My mother has been thru all 3 of us, her daughters. My dad has been gone for almost 2 years and she has done the same to us. Sits back and wants us to wait on her hand and foot. She stayed with my twin for 7 months and was with me while she was on vacation. My older sister during this week decided that mom would not go back to my twins house, but stay with ME. No discussion was made and I was told I would take on the responsibility. After 7 months of no help, I made the decision and told my older sister, I was taking mom back to her house or to hers. She is now wanting to sue me for Elder Abandonment. Can she do this as my mom is of sound mind? She cooked, cleaned, drove, paid all the bills up until the day Dad passed and then just quit. What are my opinions? I know can not go see my mother without being theatened that I will be arrested.
You might all consider intra-family mediation to work out all the elements of this rather messy scenario. Mediation can be cheaper and faster than litigation and may provide a total settlement of all issues and not just some.
Michael
So as Luvmydad say's your mom can change it or revoke it. With the help of an Elder Law Attorney my Parents chose to changed theirs from joint POA between me and my Sister to just me. The service was free. But I would caution anyone to be careful who they make POA and to whom they accept POA for.
I wouldnt do it again, I just rather be irresponsible than to carry all of this responsibility for people I hold so dear in my heart, but who else is to do it with the right intentions?
No, you cannot be arrested or sued as you made sure that your Mom was in a safe place (just as your sister did when she left your mom with you).
I'm curious as to whether the physicians placed your Mom on anti-depressant meds - they might help. Her actions show that SOMETHING is going on.
She may also qualify for free or reduced cost meals on wheels if she is home bound.
Best wishes and do not be in fear of your sister. A POA really doesn't give her much power. She's over-utilizing the title.
Shelley Webb RN
My Parents were never without each other for 65 years until Dad had this major Stroke which required care that Mom couldn't provide. She stayed in their home for 9 mos hoping against the odds that Dad would have a home to come back to but that didn't happen. Mom moved in with Dad and they are together again but at some point, one will have to be without the other and I'm afraid that Mom will be thouroughly lost with out Dad.
But back to the idea of Meals on Wheels, the cost is very low! Or between you 3 maybe meals can be prepared for the week? It really does sound like your Mom will benefit from in home care at her home.
Do a search for Elder Care in your area, I think you'll find a lot of helpful information there too.
Best wishes to you, do what's best to help your Mom and don't let anyone threaten you.
Just a few thoughts.
Blessings,
Bridget
Take care of yourself,
Carol