example, my mother was in the bathroom and i went to the door and asked if she needed help. she responded very mean no, not from you. I asked her what was wrong she responded "what is wrong with you?" I replied "nothing but why are you being so hateful?" She replied you are the hateful one and you are no longer my sister. (by the way I am her daughter)...... I said I am sorry you feel that way and left the room.
If it is safe to do so (you are not in the middle of giving her a shower, etc.) then leaving the room for a few minutes may be best. Certainly don't react, get mad, correct her, defend yourself, or otherwise disagree with her. When she said she didn't need any help from you, you might have asked if she needed help from anyone, to get at what you needed to know. But I think you handled this well.
Tonio
My Mom would have never said anything to upset me or anyone else, but the disease took over!
I realize if I keep my mouth shut and walk away she comes to me later with an apology. But if I argue or try to correct her she'll stew all day... Soooo, keep my trap shut is the way I go!!!
BUT I do find leaving the room is best for ME - because even though I wish I were a duck at times - I am not :0( I am a burnt out caregiver trying to do the best I can with very little help. Agingcare saved my sanity! THANK YOU ALL.
I like the duck analogy--just let it roll off my back. Walk away and forget it, since she will!!
Great advice.
I read that as 'Just be a doormat and accept abuse with your mouth shut because the disease requires it, then all will be well. (That's nothing against you, JG, you know I love your posts)
I can't get with the program. If these elderly people are abusive, verbally or physically, put them in a NH already. Nobody, and I don't care what the reason is, should have to deal with daily abuse and torture because these elderly are so far gone mentally that they don't know what they're doing anymore. If they don't know what they're doing anymore and become abusive, verbally or physically, they need to be with professionals that can handle them, rather than staying home and making everyone around them miserable. Just because the elderly have a disease doesn't make constant abuse less painful or easier to handle.
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