A POA is so serious we are all a bit reluctant to go that far, at least right now. Putting my name on some of the bank accounts so I can write checks or make withdrawals for them seems like a nice (temporary) middle ground. I've heard of children all with good and honest intentions getting slammed by taxes on their parents assets as if the children "suddenly" had this added net-worth. The effect is similar to a POA without being such a broad impact. So is this a wise thing to do and would it impact my tax position in any way?
My name is on my mother's accounts. It was most peculiar. She and her attorney did not trust me to be POA over all her financial affairs, but she trusted me enough to put my name on her accounts. Go figure! The truth is that she didn't understand what a POA does and her attorney is a bit nutty.
I am a banker. Hope this info helped.
You mention that your name is on your mother's account. That sounds like my mother who put my name on all of her accounts and investments as co-owner with right of survivorship. Her money was completely seperate from my step-dad's but they did have a joint account.
Do your parents have a joint account or your dad have his own accounts? If your name is not on them, you will not be able to help him when the time comes unless you have his durable POA. If you don't get his durable POA soon enough, you will end up going to court to file guardianship for him when he becomes incompetent and that is costly, $5,000 and requires two doctors testifying in court that your dad is incompetent.
Also, you state that your name is only on some of the accounts. Well, that answers your question about needing a durable POA for both you mom and dad right there. Without a POA you will not be able to access that money for their care when they need it. Also, without a POA you will not be able to file their taxes in their behalf when they are no longer competent to do so.
You have a lot to think about. I suggest getting durable and medical POA for each parent as soon as you can! I gather you are an only child like myself which simplifies things.
Then, 2 years ago, I signed his income tax return as "so-and-so in behalf of". I found out that I could not do that. I needed to have POA. I explained to the tax lady my dad's situation and his refusal to give anyone POA. She said that they have their own POA form just only for taxes. On the form, my dad can only just mark the box that only allows me to sign his tax return. Only to sign for that and nothing else. My father agreed to that.
FYI, he's reaching the stage where he is accusing me of stealing his money from his bank accounts. I'm finding myself becoming stressed over this. And making sure I have receipts as back up.
I'm not who you asked the question of but since I'm here and been through this, I will give my answer.
You are right that POA ends at your mother's death. Sorry, but you don't have the legal authority to write yourself a check for a large sum of money. A POA cannot normally gift themselves unless it is written into the POA document that they can.
Is there a Will? Do you have the Will? Who does the Will name as the executor or executrix of the Will? If it is you, then you go to the bank and have them create an estate of your mother's name account from which her various remaining bills are to be paid, plus her final tax return before any money is given to anyone.
I learned about this when my mother died but was told I didn't have to do it because I was already for years on all of her accounts as co-owner with right of survivorship which meant it did not get frozen or go through probate, but came directly to me. If not, as the executor of her estate, I would have had to have had the bank create an estate of account like I described below.
What is really bad, it if there is not a Will or no one can fine the Will. Then, you are in a mess and the state will have to settle her estate.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/things-you-can-and-cant-do-with-poa-152673.htm
I would suggest reading the responses to this article as well.
Any lawyer will tell you NEVER co-mingle funds. About the safest option is to be added only as an authorized signer and NOT a joint account owner.
My NH mom has been on hospice now for 18 months, this summer after another TIA, things looked pretty bad so I went to find out exactly where I stood for her banking. I am DPOA; it is 1 checking account & mom is on Medicaid. I live in another state. I pay directly from this account mom's SOC payment to the NH and write checks for whatever personal stuff she needs when I come in to visit.
this is what I was told: account is set up under mom's SS with me as a signature on the account. Account is POD to me upon her death & as such I can elect to keep it open with my SS attached to the account as it is now mine due to POD. I just need to keep it "active" in some way, like a small deposit every 6 months. This account only gets mom's SS & my late dad's federal survivor retirement, so once she dies there will be no longer be any direct deposit of funds so just whatever smallish amount left from her personal needs allowance of $ 60 each month not paid to NH as mom's SOC for Medicaid will be left. This account can become the estate account when probate opens and can change to that if need be.
Now my mom's state (TX) has probate at 4 years, so I could as executrix in theory keep the account open being idle for quite a long time before it became an estate account. Whether or not it will become an estate account will depend on just what path of probate is done. If full probate opened, then yes, it will turn into estate of account and the balance as of her DoD is due to me from her estate whenever that closes. But if we are able to do a muniment of title for her house, then no and I'll just let the account run as is till muniment if finished then close it out and the remainder is mine.
Your state's banking rules and probate laws are going to make a difference as to what your options are. Really you need to be DPOA. Most states have POA as totally private with 2 witnesses and a notary signature & seal to be legal. Some states (like Mississippi) you are supposed to register the document at the courthouse.
My mother has issues from her own childhood and still talks about them, to the point that I refuse to hear them. I feel that no one is responsible for abuse or neglect that happens to them but they are certainly responsible to get help and have no right to torture their own children because of it or use it as an excuse to be a substandard human being. I am sorry, I draw the line at this. If you had your eyelids sewn open, were horribly abused and held in a closet or something else you may have something that is more understandable but not because your mother favored your younger sister due to a child between you dying and she had a breakdown. The next child born saved her mom's sanity, the lost child died at 18 mos of a rupture appendix and the guilt at improper dx and care overwhelmed her. She was wrong to not give my mother, at the tender age of 3, the care and love she needed but well, things happen. She did adore the next daughter and so it goes.
My aunt is satan to my mother and she has always called me her name my entire life, like a slip of the tongue and my sister is my mother from head to toe, in appearance and behavior, to the extent that it is scary. These dynamics have caused a rift that only widened with the years and the personality profile of my mom being that she is cruel and says the worst things she can think of to maim and harm you when she is angry, was passed to my only sister. She does the same.
It is an interesting thing to muddle through and a sad one as well. I told my mother this past weekend that I wanted to have the attorneys make my sister the DPOA and she said no, she never wanted her as that, she would prefer another lawyer. Well, sports fans, she is not wealthy and that is not an option. My sister is not equipped to be the POA, she hates me more than she loved my mom, and that is the absolute truth. She is petty, jealous, angry and mean inside. There is nothing anyone can do until she wants a different life. This behavior is with her in all her jobs, and other relationships. I love her but I do not like her at all and she has finally run me off. I am done with her and if my mother does not stop with the "you do not do anything for me" crap, I am going to insist on the DPOA and let the chips fall. I am not well myself and this is almost more than i can take.
If she is alive, the money can only be spent on her needs, not yours.