Anyone have a very old senior who still thinks they can drive their car?

My mother in law hit a telephone pole in a grocery store parking lot. Hit gas instead of break. That was overlooked. A few months later, she and a friend were going out lunch when she drove into the front of the restaurant. She knocked a bunch of bricks loose. She was so embarrassed when people came out of the place to see what was wrong. My brother in law told her later "What did you expect Mom? They probably thought a bomb went off." He then told her for her own safety and the safety of everyone else in Illinois, it was time to stop driving. She didn't like it. Bulled up for quite a while. But bless my bro in law for doing what was best. Do you have siblings? You could form a united front to talk to mom. You know in your heart what's best. Get going. You can do this.

In NC, you can just call and report an elderly driver at high risk without giving your name. I know a couple of people who have done this. DMV investigated and took the license, explaining that it was appropriate. If the elder is able to comprehend that they have lost their license, then that's it. If they have dementia and can't remember they no longer have a license, their keys and vehicle would need to be secured.

It's such a serious risk, I wouldn't hesitate to take action. The benefit is not worth the risks.

I am going through this problem with my husband. Right now he has been told the truck didn't pass inspection, when in reality that is partly true, but also the mechanic at the dealership where we bought the pickup is going to tell my daughter how to unable the engine so that it won't start. Also, one can have the key unabled, too. It is so frustrating, and makes me almost sick. I am so depressed over all this that I want to go to bed. But I can't, so am going to have to do what is best. He will have to take a driving test through a neurology portion of a hospital, where his license will be taken away. marymember

In a serious accident with another car, she will break a lot of bones and end up dying in a Nursing Home. In a situation where someone else gets hurt, she stands to lose everything. The opposing lawyers sue for the max and win. Here in NY three reportables in 18 months means DMV summons you for a road test, no matter how old you are. Check your state rules.

Because I wasn't able to run my parents all over the countryside and back day after day, my Dad wanted to get back behind the wheel.

I told my Dad if he is in an accident and it is his fault and someone is seriously injured or killed, he could lose his house, his savings account, his checking account, and all his stocks and bonds, all the money they saved for decades and decades... then what he and Mom have to live off of? Well, that got Dad's attention, he then decided not to try to drive again.

Of course, this could happen to any driver of any age when they aren't paying full time and attention.

Caretaker, talk to the doctor. He can arrange for her to be evaluated by an occupational therapist for driving skills. If the doc wont do this, you need a different doctor. Call up your dmv and find out how to get them to call her in for a review of her status. In the end you'll probably have to disable and/or sell the car. Find her a taxi service she can call when she wants to do errands.

In my mother's case, we went step by step, hoping things would get to the extreme they eventually did. I enlisted her neurologist's assistance -- he completed the physician's part of the paperwork for the DMV, and I completed my mother's portion on her behalf (she has dementia). The DMV rescinded her license, BUT gave her the option of appearing in person to appeal. I visited her in person and gave her the news about her license being suspended, but did NOT mention the appeals process, because I wanted this to be final (I live a ways away and work full time, and did not want the hassle, stress, and drama of dragging things out). I did my best to explain clearly, over and over, but she is confused most of the time, and outraged that this "was done to her" (she's got a huge victim mentality). She called some neighbor friends after I left, and they explained everything to her -- including the appeals process (gee, thanks for that!!!). For the next several weeks, it was all she could talk about. Called me constantly wanting more clarification, more sympathy, and obsessed about "maybe calling a lawyer??" I kept reminding her over and OVER, Groundhog Day-style, NOT to drive. I also advised her not to pursue an appeal, but if she managed to get that far, and ended up embarassed (because she can no longer pass for someone without severe cognitive impairment), then those would be the consequences she'd have to face. It was an incredibly stressful time.
Finally - about 3 weeks or so later, her neighbor called me, frantic, and said I "had to come down and take her care away NOW" because she kept driving. The neighbor would stop her as much as possible, but she couldn't be there all the time to prevent it. Anyway, removing the car immediately took another several days since I work, and couldn't get down there until the weekend.
My husband and I went down, and did the quickest visit known to man. He said hi, while I found her car key. I distracted her, gave him the key, and he took the car, and drove it away. I told her I had to run, and by the way, Andrew just took her car in for servicing since "you're not allowed to drive right now anyway". Sorry I have to run, I'll talk to you later.... and I was outa there!
She called nonstop for a few more weeks, confused and angry, demanding her car back. I had arranged home care and transportation for her as soon as I received the letter from the DMV, so she wasn't inconvenienced in any way, but she was livid.
Personally, I needed some time and space to get over this whole ordeal, so I didn't respond to her calls, and didn't call her for a good two months (keeping in regular contact with her neighbor and home care people). It wasn't until a few days ago, that she called me, and I answered. She had another question about something else, and didn't mention the car at all. I'm still keeping contact to the minimum, just in case. She is safe and looked after, I'm looking after all of her affairs from a distance that's emotionally safe for me, she seems to be getting over the whole car saga -- and her community is safer too, with one less dangerous driver on the roads. Thank goodness....

Several years ago I reported an elderly gentleman who kept bumping cars when parking in our street. He was taken to court by DMV and a couple of us testified and they took away his license. It was very very sad to have to do this but we felt people's lives could be in danger.

If you want to see a very sad story about a recent elderly driver (hit and run), read this: thedenverchannel/news/local-news/85-year-old-marshall-smith-given-probation-for-killing-woman-in-hit-and-run-on-colorado-exposition

Lawyer told me that if there was any chance of parents causing accident that they could be sued and there would be absolutely nothing left to help take care of them. One parent gladly gave up keys, but the other put up a fight. I took the keys - I do not regret it. Their doctor DID tell them that they should not be on the road and that he did not want to have to go to court to testify against them. Siblings did not agree since they live in dream world - tough!