My mom's has had a 24/7 caregiver so her savings account is running out and I have to find more money. I'm looking into a reverse mortgage, but the fee's are high. Has anyone used a reverse mortgage? If so, please share your experiences, good and bad.
My mother lived to be 94 & there were times I’d think what would be the next step if she out lived her money, but that didn’t happen.
Even if you do a reverse mortgage, that money won't last long.
Can you sell her house and move her in with family, and still have a full-time caregiver?
It may be time to sell the house and find an appropriate assisted living or nursing home arrangement.
I wish you well.
It would seem to me she would be better off to sell the house and move into assisted living. I have done this sort of thing it was hard but, neither she or I are going to get any younger. If she needs that kind of help now she probably won't get better.,
But you really, really need to be careful. My father got one when he needed cash for an emergency. My father did not manager his finances well. He kept saying that he never planned to live so long, he live until he was 85. My mother is 90 and still going, in the house.
One big thing to remember is that YOU need to pay your real estate taxes and home owners insurance. The mortgage, unlike a traditional mortgage, they are not putting money in escrow for your taxes and home owners insurance. When my father died, he was literally 5 days away from losing his house due to foreclosure for unpaid real estate taxes and lapsed home owners insurance. Luckily, for my mother, the foreclosure was stopped due to my father's death.
No one else lives there, just mom, so there's no spouse or co-borrower to take on additional burdens, just the heirs who will have to deal with it. Frankly I'd just as soon hand it back to the bank and say "here." But again, that's our situation. I have a long history with that house and growing up in it, and if I never had to deal with it again it'd suit me fine.
Now in the case of my mother in law who has one, and has had one for a long time, she needs to sell and move back to our state. My mom has only had her reverse mortgage a few years, whereas my mother in law got hers right at 65 and she's 81 now. She has to sell in a state with a lower COL to come back to one of the most high COL states in the country. She needs cancer treatment out here. THAT one is our biggest worry.
When my boss's wife had passed, the RM wanted their money back immediately. He could no longer stay in the family home which he and the grown children had loved. He was forced to sell so the RM loan could be paid. It was within days after the funeral that he had to put the house up for sale.
Back then, RM wouldn't let the remaining spouse continue to live in the house, even if the spouse was able to maintain the cost of staying (which my boss could easily do). Thank goodness that rule no longer applies with today's reverse mortgages. If he was allowed to stay, the house would have grown in equity to give him funds for his own retirement.
Thus, read the fine print.
Would I tell others to do it? Yes, if there is no other option AND you take time to plan ahead for when the money runs out. Do realize that if you don't pay back the reverse mortgage before trying to sell, it will make the sales process much more complicated. I am so glad to be out from under the reverse mortgage but glad that it carried us through for four years.
My Dad was finding trying to maintain his house was getting to be too much for him, as he was the type that wanted to do things himself, but being in his mid 90's, he couldn't anymore. He loved having his caregivers but it was becoming quite expensive. At senior living he had a nice apartment for $5,000 per month. He had weekly housekeeping and linen service, meals in the restaurant style dining room, activities, cable TV for the first time ever (never had it at home), and if anything needed fixing he just dialed maintenance dept. Oh, he brought along one of his caregivers to help him from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. This gave him a routine that needed.
Dad sold his house and used the equity for his apartment rent at senior living facility, and to pay for his morning caregiver. He put the vast amount from the sale into investments which helped his savings grow. No more worries about property taxes, utility bills, lawn mowing, shoveling snow in the driveway... he really liked having this freedom at his stage of life :)
In general, along with irrevocable trust, I don't like Reverse Mortgages. In general, along with a FEW things like LTC insurance I think you need really great advice. But I don't think we can blanket statement condemn then when they work so well for some. I have personal experience on this one.
@ SouthernWaver
So very rare that I disagree with you, SouthernWaver. But here I do. Never say never. Read my post below. It worked marvelously well for my partner's mom when she was VERY house RICH and very CASH POOR. It allowed her to stay in her Carefree AZ home where she could have her bed by the window looking out at the little desert pool she created for wildlife, getting checked on daily for a few hours. She was thrilled. Partner was thrilled. And she got to die at home as she wished.
In general, along with irrevocable trust, I don't like Reverse Mortgages. In general, along with a FEW things like LTC insurance I think you need really great advice. But I don't think we can blanket statement condemn then when they work so well for some. I have personal experience on this one.
Sell the house, then use the proceeds to pay for care. Easy and simple.
This is an "it all depends" (see my note below), and is something, like LTC insurance and irrevocable trust to approach CAREFULLY and with expert advice. It is something that, if you go about it unknowingly, may have an enormous and "unfixable" cost.
I have represented people who have done that and not in one case was the outcome good. Seniors who could no longer sustain living in their home and had to go to a facility, having spent what they received from the reverse mortgage and thus left with nothing for their care.
Costs and interest rates are high, I would look for a different alternative.
This worked very well for my partner's mom who wanted to stay in her own home with her own visiting caregivers. She was able to do so by the amount monthly she was given and the amount she had saved added to her SS. She managed to die at home.
The home was eventually then sold by her son, and the mortgage loan for the reverse mortgage paid off (they generally have quite high interest). Essentially these are loans on the home.
The problem occurs often in THIS screnario:
1. Senior becomes way too ill to be home even with one on one caregiver (which requires more money than a reverse mortgage will give.
2. Senior leaves home to enter care.
3. Because Senior now has SS AND funds monthly for reverse mortgage she may be too high in monthly income to easily qualify for medicaid.
4. Now that the senior has left the home and cannot return the reverse mortgage "loan" is almost immediately called and due to be paid.
5. Home is sold; reverse mortgage loan is paid. Senior remains in care with remains of sale of home.
This as I said works for some and is a real bad choice for others.
You need to find out WHICH
And only an expert can help you decide.
Good luck.
bogleheads.org
I recently saw someone post the question on Nextdoor.com ("Are reverse mortgages a good idea?") and there were innumerable responses (60+ and counting), most of them were emphatic "no" and a few were "it depends". None were "yes, they're great". Don't do one unless you know exactly what the consequences will be.
Why not just sell her house?