Follow
Share

mom is receiving calls almost every day claiming she won money but in order for her to receive the so called winnings she must send them money to release the winnings. I and her other kids keep warning her it is a scam. so a few times she tells them to stop calling BUT they NEVER do. then a while later down the line she again starts sending money. she tells me mind my own Business. I just do NOT know what i can do as i tell my Brothers NOT to mail these things for her and etc BUT they will NOT listen and do it any ways. I am the one who is taken care of mom I have 5 brothers and myself. NOBODY seems concerned but me and I just do not know what I can do. I had even talked to her Doctor and when her Doctor told her it was a scam and that she shouldn't be giving her money away she told her Doctor to mind his own Business I had even had a social worker talk with mom and still she will NOT listen. please help it needs to stop and on top of her giving her money away we are receiving phone calls day in and day out on a daily Basis and when I tell them to stop calling they just keep calling back and being rude calling me a bitch and other choice words. I can NOT seem to get any help from any one her Doctor, social worker for the Elderl, and or my Brothers. WHO can help? what can I do? as this has got to stop. this has been going on now for about 5 years. and I try talking with her she tells me mind my own Buisness and tells me that she dosen't tell me what to do with my money. and just continues to give her money away then cry that she never has any money. then when I mention well, stop throwing your money away on the scams and then the crys well I was wishing to win big money to buy a house for the Family. then a bit later she is giving her money away again. PLEASE HELP ME!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Some banks let you have PoA on checking accounts for just this instance. (without having the legal state PoA) I had to force it onto my grandmother because she kept giving away money as well. Occationally, I'll still find scamming on her account - and the bank is aware of the situation. So, everytime I call about it they fix it without a problem.

Eventually, after I get her bills settled, I will have to change her accounts so nobody will have her account information.

Alternatively, once you obtain PoA and she currently has no automatic transfers or bills to pay, you can stop ALL debits against the account until she actually needs to get cash from the bank. Allow it for that day only, then put the debit block back on the account.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Also, consider changing her number for her so they stop calling.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hire an elder care attorney. Have the lawyer place all your mom's asset's either in a trust or in your name. This will give you control of her assets. Then remove all meaningful valuables (jewelry etc) and money from the home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Read all of the previously posted advice above (or below). I went through this, not because of a parent's dementia (although my mom did have it) but because my dad cannot handle his affairs any longer. When scammers call him up, he has nothing to give anymore and I handle the finances. Also...visit your parent often and engage them in conversation and ask who calls them...or get a phone that records numbers that called him and report suspicious activity to the police.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So sorry to hear about this. Please visit the FBI website addressing this issue: www.fbi.gov › Scams & Safety › Common Fraud Schemes

On that website, on the right side, are a list of common scams, and contact numbers for the FBI. Please get in touch with them.

I am very puzzled that your brothers mail her letters sending money to these scammers. What is that about? If they don't believe these are scams, sit them down with the FBI website.

Additionally, the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) covers financial frauds targeting older Americans. Here is the number for the CFPB Ombudsman's office I have not used them and the CFPB is a newly formed agency so I don't know how helpful they will be but it is worth a try.

Also, call the police. I don't know where you live, but police in smaller towns will respond to this crime with gusto -- check your local police blotter and you will likely see a bunch of these kinds of reports.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

There are many useful facts in above posts to help with blocking or reporting scammers. One other thought -- this is about why your loved one clings to the "mind your own business" attitude when you try to tell them these are scams. It's because they are likely getting "sweet talked" and it's appealing to them. Also, the catalog companies and shopping networks' customer service call-line for orders are super-sweet to elder customers. It's emotionally addicting and they purchase just to get that "fix." Legal intervention is usually required to stop access to calls in/calls out. You can try and try as the caregiver to provide the attention they seem to need, but you will likely wear yourself out for nothing. Find a good counselor to talk to, and then ask them to meet with you and your loved one together. Legal steps next, if counseling won't solve the issue.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If you do not have, immediately obtain a Financial Power of Attorney which will then allow you to control her finances. (Legal Zoom has one specific for the state you live in that is reasonably priced.) Notify banks/c.c. companies that a dual signature is necessary for any/all financial transactions. Change the phone # and if possible, have it limited to accept/place calls to specific #.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Have the same thing happening with my 91 year old mother. It seems that once someone gets on the "sucker list" all sorts of spam calls and other "too good to be true" offers start to come. Had to take away her credit card as that was the biggest place to get hurt. We finally got her to understand but sometimes she still buys some junk that is a pain to return. Had the mail sent to my sister's house (next door) and she removed all the junk mail to eliminate getting to my mother that way. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

As far as the 100s of daily mailings, I have been able to cut at least 95% of them when this became a serious problem with my father. i wrote a letter telling them their mailings have become a very serious problem to our family and must stop. I hope they will take my request seriously so I won't have to take further action. Then look up the name and address of your state's attorney general and cc the letter to that address. I didn't send the letter to the attorney general's office, but the scammers didn't know that. Use their return envelope to make sure it will be opened and include the page or form that was to be completed, showing your mother's/father's name and address, etc. Don't include your address, or you might get on their mailing list. A few of them kept sending mailings, but a second letter with stronger language worked. It takes time and there is the expense of postage on some of them, but well worth it. Good Luck! Judy
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Our mother was diagnosed 3 years ago with dementia, my sister and I have been dealing with these same issues w/our mother for the last 3 years. They had to go today to change her checking account again for the 4th time in 8 months. There was almost 2900.00 taken from her account over things she swears she didn't do, but it's evident she has, from using her debit card over the phone, which she claims she has never used, period,. to ordering every useless article that can be pitched her way. As far as the scammers, I personally talked to 1 who claimed my mother had won a cruise, that was during the time my dad lay in a comatose state in a local nurisng home and I told this person then do not call my mother again, she is not interested! Somehow a few days later they got through to my mother who gave them her banking info and scammed her 1000.00. We constantly tell mother theses are scammers, she's telling us she's not sending money, or ordering things. But like I told my sister today, this is not our mother we are dealing with. The dementia has turned her into someone we do not know. Our mother would not throw away money the way this person does. What makes it worse, she came into a large sum of money about 6 months ago and she has rifiled through the majority of it on these scams. I tell her time and time again that she was the biggest sucker there is and the people that are doing this knows shes a sucker thats why they continue to do it, and she lets them...I also told her she may as well put her money in the fireplace and burn it, cause what she does with it is the same thing, trying to shock her back to reality, but nothing we say seems to phase her. My sister who has POA has finally after what happened today been allowed (by our mother) to be added to her checking account, this way at least my sister can monitor her checking account daily. Hopefully this will be a big hellp. I've heard of horror stories of loved ones dealing with thing of this nature, but when you have to deal with it personally, it plays havoc on our emotions.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter