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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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"I am caring for my mother Teresa, who is 89 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection."
"Working full time and taking care of mom."
Has she been recently seen by her primary physician? There are meds that can help but it will take time to find the right one, and for her body to acclimate to the medication. If they require her to come in person, I'd consult with the clinic to see what options there are. Others may suggest hospice, which doesn't necessarily imply end-of-life, but may be helpful since she has so many health issues.
You can also contact your county's social services to request an in-home assessment to see if she qualifies for any services. Also contact your local Area Ageny on Aging for more resources. As her care needs increase, and since she lives with you and you work full-time, you may want to consider is she qualifies for LTC. If she does, then and option would be to transitiion her to a facility and then apply for Medicaid. If you are in NY state, I think Medicaid has a 2.5 yr financial "look back" on the appliciation, and it may cover the cost of AL (which not many states do). Please explore all options before there is crisis. Eventually her care needs will overwhelm you. Then who will take care of you?
She is almost 90, so she may not be getting a whole lot of activity and she may not need a whole lot of sleep. Does she enjoy radio. An old fashioned radio at the bedside so helped my Mom. Or a tablet that you can set for her favorite kind of podcast. I guarantee them for putting ME to sleep. I am not certain I have other ideas and messing with sleep meds can cause a whole lot of trouble. Be certain she doesn't eat near bedtime as the metabolism can kickstart the systems and make one a bit wakeful. Sure do wish you luck and I think getting any kind of routine for the very old and the very young is very tough.
My MIL has stated over and over (and would attest to this in a court of law!) that she has not slept one second since I married into the family. Evidently, when DH and I were engaged, in college and working, we spent many nights up studying late....sometimes until midnight! The horrors!
She would stand at the top of the stairs and listen to 'hear' what was 'going on'. Studying, woman, we were STUDYING!
At midnight, on the dot, she'll yell down the stairs for my DH to 'take her home now, you've had enough time together for one day!' Rather than fight, (for crying out loud, we were 20 & 25, not teenagers) Dh would either hand me his car keys or run me home.
She has maintained for 47 years that due to this--she lost the ability to sleep.
Well, it's a confabulation, at best and a hurtful lie at worst. Of COURSE she's slept!
Now she is exhausted by the smallest of exertion, and at 92, we don't expect much, but she most definitely sleeps, and sleeps well. She watches TV all day long and if you drop by unannounced. she is always asleep in her recliner. She is in bed by 8 and not up again until 9 or 10 the next day. Trust me, she sleeps.
Complaining of poor sleep, or none, is fairly common. Being more active, cutting down on caffeine after, say 3 pm, keeping alert and busy during the day helps.
Any PCP can figure out a gentle drug campaign to get mom to sleep.
Clearing up the UTI and keeping it at bay should go a long ways to helping her.
I’m only 63 and there will be days I go without sleep. Usually at day 3 I am so tired I get good sleep. But on normal days it is only about 4hrs. I would like to increase to 8 hrs any advice.
Unless you have medical issues or are on medications that disrupt your sleep, trust your body. Most experts say we need at least 6 hours of sleep for the brain to 'cleanse' itself, and other bodily processes to complete well. Otherwise, length of sleep is highly individual; for myself, my body likes 7 hours and will regulate to that anytime I go to bed, tho I go to bed pretty much the same time every night. Now, when I was in severe pain and nervous system dysregulation from Cipro poisoning (Adverse Drug Reaction) I had chronic insomnia for around 3 years; it was as if I was in a completely different time zone, so I had to adapt to this new rhythm, get my sleep when it came. If mind 'chatter' keeps you awake, there are herbs that can help with that, specifically Passionflower: it soothes the brain, helps quell those racing thoughts, useful even in daytime to be functional without excess worry. Keeping a journal beside your bed can help, too; write down whatever is 'on your mind', then close the book; in other words, put those concerns somewhere rather than in your head, even if just temporarily (until you can actually do something about them when you are wide awake the next day, week, etc.) All the best.
Does she have Alzheimer’s? My grandmother had it and often went for long periods without sleep. I cared for my father who had vascular dementia. His doctor had him take melatonin and it helped him a lot.
Is her lack of sleep doing her any harm or are you being overly concerned where it is not necessary?
Is she wandering or hollering or complaining or just lying in bed not sleeping. Is she functioning in a normal manner (for whatever her current state of health)?
First check in with her primary. My mom with dementia encountered issues with not sleeping. He approved melatonin 10mg, she took 2 tylenol at bedtime for knee pain and often 1 chewable dramamine 25mg. It was the perfect cocktail for mom and she did not feel drugged in the morning. We tried to restrict her liquids after dinner.
Is your mom waking too often to use the bathroom? Is anxiety keeping her awake?
Everyone is different. Some people swear by chamomile lavender tea.
Experts are recommending 7 hours per day for best health, but everyone is different. She may be sleeping more than you think. Is she napping during the day? Some good suggestions from the other responders. Expecially try to figure out of she's having to go to the bathroom many times at night. Use incontinence supplies if she is, a disposable pad under her and disposable panties. Also, give her fluids early in the day so that you can stop giving them to her in the evening. Foods like fruits and vegetables have fluids in them. Warm milk (sweetened if she likes it better) also could help, as calcium helps sleep.
In California, there are many cannabis pharmacies that have “sleep-aid” gummies, with low levels of THC/CBD. Half a gummy before bed often helps my mom fall asleep.
You do not provide much information here to provide an accurate or potentially useful information. There are many ways to proceed although it all depends on the person - their physical and mental state (and more - emotional and psychological).
NEED TO CONSIDER?
Does your mom have dementia? what level?
Has she been medically evaluated? why? diagnosis?
How old is she?
Overall, personality, behavior?
* Exercise: swimming, yoga, weights, stretching: - what can / can't she do? - what is her mobility?
* Massage (touch is critically important) - perhaps a foot massage or a professional for a full body massage
* Music / CDs - Guided meditations
* Possibly medication needed
* Manage / deal with anxiety / stressors (what are they?)
* Diet: what is it now? When is her last meal of the day? - Does she drink coffee?
* Need for more socialization: she needs an active, reflective listener to 'get out whatever she is ruminating about in / swirling in her head - although this won't be enough. She does need this kind of support.
* There is a lot of information on the internet about sleep / disorders / remedies. Likely a combination of new behaviors / interventions are needed to change this situation (medication may work although it isn't / doesn't consider all of the above that also would contribute to optimal health).
Some people have severe (negative) reactions to Melatonin. Be careful. And, Melatonin is not to be taken on a regular basis. Check with her health care provider.
I would support the medically prescribed cannabis sleep aids with low THC. Doesn't have to be a gummy - they seem to come in all ways.
TouchMatters, to find more info regarding the writer's mother, click on the writer's name. You will see "I am caring for my mother" and hover the arrow over the word "mother". More information will pop up.
I guess you need to check with pharmacist or doctors but -- I think CBD gummies might be a great idea. They have been for me -- I've had a few decades of post-menopausal sleep problems (wake up often after 2 hours etc) and used meds for them when necessary -- and I am finding that a "sleep gummy" really works well and affects my memory etc much less when I'm awake.
I use some I'd read about in a decent article, the brand is NotPot, and the gummy has some melatonin in it as well. I plan to also try Charlotte's Web, which somebody told me about. As far as I'm concerned, these are miraculous. It's all legal where I am so no doctor involvement needed.
In addition the advice re: mother getting some exercise if possible is really important. Also about her doing anything that would use energy and tire her out somewhat, if she's able. I've seen videos where someone with dementia benefits from folding laundry, for example -- there's the concentration and also the feeling of being useful. Depending where she's at of course.
My mom (77) has insomnia from decades of working nights and Melatonin does nothing to help her sleep. She also has anxiety and her mind constantly "spins" so she rarely ever truly relaxes. Doctors are not much help because they refuse to prescribe sleep meds since they can increase risk of fall in the elderly and my mom has had 2 bone-breaking falls in the last 4 years (not related to insomnia).
No coffee, not even decaf. No alcohol. No chocolate and no carbonated drinks, which often have caffeine. A white noise machine. Appropriate medication. No action TV before bedtime. All this should help, and good luck.
I suggest light exercise walking, hot water bottle to sleep with. soft music such as classical, soft jazz or Bible reading podcasts, such as Charles Stanley or Ppl reading the Word of God. U don’t always need to take meds sometimes it’s something on her mind she’s concerned about or may need therapy and check her meds that could be a problem. Ask her what she would like. Make sure she’s eating healthy foods. No caffeine if any kind especially hrs. Before going to bed. Once in awhile a treat is good to have can’t deny everything. She may like to have a little 🐶 pup. Maybe even a massage from time to time from a massage therapist.😉
Once you start getting older ur sleep pattern changes. It’s not set in stone that something is wrong but it’s always good to check. It’s always about health physical, mental and spiritual must check all too make sure your balanced.
grilla: As your mother unfortunately suffers from dementia in the form of Alzheimer's, I cannot make a blanket statement about perhaps what may work for insomnia.. However, a sleep patch may work, but you'll have to get an okay from her neurologist. As advertising is not permitted here on the forum, I will not state any brand name. Of note is the fact that some neurologists are also sleep doctors. An individual cannot nor should not go "days without sleeping" as the person is then a FALL RISK when they are in an upright position.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"I am caring for my mother Teresa, who is 89 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, diabetes, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection."
"Working full time and taking care of mom."
Has she been recently seen by her primary physician? There are meds that can help but it will take time to find the right one, and for her body to acclimate to the medication. If they require her to come in person, I'd consult with the clinic to see what options there are. Others may suggest hospice, which doesn't necessarily imply end-of-life, but may be helpful since she has so many health issues.
You can also contact your county's social services to request an in-home assessment to see if she qualifies for any services. Also contact your local Area Ageny on Aging for more resources. As her care needs increase, and since she lives with you and you work full-time, you may want to consider is she qualifies for LTC. If she does, then and option would be to transitiion her to a facility and then apply for Medicaid. If you are in NY state, I think Medicaid has a 2.5 yr financial "look back" on the appliciation, and it may cover the cost of AL (which not many states do). Please explore all options before there is crisis. Eventually her care needs will overwhelm you. Then who will take care of you?
She would stand at the top of the stairs and listen to 'hear' what was 'going on'. Studying, woman, we were STUDYING!
At midnight, on the dot, she'll yell down the stairs for my DH to 'take her home now, you've had enough time together for one day!' Rather than fight, (for crying out loud, we were 20 & 25, not teenagers) Dh would either hand me his car keys or run me home.
She has maintained for 47 years that due to this--she lost the ability to sleep.
Well, it's a confabulation, at best and a hurtful lie at worst. Of COURSE she's slept!
Now she is exhausted by the smallest of exertion, and at 92, we don't expect much, but she most definitely sleeps, and sleeps well. She watches TV all day long and if you drop by unannounced. she is always asleep in her recliner. She is in bed by 8 and not up again until 9 or 10 the next day. Trust me, she sleeps.
Complaining of poor sleep, or none, is fairly common. Being more active, cutting down on caffeine after, say 3 pm, keeping alert and busy during the day helps.
Any PCP can figure out a gentle drug campaign to get mom to sleep.
Clearing up the UTI and keeping it at bay should go a long ways to helping her.
Good Luck.
Is she wandering or hollering or complaining or just lying in bed not sleeping. Is she functioning in a normal manner (for whatever her current state of health)?
how or why is her lack of sleep a problem?
Is your mom waking too often to use the bathroom? Is anxiety keeping her awake?
Everyone is different. Some people swear by chamomile lavender tea.
NEED TO CONSIDER?
Does your mom have dementia? what level?
Has she been medically evaluated? why? diagnosis?
How old is she?
Overall, personality, behavior?
* Exercise: swimming, yoga, weights, stretching:
- what can / can't she do?
- what is her mobility?
* Massage (touch is critically important) - perhaps a foot massage or a professional for a full body massage
* Music / CDs
- Guided meditations
* Possibly medication needed
* Manage / deal with anxiety / stressors (what are they?)
* Diet: what is it now? When is her last meal of the day?
- Does she drink coffee?
* Need for more socialization: she needs an active, reflective listener to 'get out whatever she is ruminating about in / swirling in her head - although this won't be enough. She does need this kind of support.
* There is a lot of information on the internet about sleep / disorders / remedies.
Likely a combination of new behaviors / interventions are needed to change this situation (medication may work although it isn't / doesn't consider all of the above that also would contribute to optimal health).
Some people have severe (negative) reactions to Melatonin. Be careful. And, Melatonin is not to be taken on a regular basis. Check with her health care provider.
I would support the medically prescribed cannabis sleep aids with low THC. Doesn't have to be a gummy - they seem to come in all ways.
Gena / Touch Matters
I use some I'd read about in a decent article, the brand is NotPot, and the gummy has some melatonin in it as well. I plan to also try Charlotte's Web, which somebody told me about. As far as I'm concerned, these are miraculous. It's all legal where I am so no doctor involvement needed.
In addition the advice re: mother getting some exercise if possible is really important. Also about her doing anything that would use energy and tire her out somewhat, if she's able. I've seen videos where someone with dementia benefits from folding laundry, for example -- there's the concentration and also the feeling of being useful. Depending where she's at of course.