After my mother had a bowel obstruction surgery - she had a stroke and now has aphasia. she knows what she is saying and is frustrated - but we were working through it. She had lived alone - and the doctor said she needs assisted living and as she was doing so well physically she didn't need a residential nursing home. We had 3 days to find a place and thougth we found the best fit. We moved her yesterday - and although she was upset with it - she seemed to accept it. This morning I received a call - she was very angry and had packed all of her things. My daugher called me and said she was freaking out. By the time we got there - she had gone through the home screamed at everyone and started throwing things. She refused to take her meds or eat. She also has a bladder infection - we were finally able to calm her down a little and she did take her antibiotic - but I am just not sure how to handle this. There really has been very little direction from rehab - and we just got in the assisted living. I am afraid they are going to ask her to leave. I should also say - she was not very kind before the stroke and could say some very hurtful things to people. I just need some direction on how to help her transition. I feel like I have a 130lb 4 year old.
Can you negotiate with her to try for 30 days or so and in the meantime tell her you will look into home health care (provided she can afford especially if she needs 24/7 supv) but explain to her you can't make promises and together, you will get input from the doctors and staff what is in her best interest and you only want to make sure she is happy, healthy and safe.
It does take awhile to adjust and she has just been robbed of some control and you get the brunt...
Take a deep breath and have peace knowing you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Also, tell her you have to get back to your family and job and will keep in touch (maybe call her every other day after work). It will be bumpy; but be sure you talk to staff as well as your mom once you leave as they may give you a different perspective on her behavior than she tells you over the phone. The distance and returning to your family will be a good break and put this chaotic situation in perspective for you as well once you get back in your own home environment.
Hang in there.