What do you do when parent refuse to go to doctor appointments anymore?

Oh, she's 86 and has been diagnosed cognitive impairment/skizophenic w/paronoid features/ ruled incompete, and she just got letter from DMV revoking license; but she blames it all on me... If anybody has suggestions, to include a doc please let me know something, thanks.

OK, explain to me WHY you and your brother want to keep your schizophrenic mother in her house? If she is dangerous to herself and others, which she is if she physically attacks you or is likely to grab the steering wheel out of your hands while you're driving, she belongs in a more restrictive care situation. The cops have warned you not to be alone with her. And you think your biggest problem is that she won't go to her doctor's appointments? Does she have a life-threatening condition other than mental illness? If she refuses to go to her appointments (and I know how this can be because my mother does it) could you get her to sign a document that states that she, of her own will, refused to go to the doc? I'm just trying to get you off the legal hook. Frankly, an 86-year-old throwing a tantrum is NOT the same thing as a three-year-old doing it. You can't pick up a squirming 86 year old and carry her out to the car. When my 90-year-old mother gets this way I warn her that if she is not cooperative with me and my sibs caring for her, then we will have to find a facility where medical professionals will care for her. This usually gets her pouting, but then she will comply. If she does not, then I have her sign a piece of paper that says she knows she had a doctor's appointment on this day at this time for this reason, but she REFUSES to go to that appointment of her own free will. I tell her I'm just trying to protect myself legally if something happens to her. That will also get her pouting, but makes her think I'm really serious, and then she either complies, or I have a document saying she refuses to go.

Dgin that's smart thinking. I worked at a mental health facility for a few years, and folks with schizophrenic diagnosis were notorious for not wanting to go to appointments, and not wanting to take their meds. It was usually when they were off the meds that they would refuse to go to appointments. Once they'd start feeling normal, they'd think they didn't need their meds. All kinds of things would happen after that. Sfcerwhit, you really don't want her to go off those meds. If you have to you can probably have her picked up and taken to a facility, for her own safely, where she will be given them... but that opens up a whole new can of worms. God Bless.

Thanks to both of you, as stated earlier, this all happend in the last 3week...and it's all new to me, and my brother as far as what we should do. One of her appts in question is tomorrow, and the docter office called her and she refused; and then they left a message on my ans machine of that conversation (so there's the proof for that one at least). I'm going to her docters office for advise this week to see what can be done. For over a year or more, I knew something was wrong with her, but never knew exactly what (no med POA) until this past month when her court appointed lawyers gave their report to the judge. That report (16May13) is how we just found out that she's been diagnosed with schzophrenics, and that's the day she hit me in court, in front of the judge, 2 lawyers, my brother and the police officer. The 28th of May is when she actually ran at me, like crazed w/out her walker or her cane...I happend to turn around just in time to catch her fist with my hand, so she tried it with the other fist and I caught that one too; I called out to my bro as she continued to try to get free and fight w/me, and he came and got her. I did call police and was advise of not being alone w/her, to keep a logged account of what happend; and if it happens again they will come out to talk to her and do a incident report. This was her second time trying to hurt/harm me. But now I know I have to do more, from reading your replies...and yes, if we have to, we might have to have her put in a facility but I'll get with her docters tomorrow to see what we should do or can do. Maybe they can talk to her and get her back on meds if not taking them. As far as opening a can of worms, I know because I had family against me even petitioning for guardianship...so guess they'll have to be upset with me again because they're not here or seeing the things she does...

Oh and yes "Dgin", she has diabetes, a pacemaker, and high blood pressure..so that's another reason I haven't been there since the 28th, because don't want to upset her. I'm not mad, because I know what's going on with her, but don't want to upset her either. I've been just sending cook meals, and staying updated from my bro of what she does. I know I'm going to have to go over there but I'll wait until I talk to her docters.

sfcerwhit, in the state and county that I live in, there are homes where a lot of these folks stay. I am not sure exactly how it all plays out, perhaps the folks receive a sum of money to run the homes, not sure, but I do know that they also help to manage the money of the folks that live there, maybe. And have to make sure you get a good one, some of those folks can be crooked, taking the money and not providing proper care for the individual. I think, as well, that some of those individuals have others who manage their money, outside of the home. I am not talking about a state run hospital or anything like that, but it basically boils down to be a boarding home type place. Nobody wants to do that, of course, and I've seen families suffer, gravely, while continuing to try and manage adult children in their homes. Bless his heart, one fellow had both, a son and a daughter, who were adults with that diagnosis. He was run ragged. These adult children often had to be "picked up" by the authorities and brought into our office for eval, then taken to the local privately run mental facility, where they would usually stay for a number of days, sometimes weeks, while they gave them meds, or adjusted their meds, until such time that it was safe to be brought back home. Sometimes that sort of thing was good, and more often than not, the only recourse. The flip side was that, once there, they would be loaded chock full of those meds, and sometimes there were side effects. Many of those also take more than one type of medication. Again, managing those meds is difficult. The programs at our facility (the outpatient type) have wonderful programs for our folks. Medicaid buses picked these folks up several times a week and took them to "day programs". There, they had lots fun, became involved in all sorts of things, to include art work, and took day trips. All these things build self-esteem and encourage independence. Many times these folks do much better in a home than they do living with family, as they are prepared to deal with these folks, have the tools, and time and, for whatever reason, the client is often many times more co-operative with others, than with family. Family always gets the bad end of that stick, or maybe just the one who is dealing with them the most. I know, I care for my mother. . Some of them lived at home, with family, but left for the day, and then returned to family at the end of the day. Being 86, this may not be an option, they often refuse, the older they get, but we had folks of all ages in our programs. They even sang for us during the holidays. They were like family to us, we loved them so much, and was sad for us when we witnessed days when they got out of sorts (sometimes it was just something like running down the hall and dropping to the ground and crawling, in some kind of fear... other times some of them might take off their clothes ::o (this may have been something that happened to someone of that diagnosis who wasn't in our program, but it did happen, more than once). There were certain days a month that were set up, specifically, for those folks to come in and get their "shots" ... in a nutshell, everything was pretty much set up to cover as much as possible, in their lives, from helping to manage their meds, to keeping their minds occupied during the day, and making sure they are safe at night. And, they also transported them to their appointments, to make sure they were compliant and kept getting their 'scripts. I always wanted to understand "the voices". Schizophrenics can often be observed talking to thin air, sometimes having arguments and even taking their own fingers and poking themselves in the chest, as if it was someone else doing that, to make a point within the context of their argument/conversation. The meds are what keeps the voices down. Also, I've been told, many of them have discovered that if they wear headphones and listen to music, this will also keep the voices down. Good luck! God Bless! And you do what's best for all concerned. The ones that don't understand, well they aren't' the ones who have to manage her and they really don't have a clue. Sometimes I felt sorry that some of those folks didn't have family around to care for them, and were kept in these homes, but many of them did have family that visited during the holidays, or came and took them out to eat every so often... but there go I but for the grace of God... and I won't judge another whose shoes I've not walked in. . you've got your hands full, or your brother. Best to you.