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My mom is at end of life. Kidneys are failing, yet one minute she can’t even roll over in bed or raise up and then at 2 am this morning she got herself out of bed by time I got to her room and she had strength enough to almost literally fight me. Grabbing my arms and squeezing them. Yelling cursing. She hasn’t been able to walk in 2 weeks, we have been getting her up and sitting her in seat of her walker and rolling her in and out of bedroom to living room. Feet have been swelled the size of a cantaloupe. Hospice nurse says she’s in congestive heart failure. She has stage 4 cancer. Been on hospice for 8 months.
am I losing My mind???!!???? How and where did this strength come from!???!

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Here is an article on "End of Life rallying"

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/when-loved-ones-rally-before-death-185452.htm

I would call the Hospice nurse; it might also be a uti.
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Herdaughter54 Dec 2021
@barbBrooklyn
i have notified the nurse of her behavior. She told me she’d be here as early as she could get here this morning. Thanks for the article link. I did Read it. I somewhat Understand the “rally”. Just not sure if this is a rally. If so, it scared me to death. My momma was mean and agressive and the strength she had while trying to literally fight me is unexplainable. Maybe it is a UTI. Not really sure. I had To call my brother to come over because i couldnt Settle her down. Once he got here, she calmed down. Told him i had Lied that i was Being mean to her. I’ve always been told dying people lash out at the ones closest to them. I just Don’t know if i can Mentally handle much more. I do Think her time left is very very short and near. Have even wondered if she’s just holding on till Christmas for one more holiday with us. Nurses says she’s no where near transitioning as of yesterday but i feel She is. I feel They do t see her as much as i do And see the signs i see They only see clinical signs. Thanks for your words. I really Just needed someone to talk to. God bless
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Big (((((hugs))). We are here for you. This is so hard.
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Wow. That's a lot to deal with. Is there a chance your bother might be able to come over more-as comfort to your Mom?
I took care of Mom with end stage cancer, and that never happened to her-the sudden out burst of energy. She would start talking about stuff, random words, sentances, seeing things, people that weren't there. I looked at the calendar she kept and she had written that my sister was going to visit in a few weeks. Sister lived in California. Didn't think much of it, as Mom was rambling on about stuff and didn't want to upset her by asking about that. So....I know Mom is ready to die. Call my sister, saying it's really important she come out, I think the end is here. Which is was. A few days later, I look at the calendar and the date Mom had written was the day my sister came out. I asked my sister about-she had no clue, never mentioned to Mom any traveling.
Anyways, talk to your Hospice nurse, mine was great. They should be able to walk you through what to expect as someone is getting ready to die.
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That happens all the time, that Spurge of energy.

For your mom's swollen feet, just rub them with organic coconut oil and always keep the feet elevated. It worked wonders for my 97 yr old dad.
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It is a common 'rally' as 'the end' approaches, and it's truly amazing, isn't it? When my mom's happened it made me realize Life Force is very strong, and tho all lives end, it was wonderful to witness that beautiful energy like 'just one more spurt of living life.' It's almost like a 'finale'...a last expression of the person; my mom was dying of COPD and a stroke, no longer verbal, bedridden, when one day she sat up in bed, communicated as if she was 'clear as a bell' again even if speaking was not clear, even had appetite, and then died the next day. Remember how good it feels to simply feel Better after feeling under the weather? Imagine a spurt of vitality when one is clearly declining...it's a gift, in a way. Revel in it, for both of your sakes. A last Hurrah.
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sp19690 Jan 2022
If the last expression of this woman's mother was her fighting her and cursing its not exactly a beautiful thing. More like a nightmare.
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You may laugh at my source, but Grey's Anatomy called this "The Surge"; it's a real thing. My mom experienced something similar when she was in her nursing home years ago - I thought she was getting better, but it's just her body having one last "hurrah".

I'm sorry you experienced this... it's difficult and confusing, but a part of the process.
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Cover99 Dec 2021
Sort of like rigor mortis?
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Herdaughter54: Imho, oftentimes an elder who is approaching EOL will rally for a short duration.
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sounds like she hasnt come to terms with her impending death.
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If she is afraid... and it seems like she was during this episode, adrenaline will kick in and give her short-term strength.
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Hospice gave my mother comfort meds and it sedated her.
Is that a possibility for your mother?
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My partner's dad was in a home doing really well. He sometimes got confused on visits. One Sunday on our visit he was smartly dressed & had a lovely blue & yellow tie on. It was so vivid. He was speaking clearly & understood everything. He even sang a song. He turned to me & said keep an eye on him meaning my partner. I said I will laughing. Thinking he doubts his son as my partner was always having things go wrong with his business.
On the following Thursday he had a bad tummy & had to go to hospital. My partner phoned me & said it's not looking good. I couldn't believe it as he was well & so happy. On the Saturday he passed away. I had wanted to get in a car on Friday & drive miles to be by his side but my partner didn't want to go as he had work. His brother was with his dad. I was upset but now looking back I saw the best of my partner's dad at the end. So I always have that happy memory of a happy smartly dressed man singing away just how he used to be.
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