My husband has mid-stage Alzheimer's. He is very social and is able to be alone for short stretches, although he is most comfortable when "velcroed" to me. He does not wander, and has no combative or aggressive behaviors. We loved to travel in pre-Covid days, and I would like to resume travelling for as long as he is able. Would a cruise be a good choice for us?
My husband also did not wander for the longest time but a switch suddenly turned on recently and he walks around the car and then away from it. He also loves people and lost his filter about putting his hands on strangers, not inappropriately but too quickly. He also touches service dogs that have clear "don't touch" signs on them. He wants to hug everyone. And he recently started to stare at children too. These are all suddened new behaviors.
I need so much to get the heck away but, and this may sound cruel, what fun is it to still have to caregive on a vacation, I'll need a vacation after the vacation and worse what sense does it make to spend money for two when only one will remember it. No, really, am I not seeing this right?
If I had a child with special needs I'd most likely go. If I had a family and in consideration for the other children and husband I would easily take a trip. But as for myself it would be too much work just he and I.
Anyway, there are several agencies that provide special needs vacation plans. My support group had cruises before Covid with the staff and entertainers on ship prepared to accommodate the travelers.
Could you possibly go with a friend or bunch of girlfriends.
I wish you well, and bon voyage.
Once you are shipboard, the issue of incontinence is not a big one because you have a really good sized one in your stateroom. Of course, you still have to deal with the crowd at the pool but you can always relax deck side in one of the chairs and just socialize. He will love the very social dining experience! You might want to check with his PCP first to see what would be an option for possible seasickness.......... just in case. You can't always predict the motion of the ocean.
Peace and good sailing to both of you!
One family chose to go to the beach and have a private picnic instead of a cruise one day, followed by visiting a waterfall a couple of days later. Two days after that they visited a park with a big water feature and then for a private boat ride in the shallow pond, followed by a visit to a fish pond filled with beatiful Koi, then into the butterfly gardens. All were short trips that could be cut short so they could go home if things got too much. Three times they had to leave for home because it was too much of a change even two days apart. Perhaps have someone stay with your hubby and you take a cruise. Invite someone along. I'm sure you need a break and certainly deserve it! His cruising days are over i'm afraid. You've been warned.
Good luck to you !
I hope this helps you.
If you set it up with outs you can eliminate some of the issues mentioned so pick a cruise that makes enough stops in places you can get off and fly home from if need be or is just short enough to be able to manage for the first try. Also maybe think about going with another couple he is comfortable and familiar with, maybe you had a couple you traveled with over the years and are good friends with or maybe a married child and their spouse. This way some of the companion time can be shared and you aren’t the only familiar person to him. A big part of the reason I think you should try is for you. We remind each other as caregivers all the time to take care of yourself and the ability to travel again with your husband sounds like something you need for you not just for him, that makes it worth trying from my perspective. Keep in mind this might not go as easily as you hope but also keep in mind that if you take each obstacle as it comes and learn from it you may just navigate what your wanting to do…so much about life with a loved one who has dementia is new, different and constantly changing which can be sad but can also be joyful if you let it.
Why not consider taking shorter land vacations, perhaps at a resort, or one with guided tours? You don't say if you would consider driving or hiking, so I am leaving out that option; but taking small trips before you commit to a longer one., would be a safe bet. Have fun!
TChamp
Mar 11, 2022
It will be a waste of money. It's like taking a blind person to the movies. You're just trying to relive the fantasy of the years gone by.
Countrymouse
Mar 11, 2022
You think blind people never enjoy going to the movies? Think again.
Here you are, from the website Cineworld: "Audio description is special service for blind and visually impaired cinema goers. For selected films, a narration track is available which can be accessed through special headphones only. This fills the gaps between dialogue by describing what is happening on screen and doesn't affect other spectators' experience."
Don't make sweeping assumptions about what people are able to do.
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Helen4sure
Mar 11, 2022
Shame on you for trying to put Blind people in a class by themselves and that they couldn't/wouldn't enjoy going to the movies. If you had a handicap, and you were living your best life, would you want some bozo telling you what you should or should not do?
(3)
Anyway this cruise was Hawaii. We arrived a week before the cruise to tour a bit before the cruise and also to get used to the time difference and get over the exhaustion from the travel.
He was sort of ok but just "different".
On the ship I could not get him involved in activities, he refused to get into a bathing suit. Would sit on the deck in his jeans, a t-shirt (I had to hide his long sleeve shirts) his socks and sneakers.
(I think that was the start of the inkling in the back of my head that there was something wrong but again I did not put that together until I looked back...)
About a year or two after that I made plans to visit a friend and he was going to stay home. (this was again before his diagnosis) he did some odd things and I decided that I could not leave him so it was a car trip for the two of us and the dog. That trip was a NIGHTMARE! Much to long to go into here but needless to say the cruise was our last and that road trip was our last.
You know him better than anyone here, though. My grandmother mostly loved outings, trips, and stay overs at relative's houses long after she had advanced dementia. Everyone's different.
The experience without the crowds from the safety of home
So I love Grandma's idea to try a weekend away FIRST, but, I'd shorten it to an overnight stay at a hotel and preferably to a place where there will be crowds of people. Like maybe a fair or an event of some kind you can both attend. You want to see how he feels/reacts in CROWDS. You'll know in short order how he likes being in unfamiliar places, rooms, bed, bathroom, etc. Eating in a new restaurant, seeing new faces, and how crowds of people affect him. Because there are definitely crowds of people on cruise ships, that's for sure. Me, I don't like crowds in general, so I tend to avoid them. When dementia is at play, what used to be is no more, and you need to find out how DH responds to things NOW, before you invest time & money in a cruise. That would be my recommendation. It may work out well and it may not, but you'll find out, especially if you take a trip to the airport first. Just go for a visit.........walk around, see how he reacts to IT, too.
I hope he has a blast and the two of you can go on vacations and have a great time together, as you've done in the past. My DH & I have taken many trips together and our fondest memories are of those trips.
Best of luck.
I am telling you this, maybe to remind myself, that our traveling days are over. I'd love to go on another cruise. I love a destination vacation. I love to just go to the store.......like the 'good old days'. We've been married for over 50 years. I love him dearly. I would not put him through this again for anything.
Book a weekend at a hotel nearby. One with a pool and spa that you can enjoy.
See how well he does for a weekend.
Or go visit a friend or relative overnight. See how well he does away from home and in different surroundings and with his routine gone.
Either of these might give you an idea how he would react away from home for a brief time.
Take him to a busy mall and see how well he does with loud noises and a lot of people.
All of these, even if he does well is not a 100% guarantee that he will do well at the airport, on the flight and during transfer to the port. And going through security could be confusing and a challenge.
OK...Google is your friend...
I just Googled and there apparently are Dementia Friendly tour groups and cruises. Check the Alzheimer's Association website they might have info. Or just google dementia friendly cruises or tours.
i would book the nicest dinner cruise that lake havasu has with an overnight before at a great hotel with pool and spa. It’s gonna take 3 hours at least to get there and you can see how he does in the car and at the hotel with cruise ship scenarios, like kids running around the pool. If all’s good, see how the actual cruise experience is like. You might book another night at the same hotel.
this may be enough for him. But if he wishes to travel further with you, you’ll have a better idea of what is realistic.
https://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=3404
only you know the full picture, all the facts.
for some reason you’re hesitating. you must have good reasons for hesitating.
it sounds great to me, if he can enjoy it, and you too! :)
“mid-stage” ALZ…
only you know how much “mid-stage”.
Here you are, from the website Cineworld: "Audio description is special service for blind and visually impaired cinema goers. For selected films, a narration track is available which can be accessed through special headphones only. This fills the gaps between dialogue by describing what is happening on screen and doesn't affect other spectators' experience."
Don't make sweeping assumptions about what people are able to do.