Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
That's how you talk about it, or how your sister talks about it, to mom: Mom, I love you very much but I can no longer handle your care needs at my age, it's too much for me. So I'm going to go look at some lovely Assisted Living places and pick 2 I like best for you to choose from. Sister and I will visit often and there will be lots of activities for you to do there.
Present it as a fact, that she's moving out, and present it in a positive, upbeat way, because AL is like a hotel for seniors.
Fleur123, welcome to the forum. Question, is your Mom open to moving to a senior facility? Can Mom budget the monthly rent? Does Mom have any memory issues? Can Mom budget for a professional caregiver to come in for the 1st shift or whatever shift to help out your sister? My Dad was paying $1,600 per week for a caregiver.
If your Mom has no major physical or memory issues she could start out in an Independent Living apartment at a senior living facility. My Dad (95 at the time) was looking forward to moving from his house. He loved the senior place, being around people closer to his age. In my area, the cost back then was $5k per month which included weekly housekeeping and linen service, plus one meal in the restaurant style dining area. The place was so nice, I was ready to sign up :)
Then when my Dad was showing signs of sundowning dementia, and was wandering at night trying to leave the building, then we moved Dad to the Memory Care area. Dad's only concern was the food, he wanted the same chef as was in Independent Living. I assured him, yes, same chef, and 3 meals in the dining area :)
I think often one does better with "informing a senior" than in "talking with". It comes down to Sis needing to sit with Mom and say:
"I know you aren't going to like this, Mom; and I am going to grieve this right along with you, because it is yet another loss for you to bear, but I cannot go on now with caregiving. We are going to have to find as good a placement as we are able for you to live; I promise to be your faithful visiting daughter now for the duration. I don't ask you to be happy about this, because so much now at this time of life isn't about happiness; it's about our doing our best given our limitations."
Talking about suggests that there is a way out of this. There isn't. And a daughter moves quickly from being a darling daughter to a much loathed caregiver when she takes on the job. This is going to be full of heartbreak and angst. So much in life IS about that.
I wish you the best. Do this as gently as you are able whilst still remaining firm and NOT up for argument. This isn't a discussion. This is a fact.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Present it as a fact, that she's moving out, and present it in a positive, upbeat way, because AL is like a hotel for seniors.
Good luck to you.
If your Mom has no major physical or memory issues she could start out in an Independent Living apartment at a senior living facility. My Dad (95 at the time) was looking forward to moving from his house. He loved the senior place, being around people closer to his age. In my area, the cost back then was $5k per month which included weekly housekeeping and linen service, plus one meal in the restaurant style dining area. The place was so nice, I was ready to sign up :)
Then when my Dad was showing signs of sundowning dementia, and was wandering at night trying to leave the building, then we moved Dad to the Memory Care area. Dad's only concern was the food, he wanted the same chef as was in Independent Living. I assured him, yes, same chef, and 3 meals in the dining area :)
It comes down to Sis needing to sit with Mom and say:
"I know you aren't going to like this, Mom; and I am going to grieve this right along with you, because it is yet another loss for you to bear, but I cannot go on now with caregiving.
We are going to have to find as good a placement as we are able for you to live; I promise to be your faithful visiting daughter now for the duration. I don't ask you to be happy about this, because so much now at this time of life isn't about happiness; it's about our doing our best given our limitations."
Talking about suggests that there is a way out of this. There isn't. And a daughter moves quickly from being a darling daughter to a much loathed caregiver when she takes on the job. This is going to be full of heartbreak and angst. So much in life IS about that.
I wish you the best. Do this as gently as you are able whilst still remaining firm and NOT up for argument. This isn't a discussion. This is a fact.