Mom with dementia has been in assisted living for 3 weeks and talks non-stop to me about going home. Every visit and every phone call consists of pleas, demands, and rationalizations about going home. She tells me that the staff says she doesn't need to be there, the nurse practitioner says she doesn't need to be there, and that people have told her that they will come and get her whenever she wants them to. When she was at home, she always thought she was somewhere else. I would get phone calls all day and all night from her begging me to come get her and take her home (she was at home). I've tried changing the subject. I've tried discussing it with her. She hears nothing I say or she becomes very aggressive towards me. I don't know what to do. I know this is a common issue, so please share your experience with this issue.
She becomes very upset when we tell her that she lives here and will start to ask again to go home as she needs to see her mother. No matter what we say, whether it be that she lives here, or that she can go home later (hoping that this may stop the constant question) or simply by trying to distract her by changing the subject, she still continues to ask to go home.
Its such a difficult situation, not knowing what to say or do, but it seems no matter what she will continue to ask this, I hate seeing her distressed and as jg says it really is not fun, its starting feeling like ground hog day to be honest.
I hope your not having to deal with this alone and have some support, there are 3 of us who care for her and even with that many its still so frustrating, difficult, heartbreaking (the list goes on) having to constantly be the one to answer the pleas to go home.
What if you agreed with her? What if you said, Yes, I know you don't need to be there, but there is a bad problem with the sewer line on your home street, so you need to stay somewhere else for two more weeks.
It depends on what kind of dementia your mother has and what her sense of time is like, but if you can always tell her it will be "2 more weeks" and then change the subject that may at least reduce your stress level.
I feel very sorry for you. I remember when my husband constantly wanted to go home, although he was home! It is not fun, is it?