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Ok, so my mom started going downhill two or three years ago! APS got involved because the doctor WOULD NOT call me back and I had to make a medical decision on my own! They called Adult and Protective Services on me! APS didn't do anything to me and I told them she was hitting me with a metal cane and punching me on a regular basis! I'm disabled and they did NOTHING TO PROTECT ME! I called the APS worker and told her I would be moving out but I would give her plenty of advance notice so they could have time to arrange her care! She told me if my partner and I left, I would be arrested for elder abandonedment! I just got off the phone with a lawyer who informed me that there was no such law and they violated my rights and I could have left any time! Although his practice revolves around children who are abused by the system, he strongly advised me to get a lawyer who specializes in this! They basically held me against my will!! They lied and did some other shady stuff, too! They allowed her to continue to beat on me, but finally decided she was a threat to herself when she ate a fly! Have you also been lied to by the State and did you try to sue them?

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You are correct, you are under no obligation to be a caregiver if you don't want to or are unable to. If you are a caregiver and willfully neglect or put the person you are caring for in a dangerous situation, it is possible you can be charged, but you would avoid that by taking steps to not be in that position. It sounds like you notified the SW of your intent, and at that time if the social worker believed your mom would be in danger she should have taken steps to put her in a situation where she safe. She did lie to you, it (abandonment) would be a charge that is not prosecutable as long as you attempted to get help and notified them. It sounds like APS should have done something sooner, as the environment didn't sound healthy for either of you. I don't know how far you would get with a lawsuit, but it may be worth it.
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purplebadger Apr 2022
Thank you SO much for your information and support! She's in a facility now but I still am suffering from nightmares and pain from getting hit due to fibromyalgia and where she hit me! The lawyer would have taken my case, but he specializes in children that have been abused by the state or foster parents! He told me TWICE to find another lawyer who specializes in handicapped people who have been in my situation! I want you to know that your advice has given me hope and I appreciate it very much! I don't want another disabled person to go through this!
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They will do this so they don't have to deal with the problem. IMO, abandonment would have been if you left and did not inform the authorities.

Do what you need to do for you. You could have called the police and told them she was volatile and needed 72 yr eval. If found needing 24/7 care, you could have refused to do the care sighting your disability. At that point u could have had the State take over her care.
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purplebadger Apr 2022
I did call the police when she was being violent one night and they not only said that there was nothing they could do, but were extremely rude to me! One of the officers recently had her mom pass away from azheimers and she openly treated me disrespectfully! But I called them more than anything so there'd be a record!
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Sue the state? How many lawyers do you think you accept your suit? How many lawyers do you think the State has waiting to handle this case?
I am glad you sought out the advice of a lawyer. What with now moving out you have enough on your plate.
After you move from the premises contact APS to report your mother as an elder at immediate risk. Let them know if she is no longer competent. Let them know you will not be accepting POA or guardianship and that she will have to have guardianship of the state.
Do know that once the state is your Mom's guardian you will have exactly ZERO to say about her placement, her finances, her care.
Good luck with your move. Just leave the past behind and get on with your own life.
A CAUTION HERE: Keep careful diaries of every single action or interaction with names, dates, times, communications, whether by phone or email, and etc. You may need these in future.
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purplebadger Apr 2022
She's already in a facility. I'm not irresponsible with human life! I just got the crap beat out of me on a regular basis for NO reason and I took good care of her! People just don't seem to understand that! I kept meticulous records and I have witnesses! I know some people think that a lot of lawyers mean I will lose, but a picture/video says a lot and so do my witnesses! My main concern is that I don't want any handicapped person to ever suffer like I did! It's as if what I went through didn't matter! Even on this chat board it seems as though what I went through didn't matter!
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You make a lot of accusations against APS.  What data do you have to prove this?   Your word may not mean that much; it's not documentable.    Did you keep a diary?  Photos?  What can you provide to support your claims?

Alva is right; I can't imagine any attorney wanting to spend time on a claim like this, especially (and I write this as kindly as I can) your attitude is very hostile.  Attorneys don't care to work with people who are hostile, and can't discuss issues in a professional manner.

You would also have to provide documentation supporting your accusations.  No attorney is going to stick out his or her neck and file a suit and take any action w/o documentation.

E.g.,  "they basically held me against my will!!"   How did this occur?  What actions were taken to "hold you"?   Were you served with any kind of court order?    Who specifically said what, and on what date?   

Basically, how can you prove what you claim?  What is your supporting documentation?  Words aren't sufficient.  And "who" in "the State"?    Lack of specifics will not persuade any attorney to represent you.   Accusations must be specific, and validated - names, dates, times, letters, and more.
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purplebadger Apr 2022
I'm not trying to sound hostile! I am disabled! I am a high functioning Autistic/ Asperger's! I have names, witnesses, photos, recorded phone calls, a doctor who will write a letter for me verifying that I am still suffering from her hitting me with a metal cane and I don't mean to sound hostile! My mom is now in a facility for eating a fly.... that's when the state came to the conclusion that she's a danger to herself! I feel like no matter what I do, I am screwing up! I don't want to see another person told by APS that if they leave, even with advance notice, that they'll be arrested for elder abandonedment! The lawyer even said that was completely untrue and I need to find another lawyer to handle this because he specializes in children being abused by the state and/or foster parents! In fact, he told me TWICE to pursue this! He told me that I was essentially held there against my will!
I tried my absolute best to take good care of her and I'm sorry if I sounded hostile! I know I did a good job and in return I feel like the fly she ate was worth more than I am! I thought people here would understand and be supportive! For those of you who were, thank you SO much! For those who thought I was harsh/hostile, please forgive me!
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purplebadger - I believe you. There're no reasons why you would get on this forum to make up some lies which don't benefit you in anyway.

I've read on this forum that hospital social workers lie all the time to get families to take their very sick loved ones back home to take care of them. So, it's not too far of a stretch for the state social workers to lie to you to make you take your mom back and take care of her.

So sorry you had to go through this.
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You are suffering from PSTD at the hands of your mother who is obviously a very disturbed person. Your first course of action should be to seek out counseling to address what you went through with your mother. The APS worker you called most likely did not know the full spectrum of you or your mother's situation. The APS worker probably thought you would be leaving a vulnerable elderly adult to their own accord. APS did you a favor by having your mother placed elsewhere. You are free from being physically abused. Now you need to heal your emotional scars. Take care of your emotional health first then you can revisit the idea of legal action.
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