What has your experience been with home care? Pros? Cons?

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What has your experience been with home care? Pros? Cons?

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Hi everyone. I am wondering what your experience has been with having Home Care? I am not looking for a specific company, but just wondering if you have found it overall more helpful or did it just cause more issues?

I hear some people say staff never showed up, stole medications or jewelry, or otherwise would show up and talk on their phone the whole time and leave without doing any of the needed tasks. Is this common?
The Home Care provider would be in the house with the elder, and nobody would be checking in or looking over their shoulder.

Thank you.

Care Decisions Home Care Living Independently

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We found home care to be an unbelievable pain in the butt. Hiring and scheduling all of help. Finding replacements when they cancel. Writing endless numbers of checks to pay them all each week. And you are still stuck getting the groceries, picking up medications, and any other running around that is required, unless you pay extra to hire that out too. Plus, nobody wants to work the overnight shift, or weekends, or the holidays. And if someone gets sick or is going to a wedding, there is another hole in the schedule that has to be filled. Not to mention if your LO is difficult, or has major health needs, your help is probably going to quit at the first blow up, or your going to have to hire regular nurses, which is going to cost you hundreds of thousands each year. And for what? Just so your LO can watch their own TV on their own couch all day long?

The stress level was off the charts because you knew that at any time the phone would ring and another situation will have come up that needs to be dealt with. On top of all of that, 24/7 home care is far more expensive than a facility. And if you hire private help, you are supposed to withhold at least Social Security and Medicare, unless you pay under the table.

Just go to a facility. You will be so much happier. We did home care for 2 years, and there is nothing on God's green Earth that would ever convince us to do that again.

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What OldDude said.

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I heard the facilities neglect them, since there are at least 6 elderlies to 1 care giver ratio. Also, they do not live long there because of neglect and other things, like viruses. It is hard to keep loved one at home. If you can afford and there is money, keep them at home, if you want them to live, not die quickly.
My youngest son works as a recreation leader in 1 of these facilities. He worked in at least 10-12 other facilities, and he tells me what is going on there. Right now, they all wear 95 masks, take a guess why? I am keeping my 93-year-old mom at home. Remove all valuables and money from home. That is a must. Some caregivers are actually pretty good. Just do not demand too much from them. There are some issues with no show. Yes, it is frustrating, however a good agency makes an extra effort to send a substitute.

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We’ve had very bad experiences and good. It’s a matter of luck, finding a good, non-stealing, reliable caregiver. With agencies, we only had trouble (no show, stealing, uncaring). The fact that agencies do background checks is no guarantee that the caregiver will not discreetly steal or do other mischievous things.

We had some trouble with private caregivers, but some of them were good: we found them by word of mouth, interviewed them. Again, there’s no guarantee they’re good people.

I recommend private caregivers. Usually, you’ll get better quality than using an agency. We always hired a team of caregivers who rotated: there was never a no show.

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Thank you, Grandma and Venting.

I am thinking of a well-known agency currently that has been in business for 20 years. I actually do not believe quality of care has much to do with the company, but instead has more to do with the individual but was thinking an Agency would perhaps do a better job of background checks or have insurance.

Interesting comment about background checks only showing 'convictions' because it leaves a lot of unknowns about situations where there was no proof and no cases brought through the legal system. So, I suppose you accept that unknown regardless of whether you go through an Agency or hire independently. Ugh. It is hard leading a vulnerable senior to such an unknown arrangement.

I anticipate I would remove all valuables from sight, and have a "task list" in clear view of things a caregiver is requested to do routinely during each visit and use it like a check-list. Not sure that is bulletproof, but at least would start there.

Thank you.

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We have had experience with multiple arrangements. I hired Visiting Angels (in south FL) for my 2 very elderly Aunts. It was bumpy at first, but I was able to find the perfect companion for my Aunties. She was awesome and they had her for 6 years. At that time, VA was owned by someone who himself had an aging Mother and totally understood elder care. BUT, then the labor shortage intensified, Boomers began needing more care, and the VA ownership of that franchise changed. It went downhill after that. So, we gave up on agency care for many of the reasons listed by others on this thread. I will conclude that it is work to find the right agency and the right aids -- but if/when it comes together, it works wonderfully.

Please know that agency aids want the most regular hours possible so if you want a few hours here and there, it will be much more challenging than if you want someone 3-4 days a week for a minimum of 4 hours p/day.

Right now I have 2 cousins aiding my remaining Aunt (104) in her home in FL. One is paid in cash, the other does it out of the goodness of her heart. This is sheer good fortune to be able to have this arrangement.

My MIL is in LTC in a very excellent facility on Medicaid (in a private room for some mysterious reason). This has also been an awesome experience. It is a faith-based organization that has operated NHs in our region for a very long time. They see it as a mission, and fund it as such so that even if one is private paying, it is more affordable than most good places.

My own Mother is 94 and lives semi-independently next door to me. She still drives and shops and cooks. She is single and I'm her only. But we have an agreement that the minute she is unsafe to be in her home - or - I'm overwhelmed by her needs, she will be transitioned to the same facility where my MIL is. My Mom is not thrilled by this prospect but she saw the ugly reality of trying to care for dependent elders with not enough time, money and help so she accepts this agreement.

I would opt to find a companion for my Mom through an agency or even privately before that happened, now that I have experience with it. But employee turnover is a problem nowadays, and privately hired people can be even flakier than agency ones (but at least with agencies there is accountability and the prospect of background checking, providing subs at the last minute, as well as relief from tax withholding burdens).

Any arrangement can work if the resources and circumstances allow, but usually no arrangement lasts forever since elder needs are constantly changing.

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I didn't have experience with caregivers but a companion for my father. She was great but my father didn't understand that he had to schedule her and just thought she was at his beck and call whenever he needed her for something. Now my coworker had caregivers for her mom. It was a nightmare. Constant calling out and the agency would never have a replacement. And yes they stole. She said they all brought in very large bags with them whenever they worked. One was in charge of grocery shopping for her mom. She was left the grocery membership card and a credit card. Found out she was buying some of her own groceries when she shopped for her client. My coworker had proof but the Prosecutor's office felt it was too small an amount to pursue. She complained to the agency and they refused to believe her. Her kids were pressuring her to quit her jobs which she needed to support herself and take her mom in to her home and care for her full time. Luckily she never fell for that. Her mom ended having to be placed when the staffing issue just got too much to manage.

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My first impression was negative until I understood what home care was. In my case I had a nurse come visit once a week and a bath aid once a week. As my wife got worse the nurse would come more often. She would not stay long only about an hour, change any dressings and diaper if necessary. Once hospice went into affect the amount of care dramatically increased. As as option you can always hire (pay)for an assistant to deal with diaper changes, feeding and other type of things if you do not want to do them yourself.
Now that she is gone I wonder if there was anything different that would have resulted in a different outcome.

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I should add this information
The last 2 caregivers I hired had recently completed the CNA certification and were waiting for Nursing school to begin. These 2, a young man, he happened to be a Veteran and a young lady were nothing short of amazing. They were kind and gentle with my husband and very respectful to him as well.
So if you do want to hire privately I suggest you contact your Community College and ask if they have a CNA program and find out if there are a few students that have completed the program that might be interested in working privately.
I can guarantee that there will be a few that would want to work with 1 person rather than in a facility.

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Home care wasn't enough at all. I don't know how anyone can do home care when they know what assisted living is like. Assisted living, where my father is, is very much like a resort, where everything is taken care of and there are all kinds of activities all day from morning to night. There is always caring staff around 24/7. He can go to them or call them on the phone or with an in-room call bottom. The risk of theft and abuse is near zero. If you need home care you should look into assisted living.

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I’m really glad you dad is OK in AL. I think many people can’t afford AL.

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Thanks again everyone. Very helpful replies, and gives me specifics to plan around or be on the lookout for. Honestly, I am going into this expecting the worst. Maybe it is my overall lack of trust in humans who deal with those in a vulnerable position. Also, I have not seen many CNA's or caregivers who actually ever look like they are enjoying their job. To me, most look put-upon, overwhelmed and irritated. Thank you.

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“Maybe it is my overall lack of trust in humans who deal with those in a vulnerable position.”

You’re SO right. There are exceptions (there are good ones). But many are drawn into that line of work, precisely because the elderly people are vulnerable: this is ideal for a thief…bad person…subtly demanding more money…or power-hungry person, someone who just enjoys being in a powerful position…power games.

What has your experience been with home care? Pros? Cons?

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