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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Nothing happens in the sense that no one forces a person from their home, maybe the unusual case of APS really stepping in, but most of the time it becomes a family decision about what to do next. Hopefully someone has POA for medical and healthcare decisions because this is the time to use it.
Seems like if someone were mentally deficient or incapacitated and still living alone with a trust that states a succession of a successor trustee and they cannot move in with the parent and has no room for the parent there could be a problem with abandonment.
Right now the parent is struggling and gets groceries delivered and finances are monitored. We hope that the parent will allow us to get her into a care home or get her some in home assistance and companionship but we can't force the plans to happen.
It isn't clear what the trust has to do with how to deal with caring for your mother. Trusts are generally for assets, either monetary or real estate. If there are questions about the trust, it would be best to review it with the atty who set it up.
Hopefully, as others noted, POAs were set up along with the trust (and other legal documents, such as a will.) If not, depending on her remaining cognitive abilities, sometimes they are still capable of assigning POAs and making legal decisions. That would be up to the attorney. If there are no POAs in place, then guardianship/conservatorship would need to be applied for. Again, depending on the level of competence, you may get full or partial oversight. The court would decide how much or little is needed, to be reviewed as the condition progresses.
You are correct, on some level, that we can't force someone to move or accept care, even with dementia. I tried bringing in aides for my mother, initially just 1hr/day, to check on her, remind her to take her meds (locked timed dispenser - they can't administer, but they can check and point it out) and get used to having them. Plan was to increase time and duties as needed. This didn't last 2 months - she refused to let them in. We did have to make some legal changes (set up trust for liquid assets and Life Estate for the condo.) The attorney took her aside and queried her - he determined she was still capable of understanding and signing the legal documents. She was only in the early stages.
Plan B was to have her move, either to a MC facility or in with one of my brothers (their idea, which personally I felt was not going to work.) She refused to consider ANY kind of move, with AL being the worst option. This was despite her previous plans to move to AL when she felt the time was right. The atty told me we could not force her to move and suggested guardianship. I'm not sure her level of dementia would have been enough to get appointed, but that was moot. The time and expense was bad enough, but the place we had settled on would not accept a committal.
If the atty who set up the trust (and hopefully POAs) is still active, I would seek advice from him/her. If not, many EC attys offer a first consult (limited) for free. It would be best to have a legal expert review the documents and your questions. It doesn't make any sense that a trust would prevent someone from either moving in or moving her to your place (but you indicated no space for her.) To back up what the atty told me, staff at the MC mom lived in also told me they can't force anyone, dementia or not, to do what they are refusing (baths, medication, treatment, etc.) The alternative involves coaxing them or using fibs to get the desired result, whether that is simply bathing, taking meds or moving to a care facility.
In the end, fibs were used to get our mother moved. The facility said just get her there and they would take it from there. She managed to "bruise" her leg and develop cellulitis just before the move was planned. YB used this to make a fake letter from 'Elder Services' at the hospital where she was Dxed and given Rx/instructions for treating the wound. In it, "they" indicated she either move to a place we choose or they would place her. I did all the other work leading up to this and left the actual move to my brothers. She was madder than a wet hen, but reluctantly went with them.
Of course, as usually happens, there was a lot of pleading to go home, but eventually that stopped. She lived there for 4 years, and home became a previous place (25+ years previous) she had lived in.
Have the docs reviewed and present your questions to an EC atty. Meanwhile, be checking out various places, to compare and choose from. We used mom's trust funds to help offset the cost of the facility (over half.) This WAS allowed - although we are the trustees and beneficiaries, the funds were to be used for her benefit. The Life Estate was a bad idea, but that's another story.
A guardian is appointed by the court, either a family member or a paid by the State fiduciary who is paid by the court and accountable to the court and NOT accountable to any family member. I am assuming there is no appointed DPOA? You don't mention one. If your Dad is not competent now it is too late to appoint a DPOA to act for him. If your father has a diagnosis, and you wish to be appointed to protect him and manage his money (it is a REAL task; don't take it on lightly) the see an Elder Law Attorney. Often family steps in when the elder ends up in the hospital because they are in trouble or injured. Generally a social worker can get a judge to appoint a temporary guardian from the family; this is then more easily made permanent in court.
If your mother has a trust, I feel certain she'd have a Power of Attorney assigned to someone. Do you know who that person is? There are medical powers of attorney which assign someone the right to make medical decisions for the person, and there are durable powers of attorney that assign someone to make financial decisions. Sometime those two POAs name the same person. (I'm the successor Trustee and POA for my mother.)
If your mother is diagnosed as incompetent, then that's when the power of attorney kicks in. It'd be a good idea to start learning now about local memory care facilities, home care, and Medicaid if finances are an issue.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Right now the parent is struggling and gets groceries delivered and finances are monitored. We hope that the parent will allow us to get her into a care home or get her some in home assistance and companionship but we can't force the plans to happen.
Hopefully, as others noted, POAs were set up along with the trust (and other legal documents, such as a will.) If not, depending on her remaining cognitive abilities, sometimes they are still capable of assigning POAs and making legal decisions. That would be up to the attorney. If there are no POAs in place, then guardianship/conservatorship would need to be applied for. Again, depending on the level of competence, you may get full or partial oversight. The court would decide how much or little is needed, to be reviewed as the condition progresses.
You are correct, on some level, that we can't force someone to move or accept care, even with dementia. I tried bringing in aides for my mother, initially just 1hr/day, to check on her, remind her to take her meds (locked timed dispenser - they can't administer, but they can check and point it out) and get used to having them. Plan was to increase time and duties as needed. This didn't last 2 months - she refused to let them in. We did have to make some legal changes (set up trust for liquid assets and Life Estate for the condo.) The attorney took her aside and queried her - he determined she was still capable of understanding and signing the legal documents. She was only in the early stages.
Plan B was to have her move, either to a MC facility or in with one of my brothers (their idea, which personally I felt was not going to work.) She refused to consider ANY kind of move, with AL being the worst option. This was despite her previous plans to move to AL when she felt the time was right. The atty told me we could not force her to move and suggested guardianship. I'm not sure her level of dementia would have been enough to get appointed, but that was moot. The time and expense was bad enough, but the place we had settled on would not accept a committal.
If the atty who set up the trust (and hopefully POAs) is still active, I would seek advice from him/her. If not, many EC attys offer a first consult (limited) for free. It would be best to have a legal expert review the documents and your questions. It doesn't make any sense that a trust would prevent someone from either moving in or moving her to your place (but you indicated no space for her.) To back up what the atty told me, staff at the MC mom lived in also told me they can't force anyone, dementia or not, to do what they are refusing (baths, medication, treatment, etc.) The alternative involves coaxing them or using fibs to get the desired result, whether that is simply bathing, taking meds or moving to a care facility.
In the end, fibs were used to get our mother moved. The facility said just get her there and they would take it from there. She managed to "bruise" her leg and develop cellulitis just before the move was planned. YB used this to make a fake letter from 'Elder Services' at the hospital where she was Dxed and given Rx/instructions for treating the wound. In it, "they" indicated she either move to a place we choose or they would place her. I did all the other work leading up to this and left the actual move to my brothers. She was madder than a wet hen, but reluctantly went with them.
Of course, as usually happens, there was a lot of pleading to go home, but eventually that stopped. She lived there for 4 years, and home became a previous place (25+ years previous) she had lived in.
Have the docs reviewed and present your questions to an EC atty. Meanwhile, be checking out various places, to compare and choose from. We used mom's trust funds to help offset the cost of the facility (over half.) This WAS allowed - although we are the trustees and beneficiaries, the funds were to be used for her benefit. The Life Estate was a bad idea, but that's another story.
Often family steps in when the elder ends up in the hospital because they are in trouble or injured. Generally a social worker can get a judge to appoint a temporary guardian from the family; this is then more easily made permanent in court.
If your mother is diagnosed as incompetent, then that's when the power of attorney kicks in. It'd be a good idea to start learning now about local memory care facilities, home care, and Medicaid if finances are an issue.