Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother, who is no longer married to my father has his power of attorney. She is not making appropriate decisions based on what is best for him. How do I remove her as power of attorney?
Hawk, it is my understanding that he only needs to be lucid at the time he changes his POA, not 24/7. Does he have certain times of the day where he is more with it? As long as the lawyer/notary is satisfied he understands what he is asking for and signing then it should be possible for him to assign a new POA.
Your dad is the only one who can change his power of attorney. You can get a lawyer and apply for guardianship over your dad but beware, this is a lengthy and expensive process.
It would be cheaper if you could get your dad to change his POA himself if he is able to do so but if he suffers from dementia this isn't an option and you're back to gaining legal guardianship.
I encourage you to try and get your father to assign the new POA to you. It will seem like I am stating the obvious but I can relate to the situation you describe and from now on he will more and more need to be under the care of someone who has his best interest at heart and that's not his ex-wife but you. Try to get some support and an understanding lawyer. Go for it. Blessings.
If you are concerned about fraud or elder abuse, you can try calling Adult Protective Services. It does usually require court involvement to get someone removed as POA.
Of course, you can also try seeing if your father is able to revise it with an attorney, but often in your situation people aren't able to get the older person to a lawyer because the POA is preventing it, or because the older person doesn't want to go, or because the older person no longer has capacity to revise the POA. (Lucid moments may or may not cut it, when it comes to capacity.)
I would also recommend you keep detailed notes as to what your mother is doing, why you are concerned, and also collect evidence from others, if possible. Good luck!
I went through something very similar, my younger sister has the POA of my mom. My sister and I got into an argument about a BUSINESS decision I made, then she limit my access to my mom, she's even had me arrested for trespassing when I arrived to visit my mom. She put a TRO against me on my mom's behalf, because she told elderly protection I'm a danger to my mom. I filed a petition to have my mom interdicted, due to her dementia. I also filed a petition to be my mom's Curator and my daughter to be my mom's Under Curator. The judge interdicted my mom, named my sister Curator, and me Under Curator, here's the blessing, the Curator has to answer to the courts and sibilings, the Under Curator is like the watch dog, letting the courts and sibilings know if the Curator is not acting in the best interest of the interdicted person. ALL major decision MUST BE discussed with and approved by the Under Curator. The Curator also has to provide financial and health information to the court and all siblings bi-annually. It's a difficult transition for my sister, she not use to telling us anything about our mom, she ran the show alone, but I love it, my sister is in contempt now, and we're awaiting our court date. Before the interdiction I had nothing, no voice, no input as to what decisions are made on my mom's behalf. NOW I have an input. Good luck!!
The POA is invalid after divorce. (Unless otherwise ordered by a judge or at the request of your father). At least, that is what some really smart people have posted before, and I believe them. I am just following logic here, but no one needs to resign if the POA is invalid.
If your father is receiving Social Security, take him there and have them assign "Rep-payee" to you, or to a responsible fiduciary.
To save time, and if it is possible, open an account to receive the funds (so you can give SS the routing number) at the time of visiting the SS office.
Please check these facts out yourself by going to the SS website, looking up "Rep-payee". You can also call SS to notify them of the divorce. How long has this been going on?
Note: A rep-payee ends at divorce also. So maybe this can be done without first notifying his ex-wife. Then SS will tell you about notification.
Do your homework, and if you feel unqualified, get someone who can. imo.
Disclaimer. I am not an expert, but my dH and I are surviving just fine.
Inform your mother that she doesn't seem to be doing what you feel is right for your dad IN WRITING - then document everything & use your cellphone video function to help - if you suspect abuse either physical or mental or verbal then install a 'nanny cam' to protect him -
Once you have proof then show her it all - then ask her to resign so that the backup P.O.A. [hopefully there is one on the P.O.A. papers] can step forward - but be aware that this may cause friction between you & your mom but she may look at it as a relief too - however if you think some of her choices have caused his rapid decline you must at all times protect the person who is most vulnerable at that moment
This is the text of Apromise4mom's link (thank you for doing that).
************** "You want to know if a durable power of attorney made out by one spouse to another expires when the couple gets divorced. [I'm not sure from your question if you gave your ex a DPA, or if he gave you one. For purposes of my answer, it doesn't matter.]
A durable power given by one spouse to another spouse NOT expire after the couple has gotten divorced. If the spouse who gave the DPA no longer wants his or her ex-spouse to have authority under the DPA, he or she should revoke that DPA.
It is possible that one state, or perhaps a few, has a law that provides that a DPAs given to a spouse expires after a divorce. I am not an expert on every state's law on this. Still, it would be easier to revoke the DPA than to research a state's law on this." *************
Although I appreciate the expert's taking the trouble, I have to disagree that it's easier to revoke a DPA than to check what law applies. And in the case of our current OP, here, it may prove impossible for his father to revoke the DPA. So check. And report welfare concerns to APS regardless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It would be cheaper if you could get your dad to change his POA himself if he is able to do so but if he suffers from dementia this isn't an option and you're back to gaining legal guardianship.
Of course, you can also try seeing if your father is able to revise it with an attorney, but often in your situation people aren't able to get the older person to a lawyer because the POA is preventing it, or because the older person doesn't want to go, or because the older person no longer has capacity to revise the POA. (Lucid moments may or may not cut it, when it comes to capacity.)
I would also recommend you keep detailed notes as to what your mother is doing, why you are concerned, and also collect evidence from others, if possible. Good luck!
I filed a petition to have my mom interdicted, due to her dementia. I also filed a petition to be my mom's Curator and my daughter to be my mom's Under Curator. The judge interdicted my mom, named my sister Curator, and me Under Curator, here's the blessing, the Curator has to answer to the courts and sibilings, the Under Curator is like the watch dog, letting the courts and sibilings know if the Curator is not acting in the best interest of the interdicted person. ALL major decision MUST BE discussed with and approved by the Under Curator. The Curator also has to provide financial and health information to the court and all siblings bi-annually.
It's a difficult transition for my sister, she not use to telling us anything about our mom, she ran the show alone, but I love it, my sister is in contempt now, and we're awaiting our court date. Before the interdiction I had nothing, no voice, no input as to what decisions are made on my mom's behalf. NOW I have an input.
Good luck!!
At least, that is what some really smart people have posted before, and I believe them. I am just following logic here, but no one needs to resign if the POA is invalid.
If your father is receiving Social Security, take him there and have them assign "Rep-payee" to you, or to a responsible fiduciary.
To save time, and if it is possible, open an account to receive the funds (so you can give SS the routing number)
at the time of visiting the SS office.
Please check these facts out yourself by going to the SS website, looking up "Rep-payee". You can also call SS to notify them of the divorce. How long has this been going on?
Note: A rep-payee ends at divorce also. So maybe this can be done without first notifying his ex-wife. Then SS will tell you about notification.
Do your homework, and if you feel unqualified, get someone who can. imo.
Disclaimer. I am not an expert, but my dH and I are surviving just fine.
Once you have proof then show her it all - then ask her to resign so that the backup P.O.A. [hopefully there is one on the P.O.A. papers] can step forward - but be aware that this may cause friction between you & your mom but she may look at it as a relief too - however if you think some of her choices have caused his rapid decline you must at all times protect the person who is most vulnerable at that moment
**************
"You want to know if a durable power of attorney made out by one spouse to another expires when the couple gets divorced. [I'm not sure from your question if you gave your ex a DPA, or if he gave you one. For purposes of my answer, it doesn't matter.]
A durable power given by one spouse to another spouse NOT expire after the couple has gotten divorced. If the spouse who gave the DPA no longer wants his or her ex-spouse to have authority under the DPA, he or she should revoke that DPA.
It is possible that one state, or perhaps a few, has a law that provides that a DPAs given to a spouse expires after a divorce. I am not an expert on every state's law on this. Still, it would be easier to revoke the DPA than to research a state's law on this."
*************
Although I appreciate the expert's taking the trouble, I have to disagree that it's easier to revoke a DPA than to check what law applies. And in the case of our current OP, here, it may prove impossible for his father to revoke the DPA. So check. And report welfare concerns to APS regardless.