Why should caregivers succumb to demented patients when they undertake actions that call their mental functions into play-- demented persons will not recall or acknowledge their actions--how can that be??? Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Either they are held legally liable or they should be stripped of their rights. Can't have it both ways.
Would a social worker support the man’s rights to have his guns in the house with him despite the fact that he is impaired? What if, God forbid, something DID happen? Who would be held responsible? Would the man’s family be vilified for not removing the guns by the same people who previously had protested that the man had “rights”?
Very interesting question. I am anxious to see how others will respond.
It does not follow that because you are unable to exercise legal autonomy you have no rights, and no choices. Children have rights. Unconscious patients have rights. So do people with dementia.
I agree that it can be very frustrating. You feel, for example, that your mother's safety demands 24/7 care in a facility. She has the right to refuse, and does. Then either she comes to harm, and you feel responsible even though the harm is the result of her decision; or you feel obliged to remain in her home providing 24/7 care but unwillingly and against your better judgement, and you naturally resent it.
But you have a choice there, too. You can walk. Your mother has the right to make her decisions, but not to make yours.
Moreover, decision-making ability does not have an on-off switch. You may legally have taken over the major decisions such as where she is to live, or whether she should opt for surgery. That doesn't give you the right to decide she can't see the brother you intensely dislike, or to change her diet to foods that are better for her.
What has your LO done that has driven you to the keyboard to vent today, can I ask, do you mind?
That is a GREAT question! Perhaps the bar for mental competence is too low.
”Legal” may be slightly different from “psychological, intellectual, cognitive” failure, so in our situation, the gold standard was a letter from LO’s psychiatrist with input from her medical doctor.
My LO has the right to be protected and cared for by someone who loves her, can make objective, well informed, compassionate decisions on her behalf, and always ALWAYS has her prior pre-dementia choices, intentions, and desires in mind.
As a sensitive, intelligent, responsible woman before her illness, she would want to have been prohibited (denied “rights”) from driving, using dangerous equipment, squandering her hard earned resources, and behaving in a way that would cause her to do things that would be dangerous or hurtful to others.
Do these thoughts seem to sum up rights? Any other thoughts, or anything I’ve missed?
Caregivers do not have to succumb to anything. Document the actions, document the forgetting, and document your attempts to keep them safe. All one can do is try. Do not sign anything except as POA.
This is a great topic for discussion. It's why I believe strongly that no one should take on the responsibility of caregiving for someone - dementia or not - without having financial and medical POA. Even spouses need to have that important paperwork.
Otherwise, no elderly person would ever be allowed to enter into any contract.