Mom has been in AL facility for 1 year. She is hearing impaired and cannot stand or toilet herself w/o assistance. We communicate with her through her GrandPad by email due to her poor hearing. I know it is discouraged to become attached to certain caregivers but it is human nature to bond with some more than others in this setting. Mom is not experiencing mental decline in any form so this is especially difficult to absorb. The entire family loves this woman who may be leaving. She has been very accommodating to all of us.
Sad but better that your mom has her mind so she'll be able to understand the Caregiver has to leave but tell her that they'll hire another nice person.
Odd at this time when caregivers are necessary that they would be letting her at this time is strange. (Unless she has been there a while and they can let 1 higher paid worker go and hire 2 inexperienced people for the same $$)
I would send a note to the facility letting them know that you are sad to hear of "Betty Jean" leaving and include a note as to how much you appreciate the job she has done and if there is any way that they would reconsider letting this person go.
I would also send a letter to the employee "Betty Jean" and tell her the same thing and she can use the letter when looking for another job. (It is also possible that she already has a job and it is she that gave notice)
With good planning the current caregiver will "break in" another as to each residents needs, and "quirks" and that would make the transition easier.
I am sure mom is used to others as this 1 person is not there 24/7/365.
If this is possible, than the bill for Moms care should be adjusted if this aide does the work. Lets say she bathes Mom, then Mom should not be charged for that in her care plan.
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In other words it is unprofessional to share that info with patients unless that CG has already resigned and has a last day of work scheduled. Not a “maybe I’ll leave my job”, or “they are making me leave”. I would question what this CG wants to achieve because sharing that information with your mother is only making mom upset. Again, to me it sounds like CG wants to stir up unnecessary drama and she has.
Don’t let her manipulate you.
It sounds like she is dangling a carrot in front of her patients (your mother) and needs attention drawn to herself.
You don’t know this CG’s gig and you should not. Her job is to provide good care to your mother not involve your mother in the CG’s job drama.
I’ve known these types of staff and in my experience they think that they are indispensable thus share personal information with their patients to stir things up.
My guess if you asked her to stay on and work for you privately she will not be able to due to a non compete clause. My guess also is she would charge you a higher rate because she feels entitled to it.
Ask her when her last day is and buy her cookies or something then say “adios”.
I'm aware that many individuals change companies because there are often sign-on bonuses involved. If this is the case, I doubt she'll change her mind.
There may be a number of reason she "may be leaving". Scheduling conflicts,
increasing or decreasing the number of hours she works, personality conflicts that have developed, problems at home, health reasons, etc.
Perhaps she is waiting to see if the administration is willing to work with her to resolve whatever is/are the issues.
As for letting all of you know that she "may be leaving" - it may be because she feels it would be more devastating for your mom if she were suddenly be gone without saying anything & that is a possibility.
If she doesn't tell you "the why or whys"
It's possible she may have ulterior agenda.
Perhaps she needs a letter of praise for her personnel file. However, from what you tell me, I can't imagine she would hesitate to ask for one. If you do write one for her, make sure you list all the various ways she has gone above & beyond compared to other people in the same position do. But it's important not to mention anything that could possibly get her in trouble because it's against policy. You will need to check with her (& show her this letter) before sending it IF THIS is something she needs &/or you decide to do.
If you suspect there's something "off" about her telling you she "may be leaving", perhaps you might want to do a background check on her.
It all boils down to a judgment call on your part.
There were "regulars" who took care of my mother when she was in AL who let her know they were leaving because they knew she would be upset if they were just suddenly gone. Each time, it saddened her but she understood. Sometimes it was harder on her than other times - because of the bond she'd formed with the person.
The sting of it is wearing off for Mom and although she is still sad she is mature enough to understand that situations change all of the time. Hopefully she'll have an opportunity to get some closure with this woman.
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