This is not a question, it is a call to action. Having spent my entire life taking care of physically and mentally ill adults who openly and frequently admit they want to die (even when I was a child), I would choose death immediately if physician-assisted suicide were available in my country. The very sick and highly-dependent elderly are, for the most part, kept alive at great physical, emotional, and obviously financial cost to most of us merely for profit by pharmaceutical companies and institutions. Massive industries profit from pain and suffering with little incentive to permanently resolve any type of dependency, whether drugs or services. "Oh dear, what about my religious beliefs?" Apparently it is a sin to help people die: you are robbing your God of the vicious entertainment of watching the sick slowly disintegrate as mindless zombies or suffer for years in excruciating pain until their bodies give out. The concept of a judgmental God is a lie. Organized religion only exists as a means of control. WAKE UP AND TAKE YOUR LIVES BACK -- or end them. This is pointless. "What about my children?" Congratulations for forcing more life into this endless exploitative circle jerk. I hope your kids enjoy being stuck in a cycle of desperation as wage slaves OR as exploitative business leaders OR as masters of paper pushing and hopelessly competing with the Joneses even if they won't admit it. All life is pointless. This is pointless. Choke on those dirty adult diapers, diehards! A walk in a pretty park or a funny joke or cute puppy does not make up for the endlessly excruciating day-to-day nightmare of human society.
I expect assisted suicide to become more available while Medicare restricts more treatments. You won’t get your second knee replacement followed by your triple bypass followed by a solid organ removal and then four stroke operations. You may, at best, get one of those things.
Assisted suicide will eventually become encompassed in hospice as an option.
Temper
Examining one of the best and most beautiful places to live in Canada, Vancouver Island which showed increase in MAID, 7.5% compare to national average of 2.5%
While part of what you say may have a point, the bitterness you express negates all the parts that MAY be valid.
And if you think my life is pointless, or ANY life for that matter, YOU yourself have missed the point.
Have a nice day and have a nice life, if such a thing is possible.
This episode was called Death Wish; Relentless. Season 56, Episode 26.
Try to find it if you are interested. It was very thought provoking.
I had a doctor and NP at the SNF tell me how they see it daily - family members who never visit their loved one, but absolutely FREAK OUT when Grandma takes a turn for the worse after having been there for months or years. Then the family wants the doctor to "Do everything possible! Feeding tubes, dialysis, etc. so that Grandma won't die before Johnny can get here in a few weeks to say goodbye."
How many times have I seen posts here about family members who are in denial and in reality, THEY just are not ready to be sad, therefore the elderly loved one has to suffer longer! I've seen people demand their elderly loved one take chemo! Good grief. Chemo is horrible for someone young and healthy.
It is often HARD on the patient and family members to get an elderly person to their doctor appointments and so many times they have to go every single day! I was shuttling a relative to so many appointments that I deemed unnecessary - they would just take her vitals and ask how she was feeling and tell her to come back in a few weeks. She was in a wheelchair with oxygen. There was a giant tank and long hose. She was also wearing depends and was horrified that she would leak or smell while she was out and about.
Palliative care needs to be promoted more and needs to be made into a wonderful alternative.
I'm in my 50's. I'm having more and more conversations with people my age and younger who feel like I do. Our generation does NOT WANT to end up in a SNF just waiting to die and I totally get the euthanasia thing. While I would never want to take my life, I think just letting nature take course at a certain point in old age is a good thing.
…But yesterday, he had a seizure. Turned out he had a stroke, again, some days prior. There is now a heart issue to figure out.
Regardless of what he once said, he is going to try to stay alive as long as his wife remains. And even though mil told me she would not pursue advanced treatment if her cancer does come back, I suspect she will as long as he is here.
If, however, one is incapacitated and the other one has dementia, then so and his brother make the decisions. They just don’t know what they are.
I do have an issue with someone saying WE SHOULD do this, regardless of the wishes of the patient. Only the patient should have the right to decide this, no one else, and if they had directed this in some health directive I am fine with that. Even then many people would not be OK with that, I am. But only if THEY the PATIENT wanted this.
The people who think it will be disastrous may be interested to hear what’s happened here since the law was changed. Virtually nothing. The rules are very strict, and are followed without all the publicity that we had before (old men flying to Switzerland with their families, murder/suicides after finding the requested drugs on-line, religious views pushed in parliament etc). No doctors are forced to participate if they object personally. No religious funerals have been refused. No bodies buried in un-consecrated ground. No protests in the streets. Just people making their own choices about their own deaths, which usually take place very peacefully with loving family members present, the way they want it.
On the opposite side of the coin are family members keeping elders in squalor and baremy alive so they can collect their social security or other money.
Nothing is ever one size fits all when it comes to people. There are bad outcomes on both sides of this issue and other issues.
I think this person is caring for someone and sees no way out and I think there are some of us who can sympathize. Yes, there are options but not everyone is able to take advantage. You have to be under a certain income level to get any help and most people fall between the cracks. Too much monthly income but little or no savings for care. And nothing happens overnight.
I know a woman who was caring for her ALZ Mom. She had Mom in an AL but felt she was not getting the care she needed so she brought her to live with her. The woman had thermal cancer. No one to care for Mom if she died before her. The woman overdosed her Mom and then overdosed herself. So sad, both were beautiful people.
In many countries assisted suicide is gaining lots of recognition. Canada, Switzerland, Netherlands for example.
Canada has very strict approach to MAID, medical assistance in dying, only patient can decide if end of life is imminent, no family, caregiver and especially anybody with POA cannot have any input, none whatsoever.
As of March 2023 people with mental disease will be eligible as well.
Pegasos in Basil Switzerland although very strict looks at many aspects.
It is controversial as it should be, but, taking some action or forcing anybody would be wrong. Many people recover despite drs diagnosis.
OP can vent and that is her/ his right. Just the content sounds disgusting, should be removed? No, everybody is free to express their opinions just maintaining some manners. OP, get some help!
I am fully in agreement that we should have a right to die, that our final exit should be in our control and that we should be able to exit should we choose without giving an average of 30,000 to fly across the pond to do it (after very onerous paperwork indeed; read Amy Bloom recent biography of her husband's accessing the right to die in Switzerland).
This person could have titled this post any way they wished, and many have brought up this issue before, including me. This person wants foment and drama and argument, and this person got just that.
The post should be eliminated and the person should be warned that further posts such as this will result in removal from the Forum.
We can and have taken this subject up many times, whether or not it should be OUR right to die. But to make it our right to KILL??????
Ummmmmm, that's pretty sick.
Then you went bat-guano like a derailed train and became abusive. I don't need to report you for abuse because others on this thread have already done so.
You claim to have spent your entire life taking care of physically and mentally ill adults.
Someone like you should never be allowed anywhere near disabled adults, children, or even animals who need care.
Get help. You need some.
@PeggySue,
You are right. Caregiving usually has zero reward. Often times a caregiving situation does just get dumped in someone's lap and they don't know what to do with it.
No one has to work in caregiving. I'm not ashamed to say when I started out in it 25 years ago I had no skills or education to speak of and it was a job that's easy to get. As time went by and I went private duty, I stayed in it because the money was so good.
When a person is saying all life is pointless and they hope people choke on dirty adult diapers, they've lost their cotton-picking mind and should most definitely not have any person or animal left in their care.
I believe in human euthanasia. I think human beings should be shown the same mercy and compassion we will show a suffering animal that is beyond hope. Some places have it. The state of Oregon allows it. Some of the Scandinavian countries do too.
It is not for some wing-nut like the OP here to make such abusive statements though.
As for those that brought up why not euthanize babies since they use diapers too. Well a baby only for a certain time period is in diapers. That baby after 1 or 2 will graduate to using a potty. The adult in diapers will never graduate from defecating and urinating on themselves. Would any adult in their right mind want to live that way? Would they reject all life saving measures? Most would. The exception narcissists and people who fear death because they think they will be going to hell for the evil things they did on this earth.
The reality is life here is messy and messed up. You have children dying of cancer and old people with dementia living into the hundreds. You have people allowef to euthanize an unborn baby because of birth defects but we have thousands of children and adults locked away in facilities due to mental illness that makes them violent and psychotic. What's right. Whats wrong? Everyone has their own opinions.
There are so many grey areas to life. I am for forced stetilization of child abusers. Yet others say you can't do that and are against it. I am against using narcan on drug addicts who are overdosing. Others say you have to save them. That it's wrong to let them die. Who's right and who's wrong?
I dont think you should just randomly euthanize old people with dementia. But please stop with the life saving treatments. Let them pass with some dignity and stop using them as cash cows.
When the post started getting abusive and the OP started sounding like a maniac is when it stopped being okay.
1. Op clearly has been doing this as she feels there’s no choice and little reward. I bet her attitude is endemic among some caregivers including those paid to take care of strangers. We need to hear that perspective to respond to it.
2. A discussion is to be had about when and how a patient can exercise their agency in a way least traumatic to them, their caregivers, and society at large, even if their choice is to end it.
1. Anyone is free to refuse medications and treatments at any time. If we simply didn't treat a lot of today's ailments, I'm sure people wouldn't suffer as long as they do.
My own mother had CHF for years, and I believe she lived seven years longer than she probably should have. She, however, didn't feel she was suffering and wouldn't have chosen not to be treated. In fact, her dementia made her think she was 16 again, and when asked, she'd tell you she felt fantastic.
My cat developed CHF and the vet said we could drain her chest cavity and put her on Lasix -- exactly what we'd done with my mom. I declined to do that to a helpless animal, and she suffered for two days vs. Mom's seven years.
2. You need to find another line of work.
Reporting post so you can assess and decide on any actions.
I have had to euthanize pets. It is a horrific decision to have to make, and while I know it was the right one, I still suffer from guilt. I can't imagine making that decision for one of my parents, or in-laws, or spouse.
OP, if you are to the point where you are fantasizing about euthanasia for your grandfather, then, for his sake and yours, end your caregiving forthwith! You are no good to anyone, least of all him, while this rage burns in your gut!
Totally different if you as the one that has no quality of life, no awareness of self. But you can not tell me that because my Husband had dementia and he did not "know" who he was, who I was that I have to euthanize him.
(He may not have known ME but I still knew HIM)
If HE had told me prior to his illness that if he ever "got like that" that he would rather be dead then I would have some validity to look into Physician Assisted Suicide.
BUT once he became unable to carry it out himself I would NOT be able to do it. There lies the rub with Dementia and Assisted Suicide.
If I am ever diagnosed with a life limiting condition I would consider suicide. My fear would be that I would not take enough pills and would end up being more of a burden to family than I would be if I let nature take it's course.
Assisted Suicide should be legal in all States.
Doctors should be more honest and forthcoming with facts about prognosis and get over the mind set of CURE. The benefits of Hospice should be taught in Medical School. Doctors should discuss it with patients when discussing prognosis. End of Life choices should be discussed with patients LONG before the need, it should be discussed during Annual Physicals simply to get people comfortable discussing the topic.
He also taught the residents, and made sure to explain this reality to them, that this is an essential part of practicing medicine and to be a very good doctor. Interestingly, they voted him teacher of the year-twice.
Be clear in your living will exactly what you want for your end of life. That helps everyone.
The OP is either a troll or has a lot of problems that really don't belong here. We're going through enough as it is as caregivers, no need to make it worse.
THEREFORE, I gotta hang around long enough to watch as many things, good and bad, as possible, AND LEARN FROM THEM.
I appreciate your perspective, deadinside, but it isn’t one I share.
My mother had MCI and spinal stenosis. Even in her final days when she couldn't move around much, she was still living and impacting those around her. Her great-grandson, only 6 at the time of her death, doesn't want his train table removed from her bedroom; he still goes in there to play saying he still feels like she's there. A little boy who lives reading because she read to him nearly every day for years. Who loves music because Mom and I frequently sang the songs my mom sang when working when I was a child. A little boy who still says out of the blue "I miss Grandma".
Their final years were worth while; they felt so and so do I, the person who carried by largest burden of their care.
I do not disagree with assisted suicide for certain medical conditions, provided the person agrees while competent. Death by cancer and some other diseases can be unbelievably cruel. But wholesale euthanasia for old age; NO!!!