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My dad is 85. He suffered a stroke five years ago, which affected his left side. His arm is constricted, and he drags his left foot. He is also afflicted with AAA (Aorta Abdominal Anyursm), fractured vertebrae, Afib with possible blood flow restriction, blind in one eye.


My dad informed me years ago that he wanted to be cremated with no form of service. He has a DNR.


My question is should I pre plan his cremation by contacting a crematorium directly? This would be a direct cremation, so I see no need to make arrangements with a funeral home.


I know some of his siblings would disapprove, so I made sure my dad included his wishes in his will.

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My opinion is yes to pre-pay. The reason being if he is a Medicaid recipient he is allowed to use up to a certain amount towards that without penalty. If he is not a Medicaid recipient it is still a good idea so that it's taken care of as his assets get used up for his medical care and housing. This is something your father's durable PoA can do for him.
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This was my brother's wish, as well. Hospice gave me the names of several trusted services and I found it quite inexpensive and easy to do. I live in expensive Calfornia but the costs were approximately 2,500. It would have been a good deal less in that I ordered way too many death certificates. I was told that many entities wanted an original. I did not find that to be true. Banks made copies and handed me back the original and many placed accepted my copy of same (credit agencies I notified, and etc).
If you wish this paid now out of Dad's funds, then certain do call in your area and pre-arrange. There is no reason not to.
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JoAnn29 Aug 2020
So many places will do it by fax. So really no different than a copy. I had 10 and think I have 7 left.
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My step Dad and my Mum have both prepaid for their cremations through a local funeral home. When my step Dad was dying I called the funeral home to confirm what the procedure was for when he died and if he died at home or in the hospital. When he did die a couple weeks later, I had the number to call in my phone and they came to get him.

We met with the funeral home people a couple days later. David had a memorial service at his Church. Because he was cremated we waited 10 days, which gave time for out of town family to attend.

I also helped to organize an uncles cremation about 18 years ago. I can confirm that it is far easier to have to planned ahead of time, whether or not you plan to have a service.
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I went through a funeral home to prepay for my mothers direct cremation. The funeral home rep was able to guide me through the state’s rules and regulations regarding the possibility of needing to plan for Medicaid in the future. Every state is different. The rep also educated me on expenses I hadn’t even thought of, such as picking up the body, storage, containers, obituary, death certificates and other fees, and I was able to pre-plan for these expenses using her funds, all while following the appropriate guidelines if I need Medicaid for her in the future. I wanted to prearrange everything ahead of time for several reasons. I wanted to make sure funds would be available. I didn’t want to run around at the last minute or make calls in the middle of the night to find a funeral home. I was able to meet and be comfortable with the facility that would be handling my mothers final arrangements. I was clear headed and relaxed when I made the prearrangements. And now, it’s done - the paperwork is all ready and it’s one less thing I need to stress about.
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Concerned43 - you might find this site helpful. Funeral Consumers Alliance. This national organization helps consumers navigate the funeral and/or disposition of body arrangements. New information on Green Burials and Home Funerals, where no funeral home need be involved, is also provided.

You are wise to plan ahead. This can be one of the more expensive purchases (although it doesn’t have to be) that we make. We shop for cars, we shop for homes, we plan weddings, but too often this event is not planned for, nor “shopped around” for. Your father is lucky to have such a thoughtful daughter.

https://funerals.org/
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Your question: "My question is should I pre plan his cremation by contacting a crematorium directly? "

I found this link that explains what a funeral home will do, and what a crematorium will do. Under crematorium, I didn't see "picking up the body" as one of the services. Be sure to confirm this or else, you might have to deliver the body to them. Eew!!! I don't want to save money on that service. But yes, working directly with a crematorium will cost less.

https://www.oneworldmemorials.com/pages/working-with-funeral-homes
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I prepaid, and when LO was diagnosed, the funeral home was an enormous support in preparing me with what to do.

By the Grace of God, LO recovered, and when I told them we’d be a while longer before using their services, they rejoiced with me that her health had returned!

I found no disadvantages to prepaying.
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My dad was cremated. I used the funeral home he chose for arrangements. They were extremely helpful. They provided many of the details I didn’t think of regarding cremation. They didn’t try to up sell or cross sell any services or products. They made it a stressful time very seamless.
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Pre-pay worked well for us. It was straight forward and covered both my parents wishes. We went through the local funeral home (very small town) and could not be happier.
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Just a thought here. If your dad is able to still make up his mind about this he might want to go the route I have planned for myself. I have donated my body to our local medical college for research. After its use they do the cremation at no cost to my family and send the cremains to whomever. I feel like it's my last useful act, it saves my family money and hassle.
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