My grandfather’s been living with my mom, sister and I since my grandmother passed away in 2017 due to cancer.
Since then we’ve had 3 bed bug infestations, all due to my grandfather bringing them in from taking care of his mother (who passed away late last year). He sleeps in a man-made room in our garage (he does have privacy since we built a wall in the garage). He’s completely independent, but does occasionally have difficulty getting around he (is over 6 foot and 330 pounds). He doesn’t see anything wrong with the bed bug infestation, even though it keeps reoccurring. We’ve tried bombing his room numerous times. We’ve even thrown out all of his old furniture and replaced it, only for it to get completely reinfested. He now sits in his chair with a spray bottle of alcohol and sprays them whenever he sees one on him.
We’ve brought up tenting the house due to him roaming throughout the house (even though he always has multiple bugs on him), and he absolutely refuses to pay for it, even though he does not have any financial issues.
We’ve been dealing with this problem for 5 years and I don’t know what to do. My mom won’t put her foot down and tell him what needs to be done to get rid of the bugs and gets upset when my sister and I tell him how mental we’re going because of the bed bug infestation.
I’m needing some advice.
I had bedbugs once, in a cheap hotel in India, and they were very uncomfortable. How does your grandfather manage to ignore them?
That being said...that's not always the case and in some cases their bites CAN get infected and can lead to other very scary types of infections like MRSA and Staph infections (although much more rare). You don't mention how old he is, and it's good that he's mobile but he's also over 300 pounds which is already a strike against him in the fact that he is going to have a lot of extra skin which also creates lots of places that infections can hide and get worse without him actually realizing it. Is there any possibility that you can possibly use scare tactics with him on the potential for infections that he's not considering?
One thought that came to mind when I read your post. Is he possibly concerned that in bringing in a contracted company to tent the house he is worried about outside eyes on him? By that I mean you mentioned that he is living in a "man-made" room in the garage. Maybe I'm interpreting that wrong, but plenty of people convert their garage to living space all the time. Do you mean it was a permitted remodel or something that you guys just did for him to live in and its not permitted as actual heated/cooled living space?
If its not actually permitted and enclosed as an actual living space, is it possible that he is worried that if you bring in someone from the outside to tent the house(as opposed to what you have been doing to date) that someone will object to the way he is living and decide they should report his living situation for some reason? I'm not saying they should - its probably perfectly nice. I'm just saying that he may be concerned that someone may object to his situation and say something that he doesn't want said and he doesn't want outsiders in the home and it may not be about money so much as having someone from the outside visiting.
Then there IS the matter of money. Depending on how old he is...no matter how much money he actually he has...he may be of the mind set that you don't spend money on things you can either fix yourself or just live with. My grandmother is like that. She has enough money to live incredibly comfortably for a long time...but she won't buy a 1/2 gallon of milk unless my mother splits the cost of it with her..and my mother is her only child and will inherit everything. She buys 1-ply Dollar Tree toilet paper if she is the one purchasing. She is incredibly frugal and that is admirable...but at the same time..she literally won't spend money on the things she actually NEEDS. It's a whole mindset. And part of it is the generation she is from. (She also won't throw most things away because she *might* need them later and almost never does)
The whole idea of bedbugs makes me itch all over. Is it possible that he also may not be able to FEEL the bites now? Does he have neuropathy and maybe doesn't feel the bites?
Sorry I know I'm all over the place but hopefully there are some thoughts in here to get you started.
Good luck!
1) scare tactics will/have never worked on him. he simply doesn’t care.
2) his “man-made” room was permitted. we had permission from our renter and it has proper AC/a heater.
3) i fear you’re right on the money-generational thing. he’s 70 years old and has always been insanely cheap unless he’s spending money on people who only come around when they need it.
4) no, he does not have neuropathy. he just stopped caring about his lifestyle after my grandmother passed away.
" He’s completely independent, but does occasionally have difficulty getting around as he is over 6 foot and 330 pounds."
So what's the plan for when Grandpa needs more help with things? Are you going to wreck your back helping to lift him?
Time for you to move and live on your own. You are 22 years old. If your mother wants to put up with her father, that's up to her. YOU don't have to.
Buy some cute things on Wayfair to decorate your apartment.
Nothing will happen until Mom decides to do something.
You are 22. Move out.
In addition, this is an unhealthy situation for all. You also have the obligation to be concerned over others beside your GF on how this infestation affects each of you.
You could contact the local APS and ask for assistance, but in my experience is that they're basically worthless.
The local County government may be able to offer some suggestions though.
Your Mom would have to ban him from the house. But I guess he uses the bathroom.
It took me constantly cleaning vacuuming taking the bed apart and reading about this stuff online. All I know is that I would wake up with bites on my arms that burned and itched like crazy. Finally, got rid of the ex and ordered new furniture and bought new rugs.
Granddad wouldn't be allowed in the home until he got his act together. I'm sorry but alcohol does not kill bedbugs.
I remember my parent's taking bedsprings outside and lighting them on fire with kerosene and then cleaning them. The mattresses were thrown out and new ones were purchased. The rooms were cleaned from top to bottom.
You have to vacuum and mop after each time granddad visits, and keep him out the areas where there are rugs and cloth furniture.
It falls to the homeowner or person who has the lease to enforce the maintenance and pest control.
The mother should get the job done, and pay for it.
Be sure to notify GF when the pest control is arriving-he will need to leave for a day.
I don't quite understand why Grandfather has anything to say about this. It's your mom's house, yes? As Send says, she is the landlord and is legally responsible to remediate the bedbug issue.
Schedule the exterminator and send GF on an errand, or to the doctor that day.
anonymous158299
Dec 2014
they havent forced the evacuation of indianapolis yet , or cinncinnatti , or cleveland , england ,
germany , australia or israel .
i still would be apprehensive about getting authorities involved tho , most are rich kids too detached from common folk to even understand the world . diotomecious earth fk ' s bedbugs up but you have to use it properly then leave it alone . if your gonna get ocd and vaccum it back up every day your wasting your time . the human hosts are the targets . isolate every bed and chair where a human spends time with the DE . then its a waiting game -- youre the bait . the bugs are going to walk thru the DE to bite you but in doing so theyre gonna die . pestmall online sells great zip up mattress and box spring cover pretty reasonably . before you zip up the mattress toss DE inside the covers . a spray bottle full of wintergreen alcohol kills bugs and eggs on contact for the occasions when you see one . you can wipe them out but it takes a couple of months . DE is just pulverized sea corral . it isnt poisonous and wont hurt humans . if you see bugs or exoskeletons inside of fluffy chairs or couches , burn the furniture . sitting it to the curb is just the wrong thing to do . dont burn expensive beds , theyre easy to protect and treat . DE is dirt cheap on ebay .
bed bugs dont travel far . they only live within about an 8 ft radius of where humans sit and sleep . they aint hangin out in the kitchen is what im sayin .
In another post, Captain says:
anonymous158299
Mar 2015
research bed bugs on this site and read every word ive ever written about them . all the pertinent info is there but its too much to keep rewriting it . you can kill them , i have .. it take a couple or three months to do it .
(mentioned online as characteristics of bedbugs) that dH could be bringing bugs from church, where many from the public sit and no one would treat for this on the upholstered chairs.
Still, there are aggressive mosquitos.
A real challenge, I will inspect and treat my home!
I will need a magnifying glass.
I wonder how dH will feel being awakened by a scream, if I find any.
Your life is being ruled by bugs and by generational / familial issues over which you have no say or control. In your place, I'd be moving out, but I understand that in these times, it's very difficult for young people to make it and you have a sister to consider. Whatever your reasons for needing or choosing to stay, you are powerless to change the family dynamics. However, you do have the power to take the reins and rid your life of parasitic lice / bedbugs. Yuck.
I recently read the fact that 1 in 5 US households were infested with bedbugs as recently as the 1950s. I'll give specific instructions that are of nominal cost further on, but I want to extend my sympathies to you; this is awful for you and your sister. Your mom is still grieving the loss of her mom, your grandmother, as is your grandfather and they're both unlikely to make any move that would upset the current living situation; you two have no control over any of this. I am certain that you and your sister are about crawling the walls while in the midst of these re-infestations and probably cringe every time your grandpa enters the house. The bedbugs are ruining what should be an enjoyable multi-generational living situation.
We had a recent outbreak of headlice in my home, likely from one of my grandkids picking them up from some kid at the playground. My adult daughter and 2 grandkids live with me, pooling our resources - as more and more families are choosing to do - and it makes for a better life for all of us. I own my 5 bedroom home and we all have security living here together.
There are similar benefits to your family living situation, it's the bugs in the balm / flies in the ointment that need to be addressed. Their bites are sources of bacterial infections and can also transmit Lyme Disease, retro-viruses, and a host of other infections that are vector-borne, as with any biting, parasitic insect.
OK, bedbugs, same as headlice: absolutely disgustingly horrible. You don't need to call in the authorities or spend 10-20k to have the house tented; you don't need to refurnish the house or use toxic chemicals to bomb grandpa's living space. We got rid of the headlice for under $200. and dealt with the re-infestations easily; no more lice, anywhere. It took a few weeks.
The product that did the trick is called Lice Killer; we bought the whole products package, but really only needed the laundry additive. (LiceKiller.com - do a copy and paste). The laundry enzyme is herbal, non-toxic, non-staining, odorless, can be used on skin, hair, carpets, any surface, and add to laundry (2 Tbls per load). It comes in 8 oz bottles and I'd buy up about 6 bottles; the cost goes down with bulk buying and you could call the very nice owner and buy a single, larger bottle for less.
Also buy some food grade, for human consumption DE from DiatomaceousEarth.com - under $10 incl shipping for a 5 lb bag. (When using DE, do not breathe the dust, causes serious lung issues and when placing under mattresses, leave it for over 24 hrs.) Also buy a few large spray bottles from the hardware store, the nozzles won't plug up from the DE (can also get both on A'zon). Add 1-2 Tbls of the laundry liquid and 1 -2 tsp DE to each bottle and top with water. Spray everything, wash everything and vacuum constantly. Fill grandpa's spray bottle with this solution too. Spray his entire space daily and his entire person, all clothing, bedding, every crack and crevice. Spray and vacuum his trail into your home. Gain his cooperation by telling him how much YOU AND SIS need this.
These herbal enzymes kill any bug and block their reproduction, the DE makes them die by slicing their exoskeleton. Just don't breathe that dust and be careful when cleaning the vacuum filter due to same.
Take hold of this awful situation and empower yourselves to improve life for your whole family. Mom can foot the bill and you and Sis can work with her to clear every inch of living space.
You've got this!
At the apartment complex I work at, we have tenants who bring in bedbugs repeatedly. The owner had to buy several special heaters at approximately $2K each to superheat the apartment in order to kill the bugs.
I hope with all my heart it's not what you fear.
My favorite part of MY BB story is that we had to get ourselves and all 3 cats out of the apartment for the second treatment. Wrangled 2 of the cats into carriers and dumped the third in the back seat. We figured we'd just drive around for the hour or so.
It had snowed that week and Brooklyn was still blanketed in a foot of snow. We stopped for slices of pizza and our uncaged cat, Dumbledore, made a break for it.
We both jumped out of the car and ran like maniacs down DeKalb Avenue in pursuit of the cat. Found him waiting in the snow at a busstop with a lot of amused folks headed to BedStuy after their shifts at nearby Brooklyn Hospital.