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Hi there, thanks in advance for any thoughts you may have on my situation.



My wife and I own a 2 family home. 10 years ago, shortly after my dad passed away, my mom moved into unit #2. My wife, myself and kids live in unit #1. Both units are 3 bedroom units.



My mom helped us a lot with daycare and the 2 kids, so we never considered charging any rent. My moms pensions and social security add up to about $5000 per month and she has offered a few times. At any rate, the property taxes, water and sewer have more than doubled over the years and my wife and I are struggling a bit. The market rent for the apartment is about $1500, which would pay most of our mortgage. I would never dream of charging my mom that, but she offered to pay $600 a month, which is about 1/3 of our mortgage and also 1/3 of the other utilities. She doesn't want to move and we don't want her to move. That said, she is 76 and having some mobility issues. A friend of our had major problems with the Medicade 5 year look back period and fear if we accept my moms offer, it will come back to haunt us down the road if my mom ever needs nursing home assistance. Anyone have any thoughts on how we could deal with the situation?



Thanks so much!



Dave

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Mom should be paying at least $1000 a month, plus all her utilities and groceries.

She is still under the $1500 you could be getting for rent. Sure she helped with childcare but she was also getting a free place to stay.

How old are the children now? How many hours a week does she help out?

Now with her mobility issues her child care helping days are probably short lived. What are your plans for mom when she can no longer live by herself in this place? The time to start talking about that with her is now.

Medicaid look backs is something you should consult a lawyer about to see how to structure rent payments legally to fully comply with medicaid just in case.
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Speak with Mom. Then attend an elder law attorney and have a contract for "shared living expenses" drawn up. It is very important this be done. There are ways around taxes, but if Mom pays rent this is reportable income. An attorney will help you work out what works best.

I honestly cannot imagine this not being addressed. An ALF would gobble up Mom's entire income PLUS more. She is in an enormous apartment I personally wouldn't even want to clean anymore at 81, but that's up to her and to you.

It's far past time to address this for the good of you all. Be honest with her. You have said it is now a struggle. Her giving you small amounts here and there is not a good thing, and would be looked on as "gifting". So do this simple procedure now with an attorney and so happy you have worked out these living circumstances that work for you all.
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Dave472 Oct 2023
I 100% agree on the size of the apartment. That said, 2 of the bedrooms are set up with storage/stuff from her old house with my dad. So, used like storage units. Kids are 11 & 13. Her goal has been to stay independent until the kids get out of high school. Who knows if that can happen.

I felt very guilty about thinking about rent. I know it is stupid, but friends have commented to me they would never dream of doing so, and what would your dad say and so on.

But, I think it is the right thing to do and I am going to call an elder attorney for advice. I am starting to research ones in the area.

Thanks so much! This discussion has helped me take some emotion out of my thought process, and that is a good thing.
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My 94-yr old Mom lives next door to us. In 2019 we bought her house, and she still lives in it. We charge her enough to cover expenses for the house. Every month I have an itemized rent invoice and she pays it through auto transfer (since I'm joint on her bank account).

Others are correct that Medicaid is very state-specific. Don't make any assumptions about her income and her ability to qualify, should she need it. For one thing, most states' MA only covers LTC. This means she is sick enough to be bed-ridden. A few states do pay for AL. I don't know if any pay for MC. Needing LTC is a medical assessment made by a doctor. So, for Medicaid, one has qualify on 2 fronts: medically and financially.

Your best bet is to consult with a Medicaid Planner for her home state, so you can know for sure what you need to do (if anything) to help her become eligible, should she need it.
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With her income she won't qualify for Medicaid in the first place.

Charge her rent, that is not a look back issue in the first place,

Everyone needs to pay their way. You are worrying about something that isn't even a problem.
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Dave, Medicaid is incredibly State-specific. You and mom need to visit a well-qualified Elder Law attorney in her state to get a plan in place for how she will pay for her living accommodations now and to plan for the future.

Make sure she does a durable POA for finances and health care so that you can handle things for her in the future when there are emergencies.
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Thanks everyone, this is why I asked. My moms situation is kind of unique. She has social security, a private pension and DIC from the VA from my dad. I believe the VA also has some benefits for a surviving spouse of a Veteran who passed from a service related condition. As time passes, and while she still is doing ok, I want to map things out from here as best as I can. But, as was posted in a prior comment, I really need to get some income out of the rental unit to help us out.
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Your mother has income, so I doubt whether she will qualify for Medicaid. Medicaid is for people with limited income and resource. Your mother’s income is way above the Medicaid limit.

You need to seek the advice of an elder law attorney to see if your mother will qualify for Medicaid.
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Medicaid doesn't expect elders to live for free. It's "gifting" of money that's the problem.

Get a lawyer to draft you a rental lease for mom. She pays you rent and you pay taxes on the money she pays.
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If she has an income of $5000 a month, what is she doing with it? She could be saving so that she can afford private pay in a nice facility when she needs it.

What may haunt you down the road is that she continues to live in your unit, requires full-time care that she expects you to provide, and you can’t get her out to rent your property for income.
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Dupedwife Oct 2023
You are correct. The OP’s mother should be saving her money for private pay down the road. I doubt that the OP’s mother will qualify for Medicaid benefits because she has an income. Also, with COLA, OP’s mother’s income will increase yearly depending on the cost of living. Medicaid is for people with limited income and resource, and OP’s mother is above Medicaid’s limited income and resource threshold.
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As you have surely seen, over and over on this site: “consult an elder care attorney”! You are mighty smart to anticipate trouble down the road with that darn “lookback” re: Medicaid. You certainly want to avoid that, if possible. Get a good lawyer, conversant with these issues, right away!
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