I had written quite a lot and accidentally disconnected from the internet, which may have been a sign it was too long (even though I had a few hundred characters left).
Briefly. Mom is in hospice. If she is agitated or restless, there is liquid lorazepam to give her.
She was restless Sunday night so I called the nurse and asked if it was OK to give to her. She said yes and that it was such a small dose that I could repeat it if she didn't go to sleep. I still work full-time from home but had to call in Monday because I was too tired to think straight.
She slept. She was lethargic Monday, but by yesterday (Wednesday) she was perkier than normal.
She called me to her room 4 times last night, first to potty, then to get up (explained it was the middle of the night and asked if she could go back to sleep and she said yes), then as soon as I was in bed, she called to me again, so I figured that was "restless" and gave her the lorazepam. As soon as I got back in bed, she called me again but by the time I got back to her room she was asleep.
This morning she is lethargic again.
Am I over medicating? I feel like it's necessary since I can't sit up with her at night and she's not safe to be up on her own.
My sister (RN, doesn't lift a finger to help, tells me I should hire someone to sit with her at night) will say I'm abusing Mom because she's lethargic.
I'd like some opinions from others who have been in similar situations.
Thanks!
Does your mom have resources to hire an overnight caregiver? That seems it would be best because you need your sleep and you want to make sure mom is safe from falls and able to get to the bathroom.
You could try giving melatonin a couple hours before bedtime, along with the lorazepam.
My main question is, should I feel guilty about giving her lorazepam occasionally since it makes her lethargic the next day?
Thanks again
Unfortunately, she HAD to take Xanax, and the dose she was taking was the smallest available. Without that medication she would become unmanageable to the point of exhausting herself.
Often in geriatric care, benefit/risk is the only consideration there is.
I think that I would give it to her earlier in the evening to prepare her for sleeping through the night.
This is something that we are not taught about, caring for an elder, dying parent. We do the best we can and try our best to ignore those that offer criticism with help. In the end you know that it was you there and doing the best you could, so please be kind and gracious to yourself, you are being your moms hero right now, regardless of what anyone else tells you.
I would not tell my sister anything, you want to know, come visit. She doesn't get to run the show in your home or freely criticize what you are doing, period. No explanation needed. Put up or shut up!
My mom recently died in a hospice house and the caregivers were excellent and had an abundance of experience but were required to speak to the nurses about giving any medication or adjusting the dosage and when it was to be given. They know the patient and their history.
No one on this forum can advise you on specifics.
Wishing you peace during this difficult period in your life. It’s hard. It’s only been a little over a week since my mom died, so it is very fresh in my mind as to what you are going through.
Hospice is a wonderful resource. I am very glad that you are taking advantage of it. It’s all about comfort care. My mom died with dignity and free from any anxiety and pain.
I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know that I appreciated everyone on this lovely forum who took the time to send warm wishes and prayers. I am happy to do the same for others.
Take care.