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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Your mom has a different reality right now. Often times it is best to redirect her focus or change the subject. Other times, tell her the truth in a calm and compassionate manner........
I think that there is not an easy answer to this... My Mother is on namenda and is declining rapidly... I can imagine her asking for my grandfather in the not too distant future... I never knew him. He died of lung cancer in 1949. I think that you have to respond honestly but then realize they may not remember what you said 5 minutes later. Some times the old theraputic fiblet is the best thing. Also if they realize it can be VERY upsetting...
Mom used to ask for my dad all the time and I just told her he was at work. I did tell her once he died and she was very upset . So than when she again I just said he was at work. She does not ask for him anymore. She calls for him some and other people. I just say what? And she tells me what she wants
Hi--I agree with the agingcare expert------Be tactful and yet stern with your reply. If possible, try to follow this up with something that is pleasant. I would not try to make your Mom feel inferior at anytime, as communication can be challening enough for her. I hope this answres your quesion-as it is my opinion in the matter. Feel free to contact us, with further questions. Hap
If it were me and my mom, yes I'd tell her. My mom has asked to see her sister several times the last few months, her sister died from leukemia in 1974, I always tell her that "Audrey passed away in 1974, you remember don't you?" She always says "oh yes".
llayton2000, I so understand. Usually at night, my Mom gets to thinking about and missing her Mom and does the same. I first acknowledge that she must love and misses her Mom a lot, then always gently remind her that her siblings have all died, and so have her parents. Toward the end of each day, she starts calling each of her sibling's names and verifying with me that they have all died, and she shares little stories about them sometimes, or simply expresses her sense of sadness that they are no longer alive.
I agree with Carol that there is no right answer, however. Some elders become visibly distraught if they are told that someone they love is no longer alive. If that were the case and recurring, I would handle the situation differently.
I do prefer to try to keep Mom aware about her siblings and parents, however. On the other hand, I choose to not add any names of friends and distant family when they die, or become sick, however. She has enough on her mind missing her immediate family without my adding to the roll-call of names of those who have died.
Whatever you may decide to do, good luck in figuring out what may be best for your Mom. If you are still unsure, let her doctor know and ask for medical input on how to handle. Her doctor's reply will take into account her medical and emotional well-being.
You may want to read this article: Dad died. Mom has dementia. Should I tell her? https://www.agingcare.com/133806 There's no right answer for everyone, but my first instinct is to tell them once, and after that say things like, "You'll see him soon," and then distract them. It's very hard. I've been there. The artcle will at least show you that your aren't alone. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I hope this answres your quesion-as it is my opinion in the matter. Feel free to contact us, with further questions.
Hap
I agree with Carol that there is no right answer, however. Some elders become visibly distraught if they are told that someone they love is no longer alive. If that were the case and recurring, I would handle the situation differently.
I do prefer to try to keep Mom aware about her siblings and parents, however. On the other hand, I choose to not add any names of friends and distant family when they die, or become sick, however. She has enough on her mind missing her immediate family without my adding to the roll-call of names of those who have died.
Whatever you may decide to do, good luck in figuring out what may be best for your Mom. If you are still unsure, let her doctor know and ask for medical input on how to handle. Her doctor's reply will take into account her medical and emotional well-being.
There's no right answer for everyone, but my first instinct is to tell them once, and after that say things like, "You'll see him soon," and then distract them. It's very hard. I've been there. The artcle will at least show you that your aren't alone.
Carol