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My mother in law is dying. Her only child, my husband, does not have the Health Care Proxy nor Power of Attorney. (She set it up when he was 15, and she never changed it.)

Her HCP/POA does not like me. She is prohibiting me from visiting her in Hospice and from attending the (eventual) funeral. (She has had her feeding tube removed and is on "comfort measures only.")

I just want to be able to say, "Good Bye." My husband has tried to reason with her and has gotten no where. Is there anything I can do? If I show up, can she prevent me from visiting? Legally ...

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For spite, my mother has ordered the Nursing Home where my father is not to let me take him out for the day. She has POA however this is not specified in the document. My other siblings can take him out. My father does have some dementia but is aware of this situation. Does my mother have this legal right?
Thank You
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I have a brother that is my mothers health care proxy and he will not allow me or anyone in the family to see her . She is 91 years old and very ill. Does he have legal right to prevent us from seeing her? She is in a nursing home.
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My sister has POA over my mom...I went to see her and and was refused to see my mom,now she claims she has the right to whatever she wants...can she do this.Claims my mom doesn't know who I am well she does she remembers my friend as well...She went as far as calling security to have me removed now does she have this right?I understand that she only has say over my mom's money and nothing else and is there something I can do ?
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a) I expect so. If the court-appointed guardian believes it is in your mother's best interests to keep you away from her, he would have the power to do it. It would be a pretty drastic step and he would have to have substantial, relevant reasons to justify this course of action.

b) I wouldn't have thought so, no. Guardianship, like POA, would on the death of the ward. Moreover it would be impossible for the guardian to claim that this would protect your mother's best interests, for obvious reasons. That doesn't mean, of course, that nothing can be done by anybody to prevent you attending. If other mourners would be unhappy to see you there and have very good reasons for it, no doubt they would consult about their options.

So I have to ask: what the heck?

And I also have to notice that that's pretty much what I said to the last question. What a coincidence!
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Can a guardian assigned by the state (KY) prevent a daughter from seeing 83 yr mother in long term care facility? Also, can the guardian prevent daughter from attending mother's funeral?
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Your uncle's power of attorney obliges him to act in your grandfather's best interests first, and as your grandfather would wish if he were deciding for himself second. It follows that if your uncle can demonstrate that your presence is not in your grandfather's best interests - if, for example, he can show that there is a significant possibility that you would exploit or distress your grandfather - then he would be acting correctly preventing you from visiting him.

So without asking you to lay out a confession, I suggest you consider whether your uncle would have any reason to believe that your presence in your grandfather's life would be undesirable.

Otherwise, it is difficult to see what problem your uncle would have with your attending your grandmother's memorial service. He certainly would have had no power to prevent your attendance unless it was to protect other vulnerable family members e.g. your grandfather.

You don't have to answer of course, but we're bound to be curious - what on earth have you done to p*ss him off that badly?
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I have an uncle who has power of attorney for my grandfather. He had it for my grandmother before she died in December. When she was in hospital dyig , he told nurse and security, if I showed up, have me arrested even though there was no restraining order. Then when my grandmother died, I wanted to attend memorial to come say goodbye. I had plane ticket and was ready to leave for airport and got call that if I showed up, I would be arrested-again- no restraining order- just power went to his head. Now my grandfather is in poor health and I want to see him. Can my uncle since he has power of attorney , prevent me from showing up at my grandfathers home?
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While I understand the original questioner's stance, I am currently going through a medical crisis with my husband of 45 yearswho has 3 children from a previous marriage. I am his health care POA, financial POA, and beneficiary. When placing him in hospital as well as PT rehab, we were asked specifically if there was anyone that should not be allowed to visit, at that time I said no as my husband was unable to answer for himself because he has dementia along with his other medical condition. However, it was obvious to me had I said yes and named someone, the wishes would have been honored. His one son has been particularly disruptive, not obeying visiting hours, being very loud, and trying to undermine my medical decisions. I believe he is even trying to revoke my POA. I haven't banned him from seeing his father but have advised the nurses to remove him if he causes any problems. One nurse came close to having security remove him. So, I believe there are two sides to this coin. Having a healthcare POA means that person trusts you with their lives and to make the decisions they are unable to make. As to the funeral, a healthcare POA, no longer is in effect after death.
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Sadly, it depends on how gullible the care facility is.

We have a dear friend at Clarity Pointe in Fayetteville - - the POA told them to admit NO visitors, allow NO phone calls, and to return all mail to senders.

The POA doesn't have that power, but Clarity Pointe obeyed anyway, and our dear friend has been, for weeks and weeks, completely isolated from everyone back home who wants to visit, phone, or even send cards.

You're right that Clarity Pointe should check the actual document, because POA has no right to do any of this, but they don't. It's unbelievably inhumane, but they don't check.
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Can an administrator keep a friend from visiting?
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It sounds as though your MIL conveyed the impression to her friends that she did not have a good relationship with you and didn't want to see you. What do you hope to accomplish by seeing her? If you believe would give her comfort to see you, that's one thing. If however, it would give you comfort to see her, that's another. Sometimes people are too timid to say what they really feel to another, especially when it could affect another more important relationship, like with her son. Find your own peace in knowing that you were the best DIL you could be and cared for and about her. Don't make her last days a fight to prove it. Good luck.
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I am poa over my ex husband and we live together. Can his family stop me from being in hospil room if he becomes really sick and cant say what he wants. I have med and financial poa
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this is unfortunate..i to shaer a visitation isssue whereby a family member is manipulating our mother, having sign recinding notices, calling banks, changing issurance beneficiaries etc..all the things from the movies..my sister and i are the POA's and Health proxy but are powerless to his visits and coercions...we aer now considering guardianship but mom although incapicitated is still sound of mind with mild demencia...such a sad situation...and the facility is powerless because ombudsman and my mom allow this..she is in maternal mode and doesnt want to hurt his feelings..but he is destroying her.
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bb
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Can a medical POA keep information from the siblings? My sister (POA) has always hated me and kicked me out of a medical meeting with the ICU doctors and ethics committee who has been taking care of my father who has been in a coma and on life support for 13 weeks with no hope of recovery. He is 91. The drs said if she has POA, then I had to follow her wishes and I had to leave. What happens in the meetings, she does not share with the family, so 4 of us have no idea what is going on. What can I do?
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my uncle has poa of my mother,whos in the hospital waiting to go into a nurseing home does he the poa have the right to say i cant take her out to lunch tks
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my sister is poa for my mom, my mom is in a nursing home long term care i think.
my sister is vindictive, mean, nasty, psychotic,and has been for years abusing her poa power,she thrives on power she is crazy.she told me a couple of times that she is going to make sure in all her power that i do not get any money from my mother. my mother said yes tony she wants all of my money. so now my mom has dementia and my sister drove my mom into a nursing home and now is not telling me where my mom is or where she does not answer phone calls, i have no way of communicating with her. i have no restraining order against me.me and my mom have been living and seeing each other happily for over 50 years, phoning each other too every day.she is jealous of me because she knows how much my mom hates her for not being a part of my family for 40 years so now my mom wants to give me her money or split it but my sister wants all of her money and house. leaving me with nothing. yes, my mom was under deress when she signed her over to poa, now my mom wants me to be poa or split the poa and my sister will not even agree to that, so how can i see my mom.
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Also download this PDF File its got all the facts about this issue.
canhr/reports/VisitationRightsGuide.pdf
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On a personal note. I was in the same situation and ended up hiring a Family Attorney. First I gave him a copy of the document my Dad had prepared so he could read through it.
He then wrote a strongly worded letter to the hospital and the POA saying there was nothing within the scope of power giving the POA the power to control visitations and to uphold the request to bar your visitations was illegal.
He demanded an immediate cease and desist or further legal action will be taken notice.
That did the trick. They laid down like sack of potatoes.
It cost me about 600.00 but it was worth every penny.
Most people don’t the POA’s because they just don’t know the scope of their power. It’s not uncommon for them to over step the limits of their power and it’s really is a problem
Read this article about visitation rights, it's really an eye opener.
legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary/Visitation+Rights
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While the authority given depends on the type of Power of Attorney in question (e.g., General, Health Care or Durable Power of Attorney), this power generally does not entail preventing visitation. However, your father has decision-making powers with respect to the visitors he receives. If your father does not want to see you, the nursing facility will likely honor his wishes. Conversely, if you have not visited the nursing facility, attempt to do so and see whether you are able to see your father. You can also contact the State’s Ombudsman€™s Office and make a report of the situation, which may refer the case to the appropriate legal authorities. If this does not resolve your problems, remember that your father can revoke the Power of Attorney at any time and for whatever reason. A€ this needs to be done in writing and all affected third-parties (e.g., banks, nursing home, etc.) need to be made aware. You can always institute legal action against your sister and seek a court order granting you visitation or gain guardianship/conservatorship over your father. If you cannot resolve your issues, contact an Elder Law or Family Planning attorney to determine the best course of action.
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lynpep,

What has he been in the hospital since November of last year for? That's almost 9 months? I'm surprised that his insurance has not sent him to a nursing home.

I don't know what to suggest about his daughter saying not to visit him and don't understand why she sees you as a threat to his health.
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Good morning,I do appreciate the reply back, my dear Elderly 89 yr old friend soon to be 90 yrs, a wonderful man! I had been in a relationship with since 2008,we were a couple, we seen each other everyday been there for each other,no family around, but we have visited his daughter a couple times since, this is the person who is now POA, I just thought since her father was going to be moved to her area T.O Sunnybrook Hospital,As I just thought it's family aswell, not thinking I was his family, we were a couple! and he did want me to be POA saying I knew him best, I do regret that I didn't step up now, he has been in the Hospital since last Nov/14,I dont drive but had a friend taking me to see him every week for the first 5 months, we loved each other the nurses would say he miss's me & talk's about me all the time,I then could only see him every 2 week that lasted for a couple months,I called him every day and there wasn't ever any issue, then I could only afford to see him once a month,It sure kill's me that I can't see him more,So again I was still able to call him and we just were so in love and have been there every single day for the past 8 yrs litterly,The daughter E-mailed me one day to say he had a fall and to not see him for 2 months, I was upset as she was indicating It was my fault,I did stay away for a month,then went to visit him,Oh boy what a wonderful visit it always is,then I got another E-mail saying to stay away,H e always talked about me even the nurses would say he was very happy when I was there and couldn't wait to see or hear from me, I know the feeling,lol we love and care for each other,So then I got an E-mail saying no call's aswell, I tried everydayor every other day to call to talk all the nurse would say is he's sleeping or busy or eating,I am very upset as I(we)have been cut off from now talking to each other,what a cruel thing she has done,I know he has Dementia but the heart never forgets! we do love each other dearly.That will never change,I don't understand why she has done this now he is in an area for agressive behaviour :( The daughter say's it for his health and safety,I do care about him.but just cutting us off is a mean,cruel thing any human can do, I miss him so It's been 6 week's now,Oh I am needing some advise on what can I do please help (us) Thank-You sooooo much
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freedom14,

More often than not, it is the insurance company who determines how long a person stays in the hospital than the doctor or anyone else. Doctors recent the insurance companies telling them how to do medical treatment.

lynpep,

I'm not sure about that for the hospital is the domain of the doctor and nurses who can be informed of the concerns and then decide what to do. What sort of visitation restrictions is the father under already? Is he in ICU or CCU? Is this family member a threat to their physical health and well being? In what ways is this person seen as a threat?
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can a person who is POA for her father that is a resident in the hospital with Dementia,have the right to keep his loved one from visiting him or even talking to him? she say's it's for his health and safety reason
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If the patient has capacity then yes he certainly can. And if he has capacity he can, moreover, revoke his daughter's MPOA and either appoint another representative or not, as he pleases.

But are you sure that there is a better alternative for his care? Look before you leap when it comes to encouraging him to do any of this. What is your relationship to the patient?
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Is a patient in a nursing home allowed to see his admission papers even if he has a Medical POA? His daughter has MPOA and wants him to stay. His mind is good and understands what she and his CPA (who has financial POA) are trying to do. What can be done?
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Does a patient in a nursing facility have the right to see their admission papers?
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This is a clear Violation of the most basic of Human Rights. The right to Visit
I have heard story after story where a Power of Attorney makes a short phone call to the nursing home and say’s “I don’t want so&so (in most cases it’s a blood relative of the patient) to have any more visits or communication with the patient”
With no questions asked the nursing home will then follow the instructions. I’ve even heard of a case where the power of attorney instructed staff to remove the patents personal phone from their room with further instructions not to allow the patient to receive any phone calls through the house phone without first getting the OK from the power of Attorney.

The thing that pisses me off the most is when I read thing like the Power of Attorney don’t (Generally) have this kind of authority. Or some just come out and say, taking away a basic human right visitations can only be done through a court order, period.
Why then does every nursing home comply no questions asked?

Doesn't a power of attorney have to accountable to anyone. Or at least be required to give good cause in front of a judge before being allow to sever family relationships with no more than a quick phone call.
I'm going to start blogging about this.
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As a lawyer, i do not recommend doing anything that would cast you in a bad light. Having said that, you should go to the nursing home and, if denied a visit, ask to see an administrator immediately and discuss the situation with them. The power of attorney must be explicit in denying you the right to see her. If the poa is a health care poa, I would be surprised if it contained any language that granted the holder the right to deny visitors. In the situation above regarding not feeding someone, that issue must have been addressed by an advanced directive- a patient has the right to refuse food and water, but the poa without that right to refuse on his/her behalf , cannot make that decision for them. It must have been granted somewhere legally. Nursing homes do not like being sued nor would they collaborate to go against a patients wishes unless they were given explicit instructions. So stay on the up and up and force the hand of this person. Because a court looking at this later or the nursing home administration now will not be inclined to listen to anyone who is being as underhanded as it sounds like this person is being with you. But do stand up for your rights and if you are not given a satisfactory explanation or one that sits right in your gut, you should immediately get the legal system or adult protective services involved. As for the individual looking for a good eldercare attorney in Maryland, the bar association has a lawyer referral service; they also have an elder law committee I believe. All of the members of this committee are practicing attorneys. You can go to the MSBA website, or call the MSBA to find out who is on this committee and start there.
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I am going through some of the same issues. I can tell you this power of attorney ends at death. So no one can keep you from going to the funeral!
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