I have been through all the scary parts of protecting my assets through my wife’s illness and deaths. The question is should you re marry? Should an illness or age related event happen, Are you better off with a will or trust than to be married and have to fight the community property grab by the government and health care agencies
I never commingled my money. He supports us and never wanted any part of my assets. Neither of us was poor. Because we're married, I'll receive his military pension when he's gone. Also his other assets are in trust to benefit me for the rest of my life, and after that his adult kids inherit. I won't need to touch the principal. We financially partially support his sister, who isn't well and who helped him when he was working his way through college. This was my idea, and he enthusiastically agreed.
We live in a community property state and each had our own lawyer prepare our estate plans. For us, the benefits of marrying were more than not marrying. If I'd chosen not to marry him, I'd still choose to be his caregiver - but I wouldn't have the financial benefits of being married. I feel honored and loved, and he does too.
Marriage should always be decided on a case by case basis and with the advice of an attorney who can point out theoretical disastrous scenarios and make it clear how to avoid them.
Also in some cases it’s not beneficial financially to be married.
And like others and myself said , some would just avoid it to avoid grief from step relatives.
Many men have like yourself smartly protected their assets during their spouse's illness or if they were placed. Getting remarried means re-doing all of that.
Then there's the issue of greedy, grown children. If the people getting remarried are seniors who have already built lives and assets with a different spouse, co-mingling these assets could be troublesome in states that have community property laws.
For example:
You remarry a woman with grown kids. You pass away. Your wife of course inherits half your estate even of you don't have a will. Then her kids inherit from her.
I know a couple who married when the husband was in his 60's in excellent, robust health and she was in her 40's . He had never had kids, but he was very close to his family (brothers and their kids). He died quickly after they married. Now this woman had zilch and came to her new husband's house basically barefoot and hungry with a string of low-down, freeloading relatives. Then her three adult, loser kids from three different fathers moved in. She inherited his entire estate. His family got nothing.
The woman died of alcoholism a couple years later. Her adult kids took it all. Got her husband's house, his cars, his bank accounts, insurance, etc... because he didn't have time to make a Will. She made one the second she married him.
Don't get remarried when you're a senior citizen. It's not worth the headache of separating and protecting assets. You can get something legal stating that your domestic partner gets what you want them to get and this will protect you from communal property laws.
I don’t think it is necessary for seniors to remarry at that late stage. Keep finances separate.
I'd say just do the friends with benefits route.
Companionship is morw why people date in their older age and get into romantic relationships. Or because they were married for a long time and can't adapt to life alone.
And one that both parties should seriously think about.
there are/ can be financial ramifications.
If a person is getting benefits from the VA and remarries I think the benefits stop.
There are other cases where a benefit may stop if the person remarries.
You should have a Will, married or not.
Trusts are good if you want to avoid probate and have family that you want to pass "things" to.
I doubt seriously if I would ever marry again. I find that after this long it would be hard to share space. I think I am set in my ways.
And I don't think anyone wants to hear me snap, crackle, pop walking across the floor in the morning.
As a boomer hippy generation I am good not being married. As they say make love not war. But there is a culture that thinks marriage is an important thing what that is I don’t know. Love and marriage have nothing to do with each other.
The wife convinced my father in law that all the adult children should be equal beneficiaries in his will . She had three children , my father in law only had two .
She died and my husband was POA for his father . He got criticism from two of the steps for the amount of father in laws money being spent to pay for assisted living for his father . They wanted to preserve inheritance .
My husband dealt with all the difficulties of dealing with his father with dementia who was not understanding that he wasn’t able to live alone . Meanwhile two of these steps would agree with the old man and just make him more difficult and resistant to help with hygiene and incontinence care, in order to try to prove to us that he didn’t belong in assisted living .
So now he died. And since the will states everything is split 5 ways between her 3 adult kids and my father in laws 2 adult kids , her side of the family ends up with 60 % of my father in laws money . We don’t understand why he didn’t split it 50% to her side and 50% to his own side. That would have been more than fair to her side since most of the money was his , IMO.
Don’t get married . It’s too late to commingle money at this point .
I don't think I would want to make this commitment to anyone else. So no I would never marry again.
met at 17 . We are 59 and I know I would never remarry .
My grandmother was a widow at 64. About 5 years later, she had a companion , went on dinner dates , they did not live together . She also told me she refused sex . She just wanted a companion. Then he started talking marriage so she broke it off , she never dated again after that.
Women marrying older men in Florida is very prevalent and it can get real messy as many of these women are scammers for money.
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