Im the private caregiver to an 83 yr old woman- her life partner needed help with her carez Ive been caring for her 20 hours a week for 4 months.
She has become very very anxious,paranoid and delusional. Panicked- and stating several times a day she " want to kill myself!"suddenly believing her partner is trying to kill her and take everything,pleading with me several times a day to help her,insisting that we whisper our conversation,pointing out random items in the house that are listening devices etc! She is in a wheelchair,highly OCD, suffered a stroke 3 years ago and cannot speak well but has not exhibited any signs of dementia. Now- its unbearable for me- her and her partner- all trying to keep her calm! Reasoning does no good whatsoever! She refuses to go to the doctor- or to even leave the house!
When is her partner "allowed" legally to give her a sedative or meds against her will - or without her knowledge? Is there a protocol for doing this?
Next time she states she wants to kill herself, immediately call 911 and have her transported to the ER for a psych evaluation where they WILL put her on meds and get her diagnosed.
Many people get this way as they age--free floating anxiety that cannot be 'talked down'.
It's considered illegal to drug someone w/o their consent, yet I myself have done so with the drs approval a couple of times.
It would be best if you get her on a benzodiazepene and keep her on a schedule with those. Maybe also some anto-psychotics too.
No, you cannot reason with someone whose brain is basically broken.
You say she's NO showing signs of dementia? Hon, she's the poster child for it.
An evaluation, soon as possible and the appropriate drugs to calm her and everyone will be better off. She won't be cured, but you'll be able to live with her.
I'm sorry for this. We're going through this with my MIL. Without a dose of Ativan or Xanax or both in her system at ALL TIMES, she becomes a screaming harridan. Not fun for anyone, including her.
This needs evaluation.
It is not your job to force medication upon this woman.
I would not continue in this particular job whether through agency (explain everything to them as you did to us) nor on your own.
Let the husband know his wife needs medical evaluation NOW, and that you will not be medicating her when something may be physically wrong here.
You may want to consider asking APS to evaluate this if you are working without an agency. You are a mandated reporter of things you find suspicious at all.
My understanding is NEVER!
Thanks for your update below that you have left this position. So few return to update us. I do hope that you left the husband with advice to get his loved one medically thoroughly checked, as Jem and others are right here; there could be a lot being missed, such as an acute or chronic UTI.
If she is not trusting everyone all the time, call her doctor and ask if he will order urine test that you take in to the lab. You might have to be creating in collecting the urine. Dr's offices have a hat looking device that can go into the toilet and urine collected and put into a sterile urine cup. The dr or the lab he uses can probably give you some of the cups and the urine collection (hat) bowl.
There's all kinds of labs now located around neighborhoods - Quest, Labcor, etc. You could call them to see if they'd give or sell you the collection cup and toilet hat.
If she refuses to go to dr, at least you could rule this infection out by taking the urine directly to the lab or dr office and have it tested.
I love the one we use. Our first APRN might be a literal angel and the psych APRN who finally sorted out Mom’s med disaster is my hero.
Your former client sounds like something physical has happened if she suddenly started these behaviors. Others have mentioned UTI or electrolytes. We also found that dehydration, low blood volume, low blood pressure, or pain from unrecognized compression fractures could all spark very similar behaviors. Adding sedatives to any of these without knowing the root problem can be dangerous. The nurses came out, did blood work, got urine tests done, all of the basic stuff, and we never left the house. It was way less stress on everyone.
Working with someone in this state IS very hard. I sympathize from too much firsthand experience.
Also the husband might call the local area agency on aging who might be able to refer him.