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Aww Alishka, I'm sorry you're going through this with Dad.
Is this new from Dad? If so, when did it start?
I'm asking because sometimes a senior will have a UTI (urinary tract infection) with no common symptoms. However, their behaviors can change drastically, plus they seem to have other changes that look like dementia. Ask Dr to check him for it. You may be surprised.
You should write a note to give the intake staff when you take him to the doctor and explain his change in behavior and ask about dementia. BUT, dont get your hopes up as in my experience, most doctors will believe the elder, not the caregiver. Good luck.
in the letter you write explaining his behavior, might mention that he lives with you (?) and you provide him care (?)
I don't know if it would make a difference on your behalf, if his doctor can be aware that you are the one who is taking care of your dad. how much do you do for dad? do all the driving? all meals? pay his bills? do laundry and house chores? Help w meds.? if you are doing a lot, it may help to show you're very involved in dads care.
but what are you hoping to accomplish? maybe medication for his anger? and his anger is something new? do you have any family members that have witness his behavior? do you notice him being forgetful? put it all in your letter.
I remember taking my mom to her first visit to geriatric dr.
there was a lot of facial expressions on my part when the dr. would ask my mom questions. each time dr asked question. my mom would give a untrue answer. and I would shake my head and 'mouth' nooooo.(where my mom couldn't see me do it)
but I took my mom for her dementia and not for being verbally abusive :/
Thank you, both, so kindly, for your compassion and your very useful information. I will, definitely, keep everything you have said in mind, and I will, actually, write that "Letter", as you have suggested, because I think that will really help me! I am really sad and overwhelmed by this. Of course, as in all families, there are many layers to it, (but at 90 years old), I am not about to put my Dad into "Family Therapy" (smile).
Thank You, Mincemeat, for your very quick and, may I say, sharp, response. This is the very issue I am worried about - being believed, especially with this particular Doctor. However, I did want to start there, because, I, too, had suspected some issues of dementia, and had even been counseled about this, by my own Physician. Could I mention that *My Doctor urged me to call - which is true? Do you think this will help My Dad's Doctor have more faith in what I am sharing with Him? Thanks for your kind interest. I cannot tell you how much this means.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is this new from Dad? If so, when did it start?
I'm asking because sometimes a senior will have a UTI (urinary tract infection) with no common symptoms. However, their behaviors can change drastically, plus they seem to have other changes that look like dementia. Ask Dr to check him for it. You may be surprised.
Good luck love, let us know how it goes. 🌹
I don't know if it would make a difference on your behalf, if his doctor can be aware that you are the one who is taking care of your dad.
how much do you do for dad? do all the driving? all meals? pay his bills? do laundry and house chores? Help w meds.?
if you are doing a lot, it may help to show you're very involved in dads care.
but what are you hoping to accomplish? maybe medication for his anger? and his anger is something new? do you have any family members that have witness his behavior? do you notice him being forgetful? put it all in your letter.
I remember taking my mom to her first visit to geriatric dr.
there was a lot of facial expressions on my part when the dr. would ask my mom questions. each time dr asked question. my mom would give a untrue answer. and I would shake my head and 'mouth' nooooo.(where my mom couldn't see me do it)
but I took my mom for her dementia and not for being verbally abusive :/
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/husband-with-dementia-is-verbally-abusive-189320.htm