly die during her five day stay. Oh heck no. Today she was bright and shiny and asking when she's coming home. Tomorrow.
I love my mother, but she is never going to have any life outside the hospital bed in her room. My sister's shoulder is shot. I'm on the edge of a manic/depressive episode.
Why will she not die?!?
She has seen every single important person. We've all told her we'll be okay, so she can let go. I've sung to her about all her beloveds in heaven and what they're doing to the tune of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore."
We've told everyone to pray fervently she might go in the night, but we've put clean sheets on the bed here at home.
I suspect it has something to do with this line you wrote on your profile
“They tell us it's a control issue.”
Perhaps your sister could take a break and you could ask nephew to spend a few nights. Might do you all good.
If sis is in pain then that doesn’t help her mood.
Its hard to be upset with a dying mom but well cared for people can live a long time in bed. Does she have funds for a hospice facility? That could be a second choice. Hugs