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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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He is homeless and very manipulative . Prefers to lay around on porches from house to house rather than get a place to live. And is working by the way, but because of Mother I put up with this ignorance!! Help!!!!!!!
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions first. Are his actions having a negative effect on you and/or your mother, I.e. He is asking for money, safety concerns, etc.? If you were able to keep him from showing up, would it have a detrimental effect on your relationship and ability to care for your mother? Then, depending on the answers, maybe see if you have any legal recourse to deal with him. Assuming we are talking about your house, I think it is fair to give him conditions for coming over and coming in the house, I.e. Not drunk or going to rehab, finding a place to live, etc. if Mom gets upset about that, perhaps explaining to her your concerns with him, not about her, but concerned for the safety of your kids, the effect it is having on you, enabling him, etc., whatever would be effective for getting her to see your perspective a little. Of course, if he can do no wrong, it may be harder to find something, but hopefully you would be able to come up with something that has a little bit more pull on her. Maybe give an alternative like a daily phone call (dependent on him having/getting a phone.)
I'd like to suggest, on top of these great ideas above, the if he works and doesn't contribute to caregiving that you require him to pay rent on the days that he stays with you overnight. Also, if he does get his drinking under control , start leaving him in charge of Mom while you are home, and if you're comfortable leave for a few hours to run errands, etc. Good luck!
I like some of the advice you got here but your mom is co-dependant on your brother as well. She is enabling him to make herself feel better. And I am afraid if you try to get in between them you might find yourself in a h3llish position. They will and can team up on you speaking from experience! They will do whatever they can to keep this sick twisted relationship together.
However, as your mom becomes more sick and more frail she may not be able to keep the relationship going and brother may find someone else to suck the life out of! You should read and do some research about co-dependant before you decide to do anything right now. I think it will help you figure out where your mom is in her side of the relationship. Remember as you start pushing brother to be responsible the more he will push back and your mom might be right there by his side, again speaking from experience.
I got lucky my brother got really bad after my dad died and my mother figured out real quick that I wasn't going to deal with his crap so unfortunately, it came down to my mother had to pick, keep my brother around and lose her home or keep me around and keep her home! And I believe that my mother just could not do it (take care of him) anymore! I had to banned my brother from the house because he was stealing from us, and he was stressing her out to the point were she started pulling her hair out! I am not kidding!!
I wish you the best of luck because God knows I feel for you!
Because she enables him and because she probably always has, thats why he is the way he is. Are you going to change him no. Are you going to change her no. So you may just have to look away.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Assuming we are talking about your house, I think it is fair to give him conditions for coming over and coming in the house, I.e. Not drunk or going to rehab, finding a place to live, etc.
if Mom gets upset about that, perhaps explaining to her your concerns with him, not about her, but concerned for the safety of your kids, the effect it is having on you, enabling him, etc., whatever would be effective for getting her to see your perspective a little. Of course, if he can do no wrong, it may be harder to find something, but hopefully you would be able to come up with something that has a little bit more pull on her. Maybe give an alternative like a daily phone call (dependent on him having/getting a phone.)
Good luck!
I like some of the advice you got here but your mom is co-dependant on your brother as well. She is enabling him to make herself feel better. And I am afraid if you try to get in between them you might find yourself in a h3llish position. They will and can team up on you speaking from experience! They will do whatever they can to keep this sick twisted relationship together.
However, as your mom becomes more sick and more frail she may not be able to keep the relationship going and brother may find someone else to suck the life out of! You should read and do some research about co-dependant before you decide to do anything right now. I think it will help you figure out where your mom is in her side of the relationship. Remember as you start pushing brother to be responsible the more he will push back and your mom might be right there by his side, again speaking from experience.
I got lucky my brother got really bad after my dad died and my mother figured out real quick that I wasn't going to deal with his crap so unfortunately, it came down to my mother had to pick, keep my brother around and lose her home or keep me around and keep her home! And I believe that my mother just could not do it (take care of him) anymore! I had to banned my brother from the house because he was stealing from us, and he was stressing her out to the point were she started pulling her hair out! I am not kidding!!
I wish you the best of luck because God knows I feel for you!