How can I remove the cat my mother loves even though she can't care for it?

Yes, the "Feliway" that I mentioned earlier comes in a plug-in diffuser, and they are great for multi-cat environments or during adjustment periods. They do tend to be expensive to use over time, but I've had good luck with those too. I still like the spray. I'd like to also say that I feel that NASTY remarks are uncalled for!!! If "leslaning" didn't CARE, she wouldn't have asked for help, and kitty would already be in a new home. Anyone who has tried to hold down a job and take care of their own household knows that a two-hour drive (four for round trip, I'm guessing) is no small feat, and things get soooo exhausting. Everyone's life and experiences are different, and you can't know all the details. We all need to be kind to each other here, because nobody would be on this site if they weren't trying to do right by their loved ones...hopefully

You can also go to a pet store n buy something like a diffuser that will help calm the cat to prevent the spray. First take the cat to the vet to see what is going on with him. Cats r very clean animal n they don;'t like a dirty potty box. You can also buy a spritz water bottle n pour about 1 cup of water to 4 tbls of vinagar where he is spraying to prevent him from doing it again. Of course the place may smell like vinagar. That cat is like a child to her n if the cat is gone you may be dealing with a bigger issue soon afterward. It be n healthier to find why the cat is spraying in first place n the vet can give you the answer. here is a website that explains why n what can be

PAY ATTENTION! she said that she would take the cat to the vet and try to enlist a caretaker for the cat.

no one need be mean to her!!! some of you got quite out of hand. she is one of us you know, a daughter dealing with a frustrating situation. be kind.

Getting rid of the cat would break your Mom's heart.
I agree about taking the cat to the vet's to check for a UTI and keeping the litter box clean. Have the caregiver scrub the inside and outside of the litter box occasionally, too.

I would like to add that after the area where kitty peed is cleaned up, have her caregiver use vinegar to neutralize the odor.

There are other things on the market that do basically the same thing but vinegar is inexpensive and has worked well for me when my cats have peed on clothing, floors or carpets. After the cleaning with vinegar, I then use another pleasant smelling cleaner to get rid of the vinegar smell.
I believe that cats will urinate in the same spot if they can still smell their own urine.

My beloved maltese dog died in February and when I told my 89 year old mother and father of his death they became inconsolable. They loved him with all their heart and he kept them entertained, happy and engaged for many years. The only time that I saw my Dad cry or mother hysterical was when their parents died. He truly was special and kept my parents alive. (The vet bills could have purchased a luxury car- it was all worth it and I would do it again)

Please do everything in your power to keep your mother's furry friend. The suggestions on this post are wonderful.

I may be crazy but I brought home a "rescue dog", six weeks ago. He is loving, adorable, a challenge, and needs training. Two months ago, he was severely underweight, had anxiety attacks, had an eye operation, was matted and shaved, walking the streets and had bite marks on his face (maltese/poodle mix). Today, he is wagging his tail, playing with toys, visiting a nursing home, his hair is growing and he is becoming quite an adorable little guy. Mom follows him around the house, plays with him, feeds him and calls him honey. He is a new project and she now has another focus and something to love (dad is in a nursing home now). As I write this post I am listening to a conversation that mom is having with Charle. She taught him to shake and he is now receiving a treat. (Training another dog,getting up at 5:30 am, it is all worth it)

Please do not give Kitty away. There is a solution for almost everything!

Several ODOR ABSORBING LITTER BOXES.
FRESH WATER
CALL THE VET ABOUT PROPER FOOD at it's age.
plug in some air fresheners/pop up ones..etc..
Open windows a bit..so it can look out also.please
God's blessings to God's silent Creatures.

oh gosh sakes!!
SAVE the CAT..it has nothing to do wrong..change it's cat litter..provide catnip..grass/oats grownin a pot..CLEAN WATER.HEALTHY APPROPRIATE FOOD.TREATS..CAN THIS PRECIOUS CAT LOOK OUT THE WINDOW..IS IT UNDER STRESS there....IT IS THE SMELLS IN perhaps the house is not being cared for..or toilets not being flushed ..
just GOOD LITTER/Clean litter..CLEAN WATER/APPROPRIATE FOOD.
Please.
these are SOLUTIONS
as a Vet Assistant..there are many Natural things you can do for it.
MAIN: Clean LITTER
Clean Water
Appropriate Food for its age..fresh air/window to breath out of..
Could be under Stress in the environment..I am positive.
God's Creature's cannot talk..but, they do this to show that they are Stressed.

The cat obviously needs to go to the vet. What kind of heartless person would want to take away the last tiny bit of comfort your mother has in the world? Pay the caregiver a little extra for cleaning up after the cat and you can take the cat to the vet to see what is wrong. There are plenty of odor neutralizers at Petsmart to completely eradicate the cat odor. Consider your mother! Be sure the cat is spayed/neutered. I want to send hugs to everyone who has supported the mother and her cat. You have your hearts in the right places.

I found the plug-in product, it is called Feliway. It helped in my case.

Please try to find anther way to solve this problem, the cat probably as a uti, been there with my own cat. I had to take my dads truck keys away from him for his own safety in december 2011, on February 5 I found him on the floor where he had been for quite a while, our life changed that day. He has been in the nursing home since its not all bad e is in the oom with my mom so they are together again. My point is when I took his truck keys on dec. 17 he lost his will to live. Is truck was his life. My dads dementia progressed so far some days he doesn't know me. If you take her best friend you will change everything about her, she could lose the will to live. Your pet is your best friend, there's no telling how many secrets tht cat knows. Please let us know what you decide to do.

My vet says that two litter boxes in different locations is the first step to solving this problem (if there is no UTI). Also there are scents you plug in an outlet, humans don't smell it, but it calms cats down and helps eliminate this behavior, google it....

Lots of good suggestions here already. The only thing I would add is to perhaps set out a couple of other litter boxes in areas where the cat is reported to be urinating inappropriately. I have been fulltime caregiver for my 92 year old mother-in-law with dementia for over a year now. When I took this on, it involved me moving out of my house about 20 miles away, where my husband, 3 cats and one adult son still live) and staying in her house with her. I was concerned about my oldest cat, and when my mother-in-law said one say that she thought she would like a cat (she never had cats and only one dog briefly during her married life) I took the opportunity to bring my oldest one along. It has been very good for both the cat and me. My MIL has basically ignored the cat, and the cat pretty much ignores her. If I suddenly had to face being without the cat, I would be a wreck. This may sound crazy, but this cat has been an amazingly good companion for me here the past 16 months, and has been one of my most therapeutic resources. I can only imagine how hard it would be on my MIL if she were the one attached to the cat and we were to get rid of it. Try everything you can before getting rid of the cat, for the sake of your mother and the cat. Good luck!

Pay her care giver a little extra money to clean the cat box and to do the other chores associated with the cat including taking the cat to the vet to be sure there is no problems. Older cats get thyroid disease and that can also cause the urination problems but can easily be taken care of with medication and your Mom could then keep her friend especially since you live so far away.

Your mother has suffered enough losses in her life (obviously a spouse, independence, health, home, personal belongings,etc) please don't make her suffer the loss of her best friend. Pets become 'family' to replace the family that is seldom there. They are a great source of comfort. Please be compassionate enough towards your mother in her last days/months/years to ensure she has at least some small enjoyment and companionship as provided by her beloved cat. Make the minute effort to have her cat checked by a vet for the cause, as suggested. Also, there is a product called 'Anti-icky-poo' that works on urine stains. That company also make products especially for urine stains, also. And, don't rule out the fact that the caregiver(s) may not be treating the cat well - this may be his/her only way to say that something isn't right in that environment. After all, they can't speak to tell us. Animals don't intentionally do things to 'get back at us', etc, so this behavior is a cat's attempt to communicate some type of problem.

Thank all of you for your kind input. We will visit the vet and I'll try to find someone who can help with the cat care.

you should take care of it for her if she loves that cat,let her enjoy it anyway she can, you take it to a shelter they will kill it.

PLEASE take the cat to the vet and get mutiple litter boxes if necessary. Cats don't spray for no reason. This cat is imprortant to your mom!..!!

Your mom, the cat, and you need to find a solution as detailed above. I'd start with the caregiver and enlist her support to keep the cat for your mom's companionship. (Hope caregiver likes cats, even naughty pee shooters!) Have cleaners to clean the smell and see if vet can check the cat's health. Let's hope this will end happily for all.

GREAT ANSWERS EVERYONE! I agree, keep the cat no matter what, hire someone if you have to and get it to the Vet. A cat/animal is THERAPY and it would be devastaing to get rid of it!!!!!!

Please don't get rid of your mothers cat its her possesion and has every right to kep it I sugest that you or someone take the cat to the vet aaaand use arm and hammoer cat litter best litter to have i have 6 cats you dont even know i have them no odors i hope the cat is fixed. i'm a big animal lover i use to work as a vet tech. this wouild really breaqk your mothers heart if you took her cat away from her, use the litter i recommend and take her to the vet. give the cat sometime to also adjust to new surroundings also if shes missing the box when you clean up use some baking soda that will remove the odors in the house.. your mom would really be devistated tio her her pet taken from her have a hear t let her keep her pet. I would never tqke something aaway form ymom she lovedpets are therapy to the elders my mom didnt heve cats iwas her care taker i lost her a year ago.. your moms cat is very comforting to her . to take thaqt cat away she would be very heart broken i feel for her if that were to happen,.

Since you live only two hours away from your mom, make it a point to visit her regularly and when you visit her, then you can clean up the cat pee. Also set up more cat boxes around the apt. so the cat has more places to pee. I use shredded newspaper for cat litter because its free. I gather newspaper from my friends. But bottom line is that your mom needs that cat and you are being very insensitive by taking it away.

Oh, and also - what "catwoman" said about the automatic food and water things (gravity fed ones can be great), and the automatic litter cleaner would be so worth the money, if she has it. And I heard what you said about living two hours away, so if you can pay anyone to do this for her, she'd probably prefer that to any other things she spends her money on. Okay, really, I'm done now!

I AM A LONG TIME EXPERT WITH THIS ISSUE!!! URGENT! PLEASE do not take away her cat, BUT, you can decrease the urination issue using PHEROMONES and the other things I am going to explain here! These calm a cat, and reduce urine marking and clawing. My vet told me about them, and they REALLY do work. More about that later. But, here's the full secret to solving the problem (and I've had to solve it many times, trust me), and preventing GUILT you will never get over (I know about that, too):
1. It can be a little expensive up front, but I would get the carpet cleaned (I like steam extraction type cleaning the best). Sears does best job I've ever seen - as I checked it before and after with UltraViolet light, and they search and pre-treat animals spots before cleaning, but they are pricey. Stanley Steemer does well also, and might cost less. Whoever does it, make them give you a solid quote on everything before starting. Failing that, maybe you can get help renting an extraction unit and doing it yourself, since AL apartments are small. But I don;t find that it's much cheaper once you buy the supplies. Also, if you can afford it, have them apply stain repellant (tell them it MUST be cat-safe, most are). Get mom and kitty out of the room for this experience! Bring a carry-case for kitty, and take them somewhere, because it takes about 8 hours to dry to be safe for elderly to walk on.
2. Then OF COURSE, the litter box must be cleaned daily, and if you can fit an extra box into room (i.e. one near bed, one in bathroom?), please do!!! That way, if a day gets missed, the cat has options. My four love to pick and choose from their boxes throughout house. I now use the new "Cat's Pride Fresh and Light Fragrance Free" (lots of funny ads on teevee, you've probably seen them, I buy it at Walmart to save money, GREAt stuff). do NOT buy deodorizer litters; many cats do NOT like chemical fragrance, and will AVOID using those litters, REALLY. I've seen cats get ready to enter a fresh box of deodorizer litter, sniff it, then turn around to go pee on the floor. Or, you can use the Arm and Hammer Baking Soda with no artificial scents, it's cheaper but I don't think it's as easy to clean as that new stuff - it clumps great, and my cats LOVE it.
3. If kitty still has an accident, and mom can't blot right away, the stain repellant will buy you some time. First, clean and check the litter for normal activity (you should see about 4-5 clumps of litter per day for most cats, plus their poop, of course). If it seems like there wasn't much litter action, use an UltraViolet light (buy at any large pet goods store), dim the lights as much as you can, and go on a urine search - it will bounce right up at you, like purple splashes! Then, use plain cool water - pour it on and BLOT dry, check with UV light again. Stain repellant should have made this work pretty well, which is why it's worth the extra cost to have it applied. Then, spray on a oxidizing spray on the spot(again, get at large pet store) like "OUT! Oxy-Fast Stain and Odor Remover" or something similar. You can use Febreeze, but it doesn't work as well. After that, the UV light usually shows an "all clear" with no more purple splashes. Then, the BEST part...
4. Have some Nutri-Vet "Pet-Ease Pheromone Plus Spray" or something similar (I've had best luck with this one, but there are others for sure) - it has calming pheromone extract, plus Valerian and St. John's Wart in it. Spray a light spray over the top of the previously stained area, just in case. ALSO, keep other items in the room sprayed, like kitty's favorite bed or sleeping blanket, and this decreases the cat's need to do urine marking and keeps them feeling calm and confident. Often, cats use urine to mark because they are nervous about protecting their territory or loved ones, and even the Aide entering the mom's room is seen as a threat. If you keep kitty calm and secure (and provide some catnip toys to prevent boredom), it makes a huge difference in their behavior. If furniture scratching is a problem, or the cheaper pheromones don't work, invest in a tiny spray can of "Feliway" because boy, does IT work miracles (Vets totally will back me up on this). It is actual feline facial pheromones, which are very calming, and really prevents marking behaviors and scratching. But it costs a fortune. I use it on my furniture (no scratches! I spray scratching posts with catnip, and that's what they choose), and I use the cheaper spray on beds or places I want to be their comfort and sleeping zones.
I KNOW!!! This sounds like a lot, but once you equip the arsenal, you will easily follow these steps in your sleep, and stay on top of it, and can provide the BEST GIFT you could ever give your mother. Having to remove a pet from a senior is like having to take a baby from a new mother; it breaks their heart beyond imagining, and can adversly affect their health. Cats are proven to lower blood pressure, and improve mood and behavior in seniors - most nursing homes keep them around because of that, and have visiting animal therapy programs too. I have long experience both in that area, and with problem cats who, because of disruptive environments (often with other animal smells, which is why I always have carpet cleaned first), who refuse to use litter and go around marking. The above methods have NEVER failed me - so glad they have all these products now. Also, never use any ammonia cleaners anywhere, ever!!! Cats mistake it for pee, and feel the need to cover it with their own.
ALL THAT SAID, have the cat checked by VET for UTIs, as mentioned by everyone above! Also for diabetes which can cause excessive thirst and urination, and anything else they say. You can ask the Vet to read my advice here (I have many firends who are Vets, who very much agree with my methods, plus, they work!). and get more input. Also, if the cat was a Tom, and was neutered late, he may persist no matter what. I sure hope not.
I had to find a new home for my mother's dog. but it was because dogs need to get out, both for elimination needs, and to play. Her dog got neurotic, and besides being nervous being forced to pee/poop all over the floors because she never let him out, which he knew from early traing was wrong, he started sitting and staring up at her constantly, following her to bathroom door and sitting loudly whining until she came out, etc., and just losing his mind overall. She forgot to give him food and water, and if I missed a day, he was without them for too long. When it becomes about the animal's welfare, you have to make that choice. But, it still nearly killed me, and I can't even think about it now. Cats, thankfully, need very little, and CAN use their litter, if you follow all the above suggestions. PLEASE let me know how this turns out! Obviously, if you can stand to put forth this tremendous effort, you will be the HERO of everyone here!!!!!!!!!! Plus the hero of your mom and her cat - or even if not, your reward is in Heaven, right! And knowing you did the best you could in the thing most important to her during her aging, which is the hardest thing we all face.

Please, please don't take your mom's best friend from her. Cats usually have urinary tract infections when they do what you are describing. Also, there is simple medication that can be given to help the situation. My dog helped me through learning that I have COPD even though I have never smoked. He is the one creature that loves me unconditionally, and your mother probably feels the same way about her cat. Best wishes.

When visiting independent care facilities that permitted pets, they also had the option of paying a fee for them to take care of the pets. Please look into that as an option. I would have given anything for my mom to have a cat to help alleviate her extreme loneliness, but she would have none of it. Obviously, there is a problem that has to be resolved, and its a real problem if it's gotten to the point that the cat thinks the whole room is his litterbox. I find the automated scoop litter box is very helpful. I cover the receptacle with a plastic grocery bag, and replace it once a week. (depends on cat size). Also I use an automatic 5 day feeder...and both make cat care much easier.

if the cat must go let it come vist,that way your ma gets use to it being gone slowing,start by takeing the cat ., to the vet,and tell the vet may be he/her might be able to help.,the right answer is there some time we just have to look outside the norm .your ma well do whats she thinks is best for the cat,you can see were iam going with this,good luck,god bless!

Absolutely do not get rid of the cat. Consult a vet and find out what is causing the problem and get it fixed. Taking a pet away from an elderly person who loves them is just a kind of torture for them, and it's the equal of taking a child away from them. Some of them will give up on you and die; I've seen that happen.
It might be inconvenient for you and you may think that the caregiver doesn't like doing that job. That is a part of the caregiver's job. If he/she doesn't like it, get another caregiver who understands the value of a pet to the elderly. Pets keep them healthy, reduces blood pressure, and keeps them emotionally engaged in life.
Plus, if you did this to your mother, she would never, ever forgive you.

Cat spraying can be, as others have said, a reaction to cat stress. I wonder if there are other cats in nearby apartments, or if the cat is hearing other animals, or perhaps seeing another cat out the window. They spray to mark their territory.
White clear vinegar -- buy it in a huge jug for a couple of bucks at any supermarket -- will go a long way to mask the odor of cat spraying. Put it in a spray bottle and use it where the cat has already sprayed, and that should help a lot. Changing the litter box regularly is also a great idea. Also, I second the idea to take the cat to the vet and rule out health reasons for this behavior.
If you go to the pet store, you will see also that they sell some pheremone hormonal products that enhance feline happiness. I used some of these -- even a gel that the cat would lick from my fingers -- to make my cats happier.
I hope that you all find a solution to what is making the cat so stressed out. As others have said, it would be hard for someone who lives alone to give up their only pet.
Rose

PLEASE don't just throw the companion cat out..it has no way to talk to you..perhaps Mom is making it nervous.
God's creatures. YOU just can't eject it for having to live there.
Needs Love too.clean the litter box for it..get GOOD CAT LITTER.
&PERHAPS IT IS THE FOOD..and make sure has CLEAN WATER.
Not to blame the poor cat.please. BETTER CAT LITTER, FOOD, CLEAN WATER.PLEASE.

Shame on you.