Okay here's my situation my mom lives in my sister's house that they rent. A couple years ago my sister passed away so now my brother-in-law and my nieces that are all grown and my mom live in the same house. I don't have room for her at my house or I would take her in. She pays rent and she buys food but they never want to take her anywhere. They yell at her, they get in her face, they don't help her at all, so I took charge of her meds, I take them to her every night, and I feed her every night. They cuss at her, they yell at her, and when she falls they don't even help sometimes. I asked her if she wants to go to a nursing home and she says no, she's not ready yet. She bathes herself, she tries to clean her room. I don't clean her room. My wife takes her to all her appointments but they keep on telling her to move out. She needs to move but she can't move. She can't afford it she's on SSI. What do I do?
This similar thing happened to a lady my mom knew. She used to take care of herself, was neat and clean, until her family moved in. After they started to live with her, she started to try to stay out all day bus riding (a few drivers would let her ride with little to no fare). I recall one time she was on the bus that was headed to her home, but she got off that bus to catch one that would take her downtown (another hour or 2 from having to go home).
Eventually her home was raided for drug activity, she lost it and it was boarded up.
Does she have any health or cognitive issues?
Is anyone her PoA?
I would talk to social services for her county to see if she could get into AL on an Elder Waiver (some states have this but you don't say what state she's currently in). She says she isn't "ready" for a nursing home but she probably only needs AL, which is not much different than moving to an apartment and a lot more social and protective. Otherwise there is Section 8 housing but it sounds like she isn't really independent anymore.
Have you actually seen your BIL/nieces actually not pick her up when she falls? Sometimes when seniors start to have cognitive decline they tell stories that are not based in reality. You need to be very sure of something before you act upon her information or accuse anyone or report anything.
If you aren't her PoA I would try to make the case of why she needs to do this. Then if she is deemed competent enough to get this done, take her for a cognitive exam so that her abilities are recorded in her medical record. Bless you for helping her and looking out for her. I hope you can find a good solution to her situation.
There are HUD apts that you pay rent by what you can afford. If she brings in 1000 a month, she would pay 30% of that. There is HUD and in my State its coming up on open enrollment time.
You cannot expect your BIL to care for his MIL and you can't subject your Mom to this abuse. Maybe APS can help her. Just out of curiosity, why can u not take her in until you find her another place?