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My mom fell, was hospitalized, and is going to rehab. It might be weeks before discharge. It took years to find an “independent” caregiver. Previously, she took care of our doctor’s grandmother. She comes highly recommended, is trustworthy, but also very $$$$. I’m afraid to be left with no one when mom is discharged to home, but she of course wants to be paid to stay on. What to do??? Has anyone else been in this situation?

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If your intention is to bring your mother home, allow the aide to start with daily visits to the facility. She can be of great help to you and your mom during rehab.And transitioning whether it is to home or another facility. Allow her to work the same number of hours you were originally contracting for. Let her do moms laundry. Ask her to keep notes on what goes on at the rehab. She will become a familiar and welcomed face if she is there through it all.
I did this with my DH aunt who is now in a NH but I didn’t want to lose her aides and I didn’t know at the onset what would happen. She actually still has one of her private aides who works for the hospice company we use. It has been a win-win for my family.
To me, your mom will be much better cared for if you add the aide now and you will have great support. I assume your mom has good insurance and mom won’t be out more money than she would have been if the hospitalization hadn’t happened.
Also, a good private aide can be difficult to find. She needs her income just as you or I would.
It is a unique opportunity to have an aide plugged in from day one and can set the stage for an ongoing good relationship.
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It took YEARS????
Are you able to afford it?
If the answer to both these questions is yes, then I would HAPPILY pay to keep her. I would tell her to consider herself on paid vacation while Mom is in rehab. If Mom comes out of rehab in the meantime your well rested and very happy and willing caregiver will be waiting.
Not everyone can afford to do this. If you CAN, I think it a wonderful expenditure to make "good" happen.
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Sendhelp82 Jul 2022
I think your perspective is a good one! My mom is blessed that she can afford to have a caregiver at home. My parents always planned that if the funds were there, they would age in place at home. We kept our eyes and ears open for the last couple of years to find a caregiver who was someone that someone has known. We eventually got lucky. Thank you for your advice. Blessings
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It does not have to take weeks of Rehab. Did she break anything? Its it just a matter of some PT to strengthen her. I was told for every day in the hospital its 3 days of therapy. If just to get her strength back, can you have in home PT with the aide helping with exercises in between PT visits?

When Mom was in rehab after a UTI itt was just to get her strength back. I told them there was no money after the 20days Medicare paid for. She was discharged in 18 days.
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Sendhelp82 Jul 2022
Thank you for your input. Amazingly she did not break Anything! Unfortunately she got quite sick the next day (even throwing up blood). Her long hospital stay was due to her gastric trouble. She was in just over a week, and luckily enough the bleed resolved itself. So 21 days should put her back on her feet! Thank you so much. Good luck to you and your loved ones!
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I was in this situation a few years ago. I am an only child, so for me it was worth paying the caregiver to come sit with my dad in rehab, do his laundry, run any errands etc to keep her on, and then she seamlessly moved into caregiving him once he was back home. I did work out a reduced pay schedule for the 2 weeks he was in rehab. But it helped me and my dad both.
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Sendhelp82 Jul 2022
Thank you so much for the advice! I have talked to her caregiver, and she and I will work out a schedule to be there for my mom while she is in rehab. Good health to you and your loved one!
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This is exactly what happened in our case. My father fell and had to go to the hospital and started rehab. Our caregiver is through an agency so it's costly but we didn't want to lose her. And we owe her a lot for how she's cared for my father. We decided to have her keep her regular hours and asked her to visit him in the hospital. It was quite a distance from dad's house so we gave her money for gas as it's so expensive. Unfortunately, his head injury was too serious for him to continue with rehab so he's home now on 24/7 care and she's on one of the shifts.

If your mother can afford it, you might consider having her stay with your mother through hospital and rehab. Most places are understaffed and she can keep her eye on any less than acceptable care. It made me feel less anxious about him being in a clearly understaffed facility.
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Sendhelp82 Jul 2022
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It’s so hard to see our parents age, and then to have such complications is such heartbreak. Thank you for your advice. I think we are realizing we should do the same as you did in your situation. It’s not worth losing a good caregiver that you trust and have bonded with. Thank you!
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It will be worth it to keep her, so for the time being I would mostly let her consider it a paid vacation ( think of all the jobs out there where employees are offered this- caregivers who are caring for our loved ones should definitely be afforded the same appreciation) perhaps have her visit there several times and be plugged back into action when it’s getting close to the time your mom will be getting out so she can be in the loop of info for as smooth a transition back as possible.
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2022
It's not a paid vacation if she still has to visit and and/or if she has to remain at the client's house to watch the place and keep up on it..
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Having her spend time with your mom in rehab not only gives your mom private help and eyes it will give them time to bond prior to going home which could be a real advantage. It may help the transition home and home exercises and PT go more seamlessly and continue too. While it does seem like an unnecessary expense I can tell you it’s a luxury I would splurge on if we could swing it!
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I have been in a very similar situation but without help lined up. Do whatever it takes to keep the help! As they say, good help is hard to find. Actually it is near impossible.
although your loved one is in rehab, she will need support there. Even great rehab locations are short on help. You need constant eyes on your mom to ensure she gets proper care. If no one shows up to check you can’t assume care is doing everything needed. When my dad was in rehab someone went every day. Once he got meds meant for someone else. Or another patient kept going in his room looking for his wife. Things happen and you will need help.
I agree that keeping the help on is a luxury but it will help you sleep better at night.
best wishes
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bundleofjoy Jul 2022
i agree with all you say!
:)

by the way:
"Once he got meds meant for someone else."

awful!! scary, they make such mistakes!!
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with it beings so hard to find a good reliable person, I would continue to pay her. The hospital and rehab costs should be covered by insurance, and the caregiver can go to the hospital and be there with mom. Believe it or not, having someone keeping an eye out in the hospital and rehab is important. Patients get better care if the staff knows that someone is watching. I am speaking from real experience as both a professional who worked in the field, and a former patient.
I am 88 and fell and broke my hip. It was replaced during Covid. The month in rehab was so bad that I wrote a review in Yelp of the nursing care. The post was read by the marketing people, and several were terminated. If I had been able to have my caregiver, I would not have received such treatment that I had no way to stop until I remembered Yelp on the internet. Mom will appreciate the extra attention to her care.
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Mhillwt Jul 2022
Im amazed that you got better with a broken hip in rehab during covid - you must be incredibly strong or incredibly lucky! My 89 yr old father(very very active) broke his hip and had it replaced and was in rehab for 6 weeks(still walking a bit with walker but not much) and got a UTI from catheter and it went to his heart and he became septic.....took me 9 days to convince rehab that he was really ill and needed to go to hospital...once their they told us he had MRSA endocarditis(and a bedsore)...he stopped eating and drinking and was delirious and agitated, crying, etc - wanted to come home.....we had to wear gowns, masks and gloves to see him(summer of 2018)......they wanted to transfer him back to rehab with a catheter,picc line for 8 weeks of antibiotics, put in a feeding tube and hope for the best - i knew he would suffer more even if eventually maybe he would have been healed(drs said its a very hard infection to treat)...i chose hospice and once they started meds - he was unconsious and gone in 3 days - i still have guilt with this decision since it felt like euthanasia - i was just so afraid he would suffer more.....
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If you continue to pay her, get her to go sit at the rehab with mom. Always best to have observation of mom's care in any kind of facility. Pay attention to the meds mom gets, if her personality changes that might indicate urinary infection, etc

Hard to find good help, so if there's a way to keep her - do it. You might even offer her a lower flat rate per week that lets her off the hook for working, but ensures she comes back when mom released....and get a contract signed to whatever is agreed to.
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My family was in a similar situation 16 years ago. We had a wonderful live-in caregiver for a few months when my 89-year-old mother was diagnosed with West Nile fever. Mother was hospitalized and in a nursing home from the end of September to the middle of January. My sister and I chose to pay her until our mother returned home. She stayed in mother's house for those months. She went to the hospital and or rehab center to be with my mother on a daily basis. Mother recovered and lived for another 1-1/2 years. We were never sorry that we did this. My sister and I are still in touch with this wonderful caregiver. She is now retired but still part of our family.
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bundleofjoy Jul 2022
sooo nice to read that there are good people (good caregivers who are genuinely kind, loyal).
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The real questions are IF mom can come home and WHEN mom can come home. If she has COVID, she will need to stay either in the hospital or at home for 10 days before any facility will accept her as a client. Check on your mom's progress in the hospital and ask to speak to physical therapist about their assessments regarding how soon they think mom can be able to be home with a caregiver. If they won't give you an answer or dodge answering, you might be wiser to let the caregiver go... since it would appear she is not going to get better at moving.
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If you pay for her, then she should show up to the rehab daily to do nice things for your mom: bathing (if that's permitted), painting the toe nails, reading, shopping, chatting, playing games or anything else your mother wants or needs. Otherwise, rent her services out until mom is home. Everything should be up for discussion and compromise.
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Myhillwt, wanted to respond to your reply to Jean.

Anytime a LO is in Rehab, you have a right to call an ambulance and have them taken to the hospital. Rehabs are not skilled nursing. Yes, an RN should have seen that something was wrong. Rehabs are not prisons.
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Mhillwt Jul 2022
I know but they kept telling me for 9 days they were treating a uti and it would be disruptive to move him etc… on day 9 I did a forced exit w dad against medical advice
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Just FYI
Sendhelp82
and Sendhelp
are NOT
the same person.
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Sendhelp82: If this caregiver remains 'on the clock,' so to speak, she can go to the rehabilitation facility and help mom daily.
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2022
The caregiver's job was to be a live-in that provides care to the client in the home.
Not in the hospital. Not in the rehab. In the home. She should visit her but the hospital and rehab have their own staff that cares for their patients.
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A good caregiver is a keeper, for sure.
Can you negotiate a paid vacation now until MOM is discharged from rehab?

You will still be paying the caregiver, but vacation pay. That way, she will have already had her vacay this year. And you won't need to pay her again for time off.

Is that fair? Wondering.
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2022
Send,

If the OP is getting paid legal on the books then she can collect unemployment compensation while her client is in the hospital and rehab facility.
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The decision to keep her or not, relies on the fact of how much money do you want to spend and how much work you would like to do just before your Mom is discharged.

You didn't say whether you have used her before or not. If you have and you like her, pay for her while your Mom is in rehab. If rehab allows it, put her as an official visitor and have her take care of Mom within the limits of the rehab hospital.

If you haven't used her before, you can pay her to go to the rehab hospital and find out whether she and your Mom get along. If they don't, then you will know right away.

If you haven't used her before, you can choose to let her go, then have the hassle of trying to find someone close to when your Mom leaves the hospital.

My gut tells me to pay her and have her work with your Mom at the rehab. If your Mom doesn't like her, at least you will have warning that you will need to find someone else for Mom to move out.

Good luck with whatever decision you make!
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We always have so not to loose them, but make sure they are at the hospital & rehab daily to be your eyes and ears. Allow them to stay at the home. Great time to Spring clean
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2022
Does being at the hospital and rehab every day also include full wages?
If it doesn't then the caregiver should not do it. The live-in is hired to provide the care in the client's home. Not in the hospital or rehab. They have their own staff for that.
When did heavy-chore 'Spring cleaning' become part of the live-in caregiver's job description? That work is different than the usual light housekeeping live-ins usually get asked to do.
Does that come with an increase in wages?
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You will be left with no one if you let her go. Is the private caregiver supposed plan her life and livelihood based on whether or not she'll be paid by you? If you expect her to wait for your mother, then she deserves to be paid for her time. If she agrees to stay on for your mother, she isn't looking for other work.
If the care plan is for your mother to return home after rehab and not permanent placement in a care facility, then negotiate with her live-in caregiver.
Discuss paying her a sort of retainer like a lawyer or put her on half-pay wages. She will stay at mom's house and keep the place maintained for when she comes home. You will pay the household bills. The caregiver can do her own grocery shopping.
When mom returns home the caregiver will go back on full-time regular pay.
If the hired caregiver is legal and being paid on the books, then she can file for unemployment benefits while her client (your mother) is in the hospital and rehab facility.
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Keep in mind that the caregiver also has the right to move out, seek fulfilling work elsewhere, at any time during this change in her duties and income.
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In some situations I think risk/ benefits analysis.
So good caregiver, trustworthy etc. assuming your Mom likes her.
Risk, can take forever to find somebody, as the current employment situation is good indicator.
Benefits would outweigh the risk, especially if independent caregiver, lets say you pay $25-30 per hour, agency will cost $40, and stress of looking for somebody for month, two?
Unless situation with Mom will be longer than few months?
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If you end up paying to keep her, can you give her some jobs to do, sitting with your mother in the hospital, observing the rehab, taking her to rehab? Perhaps she can also help prepare your mom's home for when she returns. All the best to you and your Mom.
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We paid my dad’s very good and valuable helper when he was hospitalized. It was well worth it to keep her
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Yes - that situation is fairly common. See if you can work out a mutually agreeable schedule for her to work some hours in the hospital and rehab so that she is providing extra care for your mother but you are not having to pay her for her regular schedule. Perhaps she will be willing to accept fewer hours in return for a little unpaid time off to do things she needs/wants to do or perhaps she will agree to a lower rate during this time. If not, you have a tough decision. That is a lot of money to pay for someone who is not actually providing service. Hopefully, she can/will work with you.
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