URGENT: I just found out that a dear friend is at her wits end with her parents who are both citizens of the USA and permanent residents of Brazil. Her parents have been living in Brazil for the past 20 years where her father worked until he retired. Stupidly, her father did not report his income to the IRS and therefore did not pay a dime into Social Security. Her parents get $300/month from Brazil's pensioner system because her father did pay taxes in Brazil. They own an apartment in Miami and they own an apartment in Brazil. Neither apartment is worth very much and, if sold, might raise $200,000 total.
Her mother has Alzheimer's and her father has Parkinson's. Her parents are begging her to bring them to Florida where she lives. She has asked me for advice and I am meeting her this evening for a drink and just want to make sure I give her the best advice I can.
I see no way for her parents to be eligible for Medicare, Medicaid, or Social Security. But that's about all I'm sure of! Any other suggestions???
When someone asks for but ignores advice, then asks for monetary help, that puts a real strain on friendship. But it also is an indication that "once ignored", perhaps ignored in the future.
You would have no control over how any donated funds are spent. And if she and her sister aren't wisely marshalling the available assets, the request for donations could be an ongoing thing, in perpetuity.
I hope you feel justified and relieved by your decision.
I credit you for your compassion. You have a very kind soul.
My neighbor needs a liver transplant. How did I find this out...on FB. Someone else started a go fund. This woman has a State pension and SS. Her husband a good pension, SS and was called back to work at 68. This means he can earn as much as he wants and no SS penalty. His employer provides the supplimental. They own their house and one at the shore.
Owning two homes, o n e in each country, flying back and forth to visit, selling the one condo, having another home to sell. (That would make about $400 k in assets to get them out of trouble with the IRS? Then occuring the normal processes of aging, her husband dying (sad), does not make an urgent pitiful case to beg for money on a gofundme site, imo.
NYDil, My heart goes out to you as you are being conned by a friend. Friend does not need your help, and will not be taking your advice in the future. Detach from them all, doing it with love. I just hate that you have been used. Do you think you have?
Sorry if I missed some things in the middle, reading the first and the last only.
Hoping you are ok, with your good heart for others.
Alzheimers is a terrible disease, not amenable to being funded, as there is no cure.
You can be an American citizen and be a legal permanent resident in another country also. That does NOT make you a citizen OF that country. It means you have the legal right to live there permanently. (I am an American citizen but I have a "green card" (a permanent legal resident of Mexico). I could take the test for citizenship and, if I passed, I would then have dual citizenship.
The mother with Alzheimer's can go back to Brazil and live there again, since she is a legal permanent resident (it doesn't expire). Usually, you have to live in a country for 5 consecutive years to qualify for LPR status. It sounds like it may be the only other choice she has if her children can't afford her care and the U.S. government won't pay.
It's not your problem anymore. Don't get sucked in.
Oh yes, Countrymouse, there have been two email requests to my husband and me and at least one to other friends whom we happen to know well.
From where I'm sitting, the poor (as in destitute) old mother should have been installed at the nursing home in Brazil because of her Alzheimer's. The daughters regularly flew to Brazil to visit, which would have been cheaper - and safer for all concerned - than bringing her to the US where they have no resources to support her.
Both daughters work - my friend makes more than her sister - but not enough money to pay for a nursing home or to pay for daily in-home help. And my friend has some serious health issues herself. I don't know what she was thinking when she reversed course.
I do understand her dilemma; if this were my mother, I don't know if I could leave her in a foreign country. I guess I'd try to find a way to bring her home.
But to set up a GoFundMe page - well, to me that's really gutsy.
(I think this GoFundMe business has gotten out of hand.)
NYDIL, I am sorry that the situation turned out so poorly, but you've done as much as you can. I wouldn't feel obligated to contribute.
Is the husband working? Is your friend working?
It's sad that it turned out so poorly; seems like the death of the father might have changed the dynamics of the situation.
I hope your friend manages to find some way to get the assistance she needs, not necessarily just money, but actual care.
Has she contacted the Brazilian embassy? Brazilian groups? I know there are some in NYC b/c I watched a dance program (Bare Feet) on Brazilian style dancing. Maybe one of those groups could offer some help to your friend.
My friend's father died suddenly last month while she was in Brazil preparing to move her parents to a nursing home she found in a quiet little Brazilian town and to pay for it with the money she raised from selling their condo in Miami. Then, she and her sister decided to MOVE THEIR MOTHER TO THE UNITED STATES!
Yes, friends, their mother with Alzheimer's boarded a plane and now is living with my friend's sister, who has an infant, and her husband, whose useless, and now they all got together and started begging for money through email and Facebook. The GoFundMyPoorDecisions requests have become uncomfortable.
I cautioned her many, many times against bringing her parents/mother to the U.S. because her father did not pay taxes. I told her nursing homes are expensive and that her parents would not qualify for Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid. I told her as many of the things I have learned from the wise people on this forum throughout the years and it turned out I wasted my breath, time, and energy. Sigh. Whine. Sigh.
Do you know when your friends parents had purchased the condo? I wouldn't be surprised if it was back when they were U.S. citizens prior to moving out of the country. Or did they buy the condo as non-citizens? That a different ball game.
Anywho, the IRS will be involved as the Foreign Investment in Real Property Tax Act of 1980 is a United States tax law that imposes income taxes on non U.S. persons disposing of homes in the United States.
This is not a DIY project.
How much contact and how close has your friend been over the years? Have her parents ever expressed concern about political instability or something similar?
And I really would think twice, and 3 - 4 times before selling the condo just yet.
Just thought of another option, in responding to the resurrected thread on oxygen. It's the Hill Burton Act, which mandates through federal statute that hospitals and facilities built with HB funds care for certain levels of indigent people. I don't know whether it would apply to US citizens who've lived out of the country for 20 years, but at this point it's worth a try.
http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/hill-burton_act_free_healthcar.html can provide more information.
“Begging her to bring them to Florida where she lives”. Oh boy....