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I think I've mentioned this before, my therapist, who has been very helpful, gives therapy online via Skype through TALKSPACE. I am in Illinois, she is in another state. And I wanted to move to the state she lives in as I grew up there. It would be like going back home for me, and I really like it there. So almost every session she asks when I am coming to that state? When am I moving there? She reduced my rate if I promised to visit her. She'll show me a good time. She'll introduce me to her brother and family. She'll hook me up with her friends. She'll invite me to her get togethers. She hopes I consider moving to that state. She has even mentioned that I consider moving to the city she lives in. Etc. Etc. I asked her about that this week, why she always mentions it and I reminded her she is my therapist, only. And the response I got back was she was modeling that behavior because I have issues with making friends, and wants to show me that I am a likeable person. That all sounds fishy to me. And wondering what you all think about this situation. Thanks.

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Bloom, I think I remember you mentioning this therapist before, it seems to me many of us felt she raised a lot of red flags then and this is only a further example of a lack of professional ethics. I'm glad she has been helpful from a distance, keep it that way.
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Bloom, since the therapist has been "very helpful" as your wrote, you can use that excuse to part-ways. What she is currently doing is really crossing the line. Makes me wonder if she is really a talk therapist. Have you checked her credentials?

I always wonder how these on-line talk therapist can treat clients who live out of State. You'd think their license is only good for the State where they have their office.

It is much better to have face time with a therapist. Find someone new.
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Good advice. What I've noticed in the Skype sessions is her face/body language. Once I said that in general at this time I am not looking for a relationship because of the grieving process I am going through. I immediatly noticed that she looked visibly uncomfortable and started rubbing her eyes. So you can reach your own conclusions one way or the other. I have a problem sometimes of seeing things the way they really are in reality.
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As for the license to practice, she is licensed in a few states. Not mine. But she tells me that the company allowed her to keep those clients that reside in states she is not licensed in, but can't take any new clients where she is not licensed after the company updated their policy. Now, I don't know if that is true or not.
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Is there a way to contact the admins for the therapy site and ask THEM if they think this is appropriate behavior for a therapist?
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Red flags, waving strongly. Her approach to "making friends" is not professional. She should be explaining to you and giving advice, not acting as the hands-on teacher.

Get out of this relationship before this woman becomes more aggressive.

The business about keeping her license and treating out of state is nonsense. And what is this "company" for which she works? It's probably just some Internet site with no medical or psychological credentials at all.

Sorry, but I think you're being "played".
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Bloom, I was curious about how this on-line or text therapy works. One article showed the income these therapist make, and the income was pretty low. If a therapist was good, they would be part of a group and see clients in person. Not saying that the therapist on such websites aren't good, but it does make you wonder why they are working for such low pay. Unless the therapist is using this to supplement their other income.
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She has a fulltime day job as a therapist and building up her own practice. The site is TALKSPACE that she works for.
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Bloom, notwithstanding or disregarding anything we posters have written, I think you REALLY need to read the article in Forbes, titled "Should Buyers Beware? Hidden Risks In Talkspace's Text-Only Therapy". I can't post a URL b/c it would be deleted. So google the article, and especially read the section "The four hidden risks of the Unlimited Messaging Therapy model include: ...".

It should also be noted, from the article, that TalkSpace in 2015 rec'd $9.5M in investment capital - that's a whole lot of money. And angel fund investors want good returns on their investment, so there's that incentive to make money as opposed to the traditional medical model of healing (or adapting) as the goal.

These observations are particularly interesting (I can't quote directly b/c of copyright issues, so I've paraphrased):

Talkspace wans to be a "disruptive technology" to change psychotherapy practice into a contemporary living style, accessible to everyone. Imagine: "everyone" in therapy. We'll spend all our time psychoanalyzing ourselves and others.

Psychotherapy in my opinion isn't something that should be democratized, like education. And not everyone needs it, so the goal of extending it to the masses is really inappropriate, and in my opinion could be harmful.

Please, read the Forbes article. It will be well worth your time.
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OMG---HUGE red flags!!!!
I have a therapist who is absolutely wonderful. In fact, were she NOT my therapist, I could see us being very god friends...HOWEVER....you should NOT have a "relationship" of any kind with your therapist outside of the office. Why is she contacting you and talking about "showing you a good time?" So inappropriate. You seem to already feel uncomfortable with her, tell her you are "good" and do not schedule any more sessions. If you do move to the city she's in, don't let her know and don't contact her.
I don't know her credentials, but therapists are held to a VERY high standard of behavior and she has already crossed way too many lines.
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I should mention that all the therapists comments are done face to face via live video conferencing. I don't think she's evil or anything like that, but she's looking for a relationship and I think that's what she's doing in my case. I've talked to therapists before and never has anything like this happened to me. I did have a friend who was a Psychologist and he told me he almost lost his license because of striking up relationships with some clients. So go figure, we are all human, but it bothers me to be used, taken advantage of in any way, shape or form, no matter how slight or serious it might be. But I am having a hard time judging this particular therapist because I went through so much sadness and grief with my moms death, that I was especially vulnerable and unable to see things clearly. THanks.
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Bloomschool,
Have you noticed that you already have "cyber-friends" looking out for you, caring about you?
There is no charge.
They willingly came alongside to help.
Even GardenArtist has researched the therapy model for you, and I know that doing that for someone can be time consuming. If the therapy model is working for anyone, it is NOT working for this person, who is scamming you for money, and maybe getting something out of it, (called narcissistic supply?). It is a very dangerous thing to toy with a person's emotions, to say what she did, then 'explain' by saying she is 'mirroring friendship'. This is NOT something professional or therapeutic! Red flags everywhere, as your AC forum friends have said, and I agree.
There are many kinds of friendship. Please don't settle. A nearby group therapy led by a real therapist may help you. However, maybe you are already better, thinking more for yourself, but still needing just a little support?
So glad that you have come by to ask your question. Whether you continue with the online therapist or not, please make the posters here part of your friendship resource.
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Learn to trust yourself again Bloomschool!
Since you are a male, and your therapist is female, it sounds more like she is "coming on to you".
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I don't want to offend anyone who is a therapist or a social worker, but it seems to me that many in those professions got interested in them because they were trying to figure out their own issues, keeping things at arms length offers protection for both sides.
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Great thoughts and answers. I am going to cut it off with the therapist even though she helped me greatly through my grief. But it's not right to cross that line. And I do realize all the great help I've gotten on this site and believe me, it's been needed. I am doing very much better and though I miss my mother I am not sad about it anymore like I was, and feeling some regrets, coulda, woulda, shoulda's. I feel I can move on. The hard part for me that I've experienced my entire life, is being able to identify and realize when I am being taken advantage of, as with this therapist, although, quite frankly, I think she really likes me but is obviously crossing the ethical line. And I am not interested in my therapist, I only went to get help. And its good to get all these opinions to give me clarity. Thanks!!!!!
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Dear Bloom,

I'm glad you've come to this conclusion. Grief is a long journey and I would hate to see a therapist take advantage of you in this way.

I've had friends so therapist for years. I am not against therapy at all but I sometimes if my friends are being exploited financially. It is a slippery slope for sure. I am glad we have this community of online friends looking out for us.

Happy to hear you are feeling better in your grief journey. I take hope for your posts because so many mirrored my own journey.
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cwillie: "it seems to me that many in those professions got interested in them because they were trying to figure out their own issues," I've often wondered this, too. I think it's definitely true of psychiatrists!

It amazes me what posters here report that their therapists/counselors say -- often the advice seems so weak as to be worthless. (Not always, but often!)
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CWillie, my (psychiatric nurse) sister told me the same thing - some people go into the psychological and psychiatric fields b/c they're trying to understand themselves.

Bloomschool, for your protection, exit gracefully, but permanently. If you compliment and thank her, she hopefully won't realize that you're cutting off the relationship. If you have to, change e-mail addresses or other contact information so she can't reach you.

You went to her during a period of grief, which could be perceived as a weakness and opportunity for a therapist who exceeds boundaries. And she would likely recognize how to use that vulnerability and exploit it.

Good luck, and I hope your healing journey continues on a positive path. I think most of us probably are quite vulnerable after losing a parent.
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She is crossing boundaries that she should know full well that she should not cross.
I hate to say it even if she is helping you you need to cut this off.
If her talks were/are monitored I am sure that she would have a lot of explaining to do. I am guessing that she is pretty much not monitored.
If the supervisor was aware of her personal conversations I am sure she would be reprimanded for it.
I also suggest that if you do move do not tell her. At least for 1 year AFTER she is no longer you therapist. And I suggest that you find another as soon as possible. If you like the Talkspace ask to have a change in therapists.

This whole thing sounds a bit like a stalker if you ask me.
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Well, I'm not looking for another therapist. it's been a tough grief journey, something I don't want to go through again, and I am for sure, feeling a whole lot better. And starting to make plans for my future. I've been told not to make any changes for about a year. It's only been not even 6 months, so I am waiting till next spring to move. Which is something I've wanted to do for several years. I am anxious to move now, but waiting to see how the next few months proceed. I expect to feel even better in a few months. But one never knows whats coming down the road. I don't feel good about this therapist, some guilt, as she did help me quite a bit, but obviously was trying to maniupulate me. I always knew that, but felt I needed the therapy so I ignored the other stuff she said. Didnt want the stress of changing therapists. That being said, I look forward to my future very much.
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Bloomschool, I can relate about the stress of changing therapists. Cut lose the current one and wait a few months. If you feel you need a "tune up", then seek out someone else to talk to.

Lo and behold my second talk therapist was soooo much better, as she had personal experience with her own aging parents.

One thing I did was work on a family tree, as my parents had passed while in their 90's but I didn't know a whole lot about their grandparents or great-grandparents.  Climbing through the family tree has been so very interesting :)  I have gotten as far back of the mid 1700's.
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Hi Bloomschool, you sound like a very level-headed guy. Why would you feel guilty about leaving this therapist? You paid for her service. She's not your "friend". You owe her nothing beyond paying for her professional service (despite her own lack of professionalism).

It sounds like you have very good instincts but question your own judgment. Whenever you feel that gut feeling, listen to it! In this case, it has served you well. I agree with dropping this therapist and waiting to see if you need to see someone else. This therapist has stepped over all kinds of professional lines. If she were in a normal setting, she could probably lose her license (or should) in trying to befriend you, badgering you about when you're moving, offering to hook you up and show you a good time. All of that is unbelievably unprofessional!

My undergrad degree is in psychology and I can say that the people that I knew who went on to get advanced degrees in psychology were pretty odd people. I think social workers are usually a bit more "normal" in their personal psychology. But that' s not based on any scientific study, just personal observation.

Good luck and keep us posted. My mom died almost three months ago and I'm waiting for a year before I consider moving somewhere else. That only makes sense to me. I want to let everything settle before I consider another big change.
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Hi I got a Master's degree in Guidance and Counseling in the early 80's. Majored in Psychology and Communication, under grad. I got a social workers license in MI years ago. I haven't been in that field for years. But it's absolutely wrong. Completely wrong. I got in to this field because of the Bob Newhart show. Thought he had a great job. No " therapist" should get that involved personally.  Back in my day , we were taught to present options.  Not offer advice.   
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More great comments. I'm seeing things much more clearly now with this therapist, and while she says she is trying to mirror these traits of liking me and inviting me, etc, to show me that I am a likeable person, it always struck me as odd that a therapist would be so concerned that I move, and would invite me to her house to meet the family, her friends, etc. Such BS! In the beginning she did mention she prefers working with men, so I figure she's doing the same thing to other patients. 
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Well, here is the newest news. I contacted Talkspace. and asked them about how they match clients with therapists out of state. And if it's appropriate for a therapist to be a friend and do what I've previously described. So here is their response:

"Originally at Talkspace, clients and therapists were not matched by state, but in the past year we rolled out a matching system that strictly matches them by state. Clients who were already matched before then were not changed, but if you like we can have you re-matched to a therapist in your own state. Just let me know."

The client / therapist relationship is a pretty intimate one. It would be unusual for a therapist to treat a client as a friend per say, but a few clients have met their therapists outside of Talkspace just so that they could meet them in person one time. But not really as friends."

So that confirms my suspicions and I will be cancelling my subscription to their site later today. It was difficult to see the situation with any clarity when I was deep in grief. But now I see it. I was being played like a violin during therapy sessions. She helped me but was also trying to manipulate me. I am not going to mention the therapists name unless they ask for it. Although they do have the records and written text messages. But not the Skype sessions as she threw them in free. I didnt complain as I really needed help.
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They have a copy of all of the text messages between you and the therapist?

If you have Netflix, you might be interested in "Gypsy." It's about a therapist who crosses all sorts of boundaries with her patients.
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Yes, CTTN55, they have all the text messages, as text messages are through their website. But most of the things she said were via Skype. At this point, I don't care, I just want to move on.
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I might be totally off the mark with this thought, but I wondered if you received an inheritance and if your therapist was aware of this and could that be a reason why she has been trying to manipulate you into a relationship with her.
I think you are doing the right thing by cutting all ties with her and I wish you all the best in the future.
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A good and ethical therapist will not cross the boundaries that she has. There are many good therapists out there...find another.
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My mom had no money, I gave her money, no inheritance. Billing was through talk space.com. the therapist has no access to my bank. The thing is, the therapist comes across as a normal nice person. Who was constantly looking to get me to visit her. It didn't seem "evil", just low key manipulation. Who knows, in real life she might be mean and nasty.
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