Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I have found out that most of the time no one seems to care about the caregiver if they are able to manage somehow that is all that anyone cares about. I took care of my husband years after I should have until I finally spoke up after getting counseling and announced I could no longer takes care of him at home -I had hinted about it for a long time but no one seems to get is I got a lot if I can help let me know-I asked one friend to just call me from time to time but that never happened as long as you are doing an ok job you will be allowed to continue-no one will rescue you until you say hey folks I am dieing here. Write on my wall anytime-been there-and I will give you support and as much help as I can
what doe one do that they are the spouse and the caregiver 24/7 and there is no help uot there and become angry at themselves for acting drained and burnt out after doing this for 10 yrs now i`m totally mentally and physcially give out and very tired already take anti anxiety and depression meds imy husband is 20yrs my sr and blind and congestive heartfailure, we or i feel i just exist as we go nowhere please give advice ilove my husbamd dearly thank you
Now I know what I should have done gotten on the phone and called social services and said do not tell me what I do not qualify for get me some damn help or I will go all the way up to the Govnour -no way I should have been treated that I was just a slave and should shut up-start with your social service office and office of the aging do not accept that you can not get help yell and ascreem until someone listens-it was 16 years I took care of him 7 of those working full time-if you have to put him in a nursing and declare spousal refusual-I was never told about that when I was a caregiver-of course you are drained and burnt out-you are human-tell them if you do not get help in 2 weeks you are leaving even if it is to a Holliday Inn for a few days.
mrpjones, it is hard to tell from just the information in your profile, but I wonder if it is time for Father to be placed in a nursing home. I'll bet you could cope with far less stress if you could visit your parents as a daughter, where trained staff in shifts did the day-to-day caregiving.
Do you have a case worker? Are you in counselling? If so, use the case worker or the counselor or even the social worker in your Mother's NH to help you get a plan together and to get in touch with the resources you need.
What agency is supplying the caregiver for your father now? Is it through Social Services? Do get in touch with Social Services and explain the change in Father's situation -- that he can no longer count on your help, due to your own health issues.
There are things that can be done for Father. What if you, only child, were run over by a beer truck tomorrow morning? Or hospitalized in a psych ward? If you were not in the picture, Social Services would pick up the pieces and see to it that your father had adequate care. Make it clear that you CANNOT be in the picture to the extent that you are now. You are struggling to care of yourself with your own disabilities; you cannot be responsible for others as well, no matter how very much you love them.
It is possible that some of your father's dementia symptoms could be helped with medications. I don't think that is your responsibility at this point. Someone else needs to take charge.
Between my chronic anxiety and depression I maxed out as a care giver several weeks ago. My husband came home and I looked at him and said "I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I am breaking. I need help. Take me to the mental hospital." He was mad, boy was he mad, but he loved me enough to do it. I spent one week there regulating my meds, working on relaxation techniques and re-evaluating why I wanted to be around in the first place as I was surrounded by attempted suicide patients. For one week everyone had to pick up the tab that I was carrying all along and it scared me to death. I thought I had failed everyone and that my father would be so sick when I got home, but I came home to exactly what I left, a capable family and an able father struggling with dementia. I was more level headed but still clouded. External things haven't gotten easier, but internally I am handling things so much better. You have to do what is right for you. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? I wish you all the luck in the world, caring for the caregiver is nearly impossible and caregiving work is brutal and raw labor. Trust your instincts, you will get it figured out.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
thank you
Do you have a case worker? Are you in counselling? If so, use the case worker or the counselor or even the social worker in your Mother's NH to help you get a plan together and to get in touch with the resources you need.
What agency is supplying the caregiver for your father now? Is it through Social Services? Do get in touch with Social Services and explain the change in Father's situation -- that he can no longer count on your help, due to your own health issues.
There are things that can be done for Father. What if you, only child, were run over by a beer truck tomorrow morning? Or hospitalized in a psych ward? If you were not in the picture, Social Services would pick up the pieces and see to it that your father had adequate care. Make it clear that you CANNOT be in the picture to the extent that you are now. You are struggling to care of yourself with your own disabilities; you cannot be responsible for others as well, no matter how very much you love them.
It is possible that some of your father's dementia symptoms could be helped with medications. I don't think that is your responsibility at this point. Someone else needs to take charge.