I am 55 and a full time, live in caregiver for my mother who has mid-stage Alzheimer's. No major health problems. Every year my primary care doctor urges me to take a vacation for my health and ultimately for my mother’s continued well being (me being healthy enough to continue to take care of her). Sounds all well and good, but I am sure mom would feel abandoned and confused while I was away from her. Would she be permanently set back? Her neurologist says yes. Okay, case closed. But I am interested in feedback pro or con on this issue. By the way, having someone stay with her at home is out of the question because I don’t have anyone I can trust anyone with that responsibility.
I you think she can handle it, approach it like a vacation for HER. Give her all the re-assurance you possibly can that you are not leaving her behind, and call her everyday.
You are doing the right thing by taking the time now to take care of yourself while your Mom is still well enough to deal with this SHORT absence. You will return refreshed and better able to take care of her both physically and mentally.
Please write me and let me know what you decide. We are all in this together, and remember, there are lots of us out here that will support you.
Sue
She felt much better leaving him at respite care at the facility where he was checked on regularly, in safe environment and had his meals and some socialization. She was more relaxed on her trip as well.
This took some planning and visiting facilities filling out necessary paperwork, dr reports, etc. but she did this in advance. Also she took him in 2 days before her trip to get him settled, then visited him once before she left. She also was able to come home a couple days before picking him up so that gave her a few extra days front end and back end of the trip to relax and get re-organized. She said she would definitely do it this way again.
Arbor Glen had her son and daughter telephone numbers for emergencies.
Its about $165/day -- but well worth it if you can budget as part of your trip. Hey, thats cheaper than taking the person with you! Its also cheaper than CNA 24/7 while you are away.
I would approach your mom and say, this is a vacation for you at the club while I'm away. "we'll get to share our memories together when I get back" -- "mom, make sure you tell me all about your fun activities and outings"; "mom, I hear they have wonderful food at this club; you'll get treated like a queen"...Maybe leave her with a calendar, marked off when you will be back, the activities you will do when you return, etc.
Good luck.