Parent has new trustee who is wanting all medical records and wanting keys for lock boxes thsat has nothing important for them and remove me from parents checking acct and took over the acct when after my parent said she wanted me on acct.trustee is wanting parents credit cards and has told grand child that grandparent not allowed to come home even though adult grand child live with trustee stated not going to be allowed to be alone, removing parents belonging from home to "take " to ALF when room available,took medication away stated "taking too much" should be awake during the day " states " does not need that much" but all medicne is priscribed by doctor with safe amounts and keeps asking me for insurance papers which I have told her she has all of the stuff she needs now wanting more paperwork (for what no clue) and listens to phone calls,so parent has no privacy and isn't allowed to go home except to get things and let trustee go through drawers and files for what ever she wants to look for and then takes home things she gave to parent before stating going to take to ALF but room at ALF is only 324 sq. ft so space is a premium and parent is not going to want a bunch of stuff to put up on walls and doesnt have sheves for all niknaks would love to know how I can stop this, limited funds myself so cant afford lawyer but any advice would be great
We have a conservator that is trying to put together a budget of sorts, but she has omitted vital information, such as monthly income and contribution to household expenses by a spouse. Why so much incomplete information? Because conservator is lazy!
The trustee is your step sibling, is that correct? And do I further gather that there are, um, longstanding issues between your step-parent's children and your parent, or your parent's children, or both?
What outcome of all this are you hoping for?
Apparently there is a good reason the parent is now going into a nursing home. The fact you are complaining about room for *knick knacks* tells me there is a lot more this story.
By the way, the more a relative interferes with the Trustee, the more it is going to cost in administration fees to answer all the complaints.
You have absolutely no power. Doesn't even sound like you're related. Know when to fold 'em, I say. You've said nothing that indicates this trustee has anything but the best interests of the person at heart.
Too bad about the knick-knacks.
It just strikes me as suggestive that at no point, it seems, did your parent attempt to get you involved. Yet plans were made, arrangements put in place. Were you estranged? Were you abroad? Were you at daggers drawn with the now deceased spouse?
I am very uncomfortable to have formed this suspicion, even, but from what you have told us it does sound as if you have arrived rather late on the scene and are more concerned about your own - perhaps your generation of your part of the family's own - interests than in your parent's.
And equillot: the trustee does not have a right to decide whether or not the person should take prescriptions, but he or she does need to know what they are. And given the context, with feelings running high and perhaps immoderate views being exchanged, it isn't surprising (though I agree it isn't ideal, either) that the caregiver of whatever description is anxious to keep track of contact with the vulnerable person.
Mustang, please go and sort yourself out and come back to us with a coherent account of what has happened, who is fulfilling exactly what role, and above all what you are aiming to achieve. Nobody blames anybody on this site for feeling heartsore, angry and hard done by by their diverse and complicated families. But what matters is a) the wellbeing of your parent and b) peace of mind for you. Please do come back. And I apologise in advance if I have misunderstood.
I also go to all of Mom's medical appts and manage her meds, but I do that because I'm her caregiver, not because I'm trustee (right now, Mom is still trustee, I will only take over when she can't, but I'm well aware of the duties).
Keep copies and document everything you hand over. It may not be easy to catch an untrustworthy trustee and get them removed and/or prosecuted, so in case that's what's happening, make sure you give yourself a fighting chance.
And, at the same time, make sure your reasons for suspicion are well founded. The sheer number of papers that may be needed just to process a Medicaid application can be overwhelming. I don't think I found "all" the important papers in my mom's house for a couple of months, and had to do a bunch of online research and phone calls as well, and stop several minor league scams that were sucking significant dollars on a monthly basis. And, someone does need to bring stuff to them to make the assisted living apartment nice and homey and full of good memories, that is absolutely legit.
So the bottom line is - be careful - be watchful - document - BUT don't interfere with things that really need to be done!