I been visiting my grandmother at the skilled nursing facility. Today's visit was off to a good start. She was good with the nurses and ate her lunch she was telling me she needed more clothes so I left and went back to her house and filled up a garbage (big) bag full of clothes and two pairs of shoes she keeps insisting of buying clothes and I have to tell her you have a lotta clothes being the QVC stuff that I'm still getting rid of. Bringing her clothes helps me since I already have several boxes left to donate to Goodwill soon. I return and labeled the clothes since the facility is going to wash them. After a while I was going to leave but insists she wants to go with me and that she couldn't find me for two weeks??!! I was puzzled I have been there but go when I'm off from work. I had to get a nurse to explain she needs to stay but won't listen. If they are going to let her go out with me since she will be allowed to with doctors permission once they train me with a wheelchair she may try to stay at the house and not return which I could get in trouble. These visits are getting intense. For the guardianship once I get it, I have to visit the person to report to the judge as an update. How many visits should I make- once a week, once every two weeks or once a month??!!
One caution, since she is being stubborn about going home, it’s not a good idea to take her out. You’ll have a heck of a time getting her back. She will then be upset for days and give the staff a hard time. Not a great scenario. I couldn’t take my mom out. She would have anxiety attacks once she was back and wind up in the ER.
i kept my mom’s wardrobe down to enough for one week. Her closet was small. Even labeled a lot of the stuff disappeared. Overstuffed closets are hard for the staff to handle. Is she still ordering from QVC from the nursing home? Gosh, that has to stop. There’s not enough room and/or money. Cancel her credit card if you have to.
When you return bring the items she wanted. When she asks you for a few more things bring them the next time you come. Unless it is something VERY important there is no need to return the same day. It puts a lot of stress on her as well as you.
When you leave make sure she is occupied with something, a game, a project, watching TV or settled down to lunch or a nap. This way when you leave it will not be the first thing on her mind.
Find out how laundry is done. Picked up and washed everyday, done by room once a week. If done everyday, clothing seems to circle around every three days. Like Ahmijoy said, a week of clothes is enough. I am OCD, I matched Moms outfits and put them on the same hanger. After Moms bra was forgotten, I started putting one on the hanger too. (daughter explained that the aides dress from the top down ending with socks and shoes. Moms bras were in with the socks. My Mom could not have skin on skin or she broke out in a rash) I suggest to keep the seasonal clothing at your home changing out when the weather starts to change. I used under the bed boxes. I took pictures of everything I took to the NH. If something went missing, I brought it to the laundry's attn. I have found things in the roommates closet. I would not give away all her clothes. Keep some for when things get lost, wore out or stained. Ask the NH if they would like the donations. There are residents that have no family or money. The PNA does not meet all their personal needs. And I was told that there are clothing salesman that come in but they charge more than the item is worth. The $50 a month residents are allowed doesn't go far.
I agree with Ahmijoy, don't take Mom back to her house. Your Mom has Dementia, she is not going to remember when you were there. Her days just run together and she has no conception of time. How often you visit depends on how far away you are and how convenient. This is a question for your lawyer. But actually, I thought the state was in charge of guardianships and only request info once a year. Bet there are guardians ad litem who don't see their wards all that often. Mom was in the AL, 5 min away, I stopped in for 15 to half hour everyday unless we had something else going on. When she ended up in a NH a town away, 15 min. drive, I went every other day. Early on in her dementia she would sarcastically say "Well its nice seeing you again". Like I hadn't seen her in ages and I was there the day before.
Just FYI, you know guardianship costs can come out of Moms money. Medicaid allows this. If Mom has a phone in the facility, I would conveniently lose it if she is still calling in for QVC.